One week of full time left with my son on mat leave....feeling jealous and defensive

[Jellybabie3]

So I know I am being petty but I need to know i am normal (please).

I have one full week left with my DS. He turns 1 in a week too. The following 2 weeks he will have 6 days of settling in with a childminder who happens to be a very close friend (to cover the 3 days per week i will be working shortly)

Everytime I see anyone now, including her, i get 'not long now' and 'there will be tears soon'... To the point I feel like clinging on to DS and just avoiding people....

I am gutted I am going back to work in a few weeks and I know (everyone tells me) that I should enjoy my 6 days by myself. But i just dont want to. I want to keep DS with me every minute I have left. And I am angry and jealous at the thought of my friend seeing all these magical tiny tiny things my son does everyday and heartbroken I wont see them to appreciate them...

Hes also being booked in to hospital in a few weeks for tests (reflux related) which makes me wanna cling on to him even more and so so angry when give me their opinions 'oh freddie was like that and we didnt make a fuss 👿'....is this hormones or something....

I am literally avoiding people now

I’m sure that’s totally normal...well i hope so! I’m about to go back and have been looking forward to it, but the closer it gets the more I’m dreading it. Weve been together 24/7 for so long!

I went back to work on Monday, and on the Sunday I just cried all day. I didn't want to leave DD, I didn't want someone else to enjoy my baby and I just wanted to spend everyday with her. Unfortunately I don't have an option, 💰💰.

But I have to admit that being back at work and away from DD wasn't as bad as I had thought. Although I felt a tad bitter towards MIL, when she told me about the lovely day they'd shared together. Autumn walks, lunch out!

I'm hoping this feeling with ease with time. I have wonderful memories of the times I spent with my Nanna, and I want DD to experience that too. It's just so hard to let go of this wonderful little person you created.

I’ve just gone back to work and dreaded it but it’s actuslly brilliant!!! I love the balance of being back

My DD is 4months and I'm going back to work in January. Dreading it already. I just want to be a stay at home mum but, as PP said, gotta bring in the dosh

I feel for your OP but it honestly gets easier. Are you going back full or part time?

Try and ignore unhelpful comments (not easy I know). I was made redundant and stayed at home for a bit with my first - I had people commenting that nursery would benefit him and when was I going back to work...you can't win!

FWIW dd2 went to a child minder and excluding 20secs of crying as i walk out the door has been 100% happy.

And I only did a 3 hour settling session before 2 full days then 3 full days.

I don't think you need 6 settling sessions unless you're working and need the cover.

I'm also working 3 days and I adore the balance, work days go so quickly and I'm drained from thinking- what a change!

By saying this I'm obviously new to all of this but I didn't know childminders (and childcare places too?) did "settling in" hours. Is that everywhere? Good idea!

I'm sorry you're finding it so hard op. Hopefully there will be parts of the return to work that you really enjoy though, and you will still have precious time with your DS; in fact you'll make better use of your leisure time with him (or I did anyway) because it's limited.

FWIW, I was the complete opposite and was dying to return to work; it took me 6mo to start missing my DC clearly am not very maternal!!

Hi Op,

I was feeling ready to return back when DD was 9 or 10 months as weaning was going very slowly and I felt like I needed a bit of a break as apart from DP helping out and looking after her for the afternoon so can get hair done ect he's been generally very busy with work, plus he sadly lost both parents this year, so I've had to get on with most of the care on my own as he's been back in Scotland to helps his parents and we live in the South.

Anyway, my little one is 13 months and it's my 4th week back next wk. Right up until she was starting nursery, I did feel very sad, anxious and worried as she wasn't eating well still and I was concerned how easily she would settle in? Fast forward now the transformation has been amazing she eats so well and has settled in brilliantly. I love doing 3 full days and hearing about all her news when I pick her up. She also did her first painting for Daddy last week 💗
I think it will feel hard at first Op, but I'm sure once you establish a new routine it will get easier.

The last week was before I started back was a bit of a blur as was getting a ton of things done, but now I have Thursdays and Friday's together and we swim on Thursdays at a lovely hotel and on Friday's meet with a mummy friend (go for walks or indoor soft play), so I really enjoy those days together before we get to the weekend and have some family time.

I wouldn't worry about what people say everyone has an opinion as we know, enjoy the last week and honestly it will get easier xx

@lovetravel2 thank you so much for posting your positive experience. It helps to hear these things.

I'm going back on Tuesday after a year's mat leave and sway between looking forward to it and dreading it. I just find it hard to believe that tomorrow is the last day of my mat leave! I'm only doing 3 days though.

Good luck OP, we'll both be fine and hopefully enjoy the balance