4 YEAR OLD asking "how do babies get in your tummy?" HELP!!!

[looneytune]

I'm a childminder who looks after babies every day (both started at 7/8 weeks and are now nearly 6 months and nearly 4 months).

He LOVES babies and wants mummy to have one in her tummy - bless

Now...........what do I do about this???...........Ds is 4.3 and this morning said to me in the car "Mummy, I know babies grow in your tummy but HOW do they get there?"

I managed to change the subject by pointing at the BAD traffic this morning - phew - reason for not answering is because I want to answer it correctly. I phoned dh and told him about this question and he laughed and said ds asked him the same thing last night. He also managed to change the subject.

Now, I'm a big believer in explaining things as they are (within reason, wouldn't want to talk about stuff that would really upset him) but I'm worried about his age and whether or not I should use a story like the stork etc (but I just DON'T believe in making up stories) or do I just tell it as it is? I worry about what he would say at nursery school etc if he knew the full details but this is clearly on his mind so I can't ignore it.

IF I'm to tell him as close to the facts as possible, can anyone recommend anything/got any tips?

That's it really, just at how early he's come up with this question!

There are some really good books out there designed to help with this. My neice is 3 and we bought her a book called 'Mummy ate a house' or something like that. There are other ones too.

I told mine the full-ish detail at this age

they were fascinated and have shocked their friends with it on more than one occasion

Oh great, I had no idea.

Right, a list of recommended books then please I feel a trip to the library or a look at ebay coming!

Mummy ate a house? Is that not terribly misleading?

OH its actually called There a house inside my mummy. See here

. my ds has gone through this too recently, and also asked "how did I get out of mummy's tummy?" dh was there at the time so I remained discretely in the background while dh tried to avoid the subject.

no birds and bees stuff in there though

• I do want to tell now and am glad people don't think I'm mad for wanting to

He already knows about how they come out etc (well, he was fascinated watching his birth video when he was 3!)

Right, time to pick him up - hope we can leave the question for a bit

in that book I mean

tbh I always fudge it until they beg to know so I can be sure tehy really want to know

there's a special seed and if it's the right time it'll grow just like plants

is my favourite

Theres definitely books out there with basic birds and bees stuff for little ones.

I told dd1 the Full Facts (well fullish)

She looked absolutely repulsed and said 'is there any other way to make babies at all?', in a little hopeful voice.

My mum told me when i was 4 and found her contraception in the medicine cupboard. I was the only child at school who knew how babies were made and how they were born

We were given a great book Mummy laid an Egg for DD who is about the same age. It's informative and funny and explains just enough I think.
HTH

my dd1 asked aged two [!!! emoticon]. I said that I had an egg inside me and daddy and I had a special grown up cuddle and he planted something inside me like pollen [!!!!!! Iknow but I was under pressure] and that made the egg grow into a baby.
dh pretended to be asleep iirc.
at 4.3 I would tell him more detail tbh. just say the mechanics of what happens and it is what grown ups do when they are in a relationship

At that age Mum kept the explanation to " Mummy and Daddy have a special kind of cuddle that only grownups do; Daddy plants a special seed inside mummy and it joins with a special egg inside mummy's tummy and makes a baby; the baby is very small at first and stays inside mummy's tummy until it is big enough to be born."

Its confusing with all these mixed species analogies - dd1 asked me when she was 3 how blue tits breastfeed.

Tell the truth.

Tell the truth.

I believe in telling children the truth when they ask; if they are old enough to ask the question, they are old enough to be given the real answer, albeit in simplified form. I certainly think that age 4 is old enough to be given the basics. Children are remarkably accepting of these things, and I believe that we owe it to them not to lie to them about how they happen.

My dd was under 3 when she asked about where babies come from, so I told her they come from a special place inside their mummy's tummy. Her next question was how the baby gets inside there, so I told her that daddy has a seed that he puts inside mummy's tummy, it joins together with an egg which is already inside mummy, and together the seed and the egg grows into a baby, just like seeds in the garden grow.

And yes, she wanted to know how daddy puts the seed there, so I told her with his willy, she asked where he put his willy and I told her. She just nodded sagely and went back to her colouring book. I'm a big believer, though, in only answering the particular question that dd asks, and not elaborating to far unless she asks me to.

We read Mummy Laid an Egg to dd - it's a bit irreverent, but I like that in a book! It does contain cartoon-type illustrations that show mummy and daddy having their "special cuddle" though (on a space-hopper in one of the pictures!) so if you don't want to go into too much detail, you might like to look at the book first to make sure it's acceptable to you.

Yeah, we did the special cuddle between mummy and daddy.

Wow, thanks everyone I'm SOOO glad you don't think I'm mad for telling ds the truth at this age - it's totally what I believe I should do, if he's old enough to ask the question then he's old enough to be given a proper answer

I'm not at all nervous, just didn't want to blurt it out whilst driving on the way to school. I feel much better about the whole thing now so will answer his question and then if he asks more, I will answer each one as we go along.

Thanks again

WWB, might have to print out your post for future reference, v well put

My dd asked when I was pregnant with dd2 - she was just under 3. Then she started asking some more a few weeks ago, at 3.5 - she's a 'need to know' sort of child. I tell her the truth as simply and matter of factly as possible, and its no big deal.

That said, she's a high tech baby and no special cuddles were involved (not conceptually, at least) so her story is a little different. But I am making a point of telling her that not all mummies and daddies need help in making babies - in fact, most don't - otherwise, knowing dd, her entire nursery class will start correcting their parents' stories and telling them that willies have nothing to do with it