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Parenting

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Original poster

Refusing access?

10 replies

newmummy5 · 27/09/2018 09:23

Just looking for a bit of advice please - not sure if this is the right place to post...
My partner has a daughter from a previous relationship, who lives almost 300 miles away, we visit as often as possible (as we have family who are all from there) when are able too – he won’t be able to get time off this year over the Christmas period due to work commitments and we are due a baby late November, which means we wouldn’t of been traveling 4+ hours anyway this year. His dad said he would bring her down to visit us but her mum is refusing saying 'she doesn’t know him well enough' and if he wants to see her so badly he can visit them (she is 8

My partner pays child maintenance every month, but she is refusing access what are the next steps from here considering she won't have a civil conversation?

OP posts:

EmeryisntthenewWenger · 27/09/2018 09:26

Can’t your partner visit his daughter in his own? I get you might not want to but I think it would be good for him to see her even if it is before/after Christmas.

IStandWithPosie · 27/09/2018 09:28

we visit as often as possible

Well, that’s vague! How regularly does he visit, how often does she stay with him on her own? What parenting does he do?

IStandWithPosie · 27/09/2018 09:29

but she is refusing access

I thought she said he can visit her? That’s not refusing access!

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Lazypuppy · 27/09/2018 10:48

Why can't he go on his own? Or why don' you all fly if you don't want to do the car journey

babydreamer1 · 27/09/2018 15:10

So because you're having a baby a month before, your partner can't travel to see his daughter or at least pick her up and take her back between work commitments. That makes no sense. Her mum isn't refusing access, she's refusing to allow a 300 mile car journey with someone she doesn't know well, so unless your step daughter knows him very well she is being perfectly reasonable. Maintenance has nothing to do with access. Your husband needs to prioritise his daughter.

anotherangel2 · 27/09/2018 17:20

Poor daughter.

anotherangel2 · 27/09/2018 17:21

By that I mean poor daughter with a father who does not prioritise her.

shallichangemyname · 27/09/2018 17:50

Surely she knows her grandfather well enough for him to drive her? If she doesn't see DF so often because of distance, does she see DGPs who live in the same area?
DD will surely want to meet her new half sister/brother?
I'd apply to court. An 8 year old can clearly cope with a car journey with her GF!

SD1978 · 27/09/2018 18:06

I don't think you're going to get much support I'm afraid. I'm assuming as your family are still in that area, you both moved. Visits from her father are sporadic at best. You don't feel like going whilst pregnant, so he won't. He's working 7 days a week, and can't visit, even for a weekend. You want a family memeber on your partners side to bring her to you, for your convenience. Mum has said no. Has she stayed with you before? Has she spent long periods with juts you both in your home town? Has she spent that long with her grandparents before? I'd be doning a hard hat and strapping in- or if there is a drip to be had- drop it in now!

EmeryisntthenewWenger · 28/09/2018 08:40

What has happened to the OP?

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