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10yo refusing homework/zoning out when disciplined!

7 replies

NinjaTurtleMikey · 26/09/2018 21:23

I’m tearing my hair out. I’ve had this at some point every school year since Y2 (now Y6).

My 10 year old usually does his homework bit at a time after school, all well and good. Lovely. He’s generally such a good kid, very kind and caring incredibly clever and just the nicest person I know! I tell himthis regularly and he gets treated as such ie friends round regularly, after school clubs etc

But occasionally, like this week, he’s just refused. He went to homework detention and missed play time and did his work instead. Was told to do a very short book report at home on a very easy book that he had with him. Just won’t. 3 days later it’s been 5 lines of what I can only describe as utter bollocks. He knows it’s not right and I don’t even know where it came from it’s just not right.

When I tell him off (no shouting, form voice and asking him questions) he just blanks. Today was literally stood swaying with this blank expression on and blatantly paying no attention. He’s my boy and I love him to the ends of the earth but that actually pisses me off!. I feel awful even saying it.

My OH has been in his life for 4 years and is very supportive and helps with his homework but he’s at his wits end. We’re each not doing things we had planned because we’re in waiting for him to not do his homework instead! Today it’s borderline caused arguments between me and OH because we’ve had this so many times before!

I can’t see a reason for it, nothing has changed this time or previously. There are no concerns at school and he’s pretty much top of the class at everything most of the time.

Has anyone had similar?

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ashtrayheart · 26/09/2018 21:26

Have you asked him why? Does he want to miss playtime for some reason? I would say to him 'it must be miserable missing playtime to do your homework' and see what he says.

hodgeheg92 · 26/09/2018 21:35

You say that the homework is a very short book report at home on a very easy book and also this he's pretty much top of the class for everything - as a primary teacher this suggests to me that the homework is too easy, it's not of any interest for him. Perhaps he is starting to see the value of his time and is aware that his homework has no value to him, he cannot learn through doing it therefore why should he?

If this is the only issue I'd be tempted to not make him do it. Homework policy at primary school is often just set so that parents are happy but has very little impact on the child's learning.

NinjaTurtleMikey · 26/09/2018 22:53

@hodgeheg92 that’s a really interesting way of looking at it. He usually gets 100% more or less but does get help and homework checks from us otherwise it’s less. The book report was set so that he would have some reading and writing to do as his homework went in yesterday.

Whenever I say that he’s missing out due to his not doing the work, or ask him about it I just get very short shrugs and “yeah” or “I know”.

I think he might be a bit fried. He’s stared doing sport for an hour after school on Mondays which didn’t sound like much but it’s staight from school. He forgot some really simple stuff that day too so I’m thinking so.

It’s just the blank stares I can’t do anything about. I could discipline, take away TV and video games (rarely used but still), take away seeing friends etc and it’s just “ok” blank stares.

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delilahbucket · 26/09/2018 23:02

Is he tired? My ten year old is far less cooperative in all ways when tired.
We have set days and times for everything, it's all about routine. There are days for homework, days for gaming and devices, days for activities. Ds picks when he does his homework as long as it is done he is allowed that freedom. Same for device days, he chooses the two days he wants.

NinjaTurtleMikey · 26/09/2018 23:15

I do believe he is tired but surely not for 3 days straight? He goes to bed at 8, reads til 8:30 and is up at 7:30 in the morning. We usually do it as

Home from school, change clothes and chill out with a snack and drink. Get homework done and check bedroom is tidy then the rest of the day is yours! So why he’s refused to do his homework and missed out I don’t know

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Singlenotsingle · 26/09/2018 23:28

Tbh I think kids are pushed much too hard. When I was at school, admittedly a long time ago, we didn't get homework until we went to secondary school. We still went on to get our degrees etc. And hodgeheg, my 5yo dgs's homework is the bane of our lives and causes endless rows, upsets and meltdowns ( not just his, either!)

NinjaTurtleMikey · 26/09/2018 23:36

I think it must change depending where they go. DS homework is quite simple at times especially for such a bright kid that’s why it’s so frustrating

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