Newborn cries whenever put down, how to manage with a toddler too?

[graysor]

Ds is 3 weeks old. He cries whenever I put him down, whether it’s in a cot, bouncy chair, play mat or wherever. So I carry him in the sling a lot. But there are some things that are impossible with him in the sling ( getting dressed for example!). And sometimes I just need to put him down to deal with toddler dd (she’s 2.9 and still needs a fair bit of wrangling at times).

But this seems to end up with ds spending quite a bit of time crying and distressed. He is then only really settled by breastfeeding.

I’m feeling guilty that I’m letting him cry, but can’t really see how to avoid it. Any ideas? Or do we both just have to learn to put up with it??

Sometimes you have to put your baby down to do essential tasks so a little bit of crying is inevitable. Mine is the same. I try to time it so I put him down when he’s not hungry or tired, as there’s more chance of him sitting quietly. I also bought a light and sound playmat because it occupies him for a few minutes, or I put nursery rhymes on YouTube. Not for a long time obviously, but it buys me ten minutes when I absolutely have to put him down.

I have one of these (and a toddler!). The dummy, the bouncer chair and the sling are my three best friends. She settles well with a dummy, I waited until a month old to introduce it as I'm breastfeeding. I also get the toddler on board, him singing baby shark seems to settle her too!

When my second was tiny I implemented a 'policy' that both my first (age 4 with SEN; more like 18 months in terms of mobility so can't dress herself etc), and I had to be dressed and ready to go for the day as soon as we got up in the morning. That way baby could be in the sling straight away too, and if it all got a bit much we were ready to up and go out at a moment's notice. This simple change was a real game changer. Beforehand I was finding that everyone was getting a bit cranky and no one was dressed. So everyone had to get crankier while baby had to be got out of the sling and 4yo had to be got dressed and hair brushed etc. We were out for breakfast a LOT; baby asleep in car seat.

Getting up and dressed first thing is a good idea. As I’m really struggling with getting us all out of the door. Getting dd out of her pjs is a particular flash point. The problem is that first thing for dd is usually pre 6am! Worth a try though.

I’m also eagerly awaiting 4weeks ish to introduce a dummy. Dd never took to it, but I have a feeling it might work for ds. Fingers crossed!