Teaching good social interaction, empathy and manners from 2yo

[Synohomonymgraphphone]

Can anyone recommend a good book on teaching (developmentally-appropriate) good manners to a 2yo? Or some 'social stories' that demonstrate good social interactions?

DS is nearly 2. Like most kids this age, he's relatively unsociable with people he doesn't know, fairly demanding and self-centred. His use of "please" is only for things he really wants, and "thankyou" apparently means "you have this, I'm finished with it now". I don't think any of this is out of the ordinary, but I know that I need to get better at actively teaching him how to interact.

I've ordered "great minds and how to grow them" and "How to talk so kids will listen" but neither of these is really about interaction outside the immediate family, which is what I think we really need to work on.

He's just doing what 2 year olds do, he's not capable of these things yet. The best way to teach him is to model those behaviours yourself - if you shout and are rude, he will be. If you are kind and polite, he will be. It's not something you can force to happen early, but it is something you expect to change as he grows. Being around other children of the same age helps to some extent, but they don't tend to be good examples of the behaviour you're looking for!

I think most 2 year olds are self centred. I have a just turned two year old and what I do I prompt for manners all the time so if she asks for something I'll say "thankyou?" As I give it to her and she then repeats it back to me. Or if I say do you want x y z? She says yes and I'll say yes please? And she then repeats it back to me. I've been doing this for a long time and she's now doing it of her own accord which is nice.

Agree with pps, he isn’t 2 yet. His world is him & you and his df. He’ll learn to interact with the outside world by watching you and his play mates at nursery or child minder.
You don’t need to do anything else. Just be polite and respectful in your behaviour and he’ll copy you.

You just model it in your own interactions. Say please and thank you yourself and prompt him to do the same. If he’s rough and does something to hurt you or another child. I used to remove mine from the situation to calm down, when she was calm, we’d talk about what happened and what she should have done instead, then I’d model gentle touching and ask her to touch me gently, then she was expected to apologise (to me or whoever). It was just doing that sort of thing over and over for about a year that really helped.

Also using ‘teachable moments’ to talk about how she felt and empathy. If she got upset because her friend scratched her or was mean to her, we talked about her feelings and I tried to emphasise this is why it’s important for everyone to be kind and I’d connect to these memories next time she was the one doing the scratching!

Don't forget it's a work in progress ... for the next 20 years or more!