second babies - juggling tips please!

[olatt]

My newest baby is just over 2 weeks o;d and my oldest is 2 years. bath and bed coincide with the littlest's nightly scream and tonight i had to let her cry while i got my overtired toddler bathed and in bed. she cried herself to sleep after a little while, she wasn't alone for long but it's something i would never have let happen with my first when he was that little! what else could i do though!? anyone got any tips on trauma-free evening routines?

Tis a very trying time. No-one to help you out? I mean, the obvious suggestion is get husband/partner to take baby/give toddler the bath, but I guess there's a reason why you're not doing this already.

oh it is so hard at this stage but you will get over the guilt and realise the baby will be fine for a short while. Your big one is probably more in need of your attention at this stage. I used to often do quick bath earlier - late afternoon sometimes - when things a bit calmer which is one more thing off the list. Maybe try starting the toddler's bedtime wind-down much earlier (sometimes here it's into pjs up to 2 hours ahead) - seems to take the pressure off a little.

I used to bath my two together (2 year gap), do milk and stories together (bf the little one) and then put the little one in bed. I'd then leave him to get on with it while I gave the toddler a last story, cuddle and a chat so he had some special "mummy time". I guess that took 15 mins or so. I'd then go and see to the little one if he wasn't already asleep. So I did leave him, but knew it would never be for long. And he VERY quickly stopped fussing when I put him down and just settled himself!

Good luck, it is a juggling game but you will find a plan that works for you soon I'm sure.

You will be amazed at how quickly this phase passes and how quickly you forget about it. My DH had work comittments for the first 6 weeks after my second DC was born and it was sssoooo hard - but we survived. Allbuggs idea is great, get them both bathed together, milk and bed a routine or pattern will soon establish. Keep up the good work and llok after yourself too!

thanks for tips. dh does help when he's here but he doesn't get home in time most nights, so i'll be on my own from now on at that time of day. why does paternity leave have to end?! will try some of these things. tricky because she wants to feed all evening and is sort of collicky - nothing major but she needs cuddles and lots of pacing, while ds1 has (had!) great routine in place and is only just realising the new exciting baby sister toy is here to stay. early bath might work but it depends on baby's hunger ...

It is really hard at this stage, I used to pop DS in front of the washing machine and give older daughter her bath, then feed ds while telling dd her story. Either that or would let DD play a bit later as a special treat while I sorted DS out.
It gets much easier, good luck!