An almost exactly 2 year age gap?

[Beautifulblue]

I've just found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant & I have a 1yo daughter. The baby will be due 1 month before she is 2. Anyone have a similar age gap? What did you find the hardest & what are some of the best things about a small age gap? I'm a little nervous now I know how hard having a baby is & having a 2yo in tow!

Congratulations! Following for similar advice!

Congratulations!! We have an age gap of 22.5 months. The early days are hard and I found (wrongly) that I expected too much from a toddler because they seemed 'old' in comparison. He wanted to be babied, so toilet training was hard (so easy with 2nd).
I found logistics and transportation hard and going to supermarkets/shops difficult. I didn't get a double pram but really wished I had.
It's getting easier now the eldest has started school and our youngest can communicate well, but I definitely won't be adding anymore to our brood
It's really good that they are similar age and can (but not always) play well together so I'm really glad we have the gap we do.

Following for advice as well as there will be little over 2 years between my son and new baby. Congratulations OP I'm nearly 7 weeks with number 2.

I had my 2nd baby 3 days ago and my first born just turned 2. It's very early days but I've found that with support it's been wonderful. My husband and parents are helping out loads so that for me is the key. I'm absolutely expecting the challenges to come but so far so good. Congratulations to you... it's going to happens now so I'd say enjoy the ride and get some lovely books and crafty activities for your 2 year old to have when the baby arrives.

My DD and DS are 22 months apart. The hardest thing at the start was that DD wasn't out of nappies when DS was born which just felt like I was forever changing one of them.

Biggest difficulty was that I didn't feel I had the same chance to meet other parents at baby groups that I did with eldest. We had to go to toddler groups as I couldn't take a 2 year old to any baby groups.

Saying that, now they are older it's brilliant. They go to bed at the same time, play together all the time and are interested in the same activities when we do days out. It's hard at the start but brilliant once you're through the first 2 years!

Thanks everyone for your advice & congrats to those in similar positions I'm still getting my head around it but I am very happy. Under know illusions there are going to be challenges but as an only child I always wanted my DD to have a sibling & im really pleased there won't be a big gap so they will hopefully grow up close!

I am pregnant and my little girl will be 25 months so just over 2, when baby is born, i am very nervous but hoping it will b ok which im sure it will!

@chicken2015 congrats! Do you feel guilty on your little girl? it sounds crazy, I know a sibling is a gift but I feel bad she's not going to get all the attention anymore. But then I guess number 2 will never experience it! It's quite scary though isn't it? 2 under 3, practically under 2... I'm sure we'll be fine & get into the swing...

Mine are 18 months apart (youngest now almost 9 months). Honestly it’s all been a blur. It’s pretty good now though. There’s plenty of jealousy though. And the older is copying the younger and trying to get attention for doing what he does 🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh I felt and sometimes still feel sorry for him and guilty for his less attention (the older one) than he’s used to, but I think it’s for the best or I’d spoil him too much.

My DC are 22 months apart - they are 14 and 13 now

I found it a lot easier than I expected when DD was born - I was still used to the whole looking after a baby thing and DD just slotted in with what DS did. Was definitely harder going from 0-1 than from 1-2.

GCSEs and A levels simultaneously.

I'm a bit further down the line, DD1 is 10 and 22 Months behind her is DD2 at 8. (Plus DD3 just 4!)

One thing I remember from the early days was trying to make a conscious effort to spend time with DD1. Sounds so simple in theory but harder in reality. We didn't want eldest to resent the new baby because it meant she got the rough end of the stick. So even if it's just 20 mins one on one at bedtime or similar, just give that reassurance they are just as loved as before.

DD2 'grew up' quicker because she idolised her big sister. So where DD1 was 2 1/2 before dry in the day, DD2 was bang on 2, simply because she had an example to follow.

Forward to now, one thing I'm really bad as is forgetting that there IS 2 year between them. I tend to expect similar things etc from the 8 year old as the 10. So behaviour and understanding does differ slightly and I'm guilty of expecting 8 to be the same as 10 if that makes sense.

Now we have DD3, again I'm sorry to say I'm bad in that DD2 does get 'middle child syndrome' at times. DD3 has chronic eczema which takes a lot of care, due to that we have only recently cracked potty training. (Didn't want any extra pressures on her). With DD1 just started middle school she has new challenges, friendship issues and general hormones! As a result DD2 tends to simply plod along and then will either blow up with all her stuff, or behave so appallingly just to get some attention.

I think what I'm trying to waffle about is to go easy on yourself. You will make the odd blooper, you will have hard days but it does come good. It will be new balls in the air and you may well drop some once in a while. Remember that while they are learning how to be themselves, you are also learning every day about being an adult and parent.

Good luck!!

Mine are just under 2 years apart. I did have a period of guilt that no1s little life was going to be so changed but it was fine. They loved helping out with easy little tasks like getting a nappy for the baby, and they were still small enough to be happy to sit snuggled in watching CBeebies while I fed no 2.

My tips would be

• try and get them both down for a post-lunch nap at the same time to give you a break.
• get a cheap second hand double buggy
• always have a drink and a snack ready for no1 when you sit down to feed no2
• prepare yourself for the fact that your little toddler will suddenly seem like a GIANT once no 2 comes home

Op I have this gap and strongly suspect the hardest thing may be in 17 years' time when you have one doing A levels and one doing GCSEs at the same time (this is me in May-June next year aaargh!)

Seriously, congratulations, it's a great gap, they will be close and the older one will never remember not having their sibling. I never had a double, I was the queen of the sling.

Hi OP, my ds2 is now 3 weeks old and my ds1 just turned 2. I expected it to be tough but the guilt re my first boy is the worst bit. He watches a lot of cbeebies and gets frustrated in the afternoons when his energy has built up but hopefully we'll find a plan that works for all. He is lovely with ds2 though and (so far!) has been very gentle and kind. I think it might be easier if you have grandparents/family close by. My husband works 12hr shifts so those days are a bit crazy.

There's 23.5 months between my 2. The first 3-4 months were fine (apart from the evenings but only because ds2 was very colicky). The baby pretty much lived in the baby sling and only really came out for nappy changes and baths . Much harder once he was old enough to want to get out and explore. Ds1 was too little to understand about being gentle with the baby and even with constant supervision, ds2 did unforunately get hit quite a lot. I also found it very isolating as I couldn't go to baby groups with the toddler and toddler groups tend to be a lot more active with less time for chatting and making friends. I found it much much harder than I had expected and I was very happy to go back to work at the end of mat leave . Otoh my cousin had a similar age gap between her two dcs and apparently had none of these problems, so you never know what to expect. I think some childcare for the eldest, a comfortable sling, a double buggy and a dh who doesn't work silly hours all help make it more bearable.

My eldest is now at school and my youngest has just started preschool. They are the best of friends and play together happily with minimal fighting, they like the same things so share all their books and toys with each other. It's a nice age gap after the first 12-18 months is out the way!

Congratulations on the pregnancy. Hope this post wasn't too depressing .

I am due anyway with my second and will have exactly the same gap. Great to hear advice from others on dealing with juggling 2 of them.
Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I have felt guilty that I am going to turn my eldest's world upside down and make her grow up faster than she otherwise would have to but I keep focusing on the long term benefits of having both at a similar age and hopefully having similar interests.

Mine are 23 months apart and I think it’s a really good age gap. At nearly 2 my DS was old enough to be interested and involved but not so old he was bothered about being stuck in a room playing with a few toys whilst I fed. Also there are occasions when they both napped at the same time (bliss).
Now they are 3 and 5 and they play together really well and I don’t have to do much in the way of role play etc cos they’re happy together.
Of course there are the hard bits. The amount of stuff you have to take with you. One handed breast feeding whilst changing nappies. And oh my goodness the nappies.... so many nappies. Knowing who to deal with first when they are both crying (I usually went to my DS so he wouldn’t feel left out).
However I didn’t find it as hard having two as I found after my first. As a wise man once said to me - The difference between 0 and 1 is infinity but the difference between 1 and 2 is only one.
Good luck and congratulations

I have a 23 month age gap with my eldest 2. Both girls. They have been best friends up until the last year. My eldest is now 11 which seems so much older than 9! They're both a bit hormonal!!

Having said that it's just the time of the fighting which grated on me. They've always squabbled but they still do spend a lot of time together. They do even occasionally still hold hands!! Rare though!

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences! I'm getting a bit teary reading how you all feel/felt guilt over your older DC! After all she is the one who is real & here right no so in my mind is obviously the priority! Although I'm sure this will adjust when baby is born & be shared equally. I just hate the thought of her feeling pushed out so will make a big effort to avoid this! I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried but I agree that they'll probably both benefit from each other when they're a bit older! It's just that initial 1-2 years adjusting! But hey, we'll cope also have a very hands on DP who only works 9-5.30 so I know I'm lucky there.

I'm due my second when DD is turning 2 and am so glad to see others feel guilty. My DH just rolls his eyes at me but I feel I'm creating so much upheaval in DD's life and she's had no say in it. I know it's irrational but I can't stop thinking about it!

There were 22 months between mine. I agree with @piffpaffpoffs list.

They are 10 and 12 now so can't recall all the details but a routine was more important than with dc1 (or dc3 ) to be sure i met their needs. Amd my need for headspace, so I got them both napping together after lunch and baths and bed early. DH wasn't about much either then so I remember it as tough at times but fondly. They were both happy with the same parks and playgroups.

I hadon't planned for a double buggy but ended up with a Phil and teds as dc1 went from never going near buggy to wanting it all the time as the baby had it. With dc3 I found a stretchy wrap sling a godsend (baby was colicky and I even learnt how to bf in it wallking about ) but not sure if that would have worked back then as might have made toddler jealous. Did used your make kids own slings for teddies out of pashminas for days out which kept them happy.

Omg yes beautiful i totally feel guilty! Its the feeling ive been trying to name!!

Phil and teds as dc1 went from never going near buggy to wanting it all the time as the baby had it

Haha today me, husband, two year old and baby were walking home with baby in the buggy. Husband suggested carrying baby home because I was worried he’d fall asleep before we got there and needed him to save it for his nap once we got there. I asked two year old if he wants to go in the buggy, he was so excited he fell out when trying to climb in (into a patch of stinging nettles poor thing!)