2 under 2, when does it get easier?!

[Smarshian]

I have DD 21 months and DS 16 weeks. The first 6 weeks I felt like it was easier than anticipated but I am just starting to really struggle. DD is very strong willed and full on, and now DS is starting to want more of my attention / gets whinge if I don't hold him or entertain him, hates the sling and hates being lay down.
I'm just finding everything so intense. It took me 50 minutes to get dressed today as every time I went to grab an item of clothing DS wanted me or DD needed the toilet (she is recently potty trained). I'm just finding it so hard. We don't have any family nearby or anyone who could help and although we get out the house every day to groups etc any friends I have have got their own children to look after so can't really help us.
So looking for some reassurance that it gets easier and any tips.

I had two with 11 months between them. It gets easier - got easier for me when the younger one (who was a baby who bloody well hated being a baby) was mobile and able to interact on a more equal footing with her older sibling. She was such a grouch and so discontent when she couldn't crawl or walk. Now they're incredibly close and she's the happiest-natured kid you'd ever hope to meet.

I know they have a bit of a reputation sometimes - and I vowed never to use one with my first - but a jumparoo was a real godsend when DD2 hit the right age for it - it just made her so much more content being on that vertical level with her sibling for a bit and meant I could actually get dressed while supervising them without the constant pissed off baby factor. (She also loathed slings)

Potty training is probably peak grimness age.

My 2 have the same age gap. I found the whole of DD(the younger)'s first year a total blur - I can scarcely remember a single thing about it, but it did get better after that.

In my case DS (the older) didn't sleep through the night until he was 3.5, so when he was about 4 was the age that I actually started to feel human again. If you have better sleepers, hopefully this will happen earlier!

DS only napped for 40 minutes a day, so I tried to manipulate DD's naps so she slept at the same time as that was the only rest I got.
And don't be afraid to use cbeebies! One feeding and one watching TV provides relative calm!

I’d like to say I remember it well, but I don’t. It a blur. 14 months between the first two here (then 20 months, then DC4 2.5 years after).

Double buggy and sling were essential to me. I also had a swing which was wonderful.

Getting out the house is the worst part of the day. But it must be done. Long walks. Trips to the park. The longer you are out, the tidier your house stays.

A cleaner. Sounds like a luxury, I considered it an essential. But I don’t care if I had to live on jacket potatoes and baked beans.

Pre-school nursery if there’s anything local. Playgroups. Friends with children the same age will help keep you sane.

I stopped going out when DS1 was 18 months old. DS3 was an early walker at 10 months. Only went to friends houses with DCs similar age at that point.

It gets easier at about 3. Then it turns to shit again at about 13/14. But you don’t need to worry about that now 😄

I don’t know but it does. I promise!
I have a 19mnth gap.

Sling and buggy and then buggy and buggy board.
Get the eldest involved and start prompting independence.
Get them to pick their own clothes and get themselves dressed etc. Maybe ‘making breakfast’
I kept the cereal in toddler reach along with bowls and then had just the right amount of mild in a jug so she could do that herself.

I have the same gap and when the younger one starts moving about it's easier in some ways but worse in others! Youngest is 2 now and it's a doddle at the minute as the older goes to nursery although getting out the door is becoming a nightmare again as soon as one has a coat on the other needs a wee etc but definitely easier than the baby stage

Oh yes snacks. Always have snacks to hand. Never go anywhere without a banana.

That rule stays until they leave home. (Not the banana. A banana, nor fruit of any description, will not be considered a suitable snack after the age of 6).

You’ve reminded me of what it was like. Honestly, looking back, I am remembering the time very fondly. Good lifelong friendships were made at this time, and the children have grown up together. There are a lot of good things happening and to come. I am proud of myself for getting through it, but at the time I didn’t realise how well I did. Just as you are.

You’re in the thick of it. Look for the good things. Take care of yourself. And when it really turns to shit, watch them sleeping. It always sets it right again.