Bit miffed with health visitor...

[RP235]

Hi all,
I went to have baby weighed earlier as he has dropped down the percentiles to the 25th. When he was born he was between the 50th and 75th. He is bfing a lot during the day and wakes about 3-4 times a night to feed back to sleep. As you can imagine it’s really disheartening that despite all my efforts he’s not putting on enough weight in their eyes! To me he’s healthy, happy and meeting all his milestones.

I explained to her that weaning isn’t going great as he will have a mouthful of purée to taste but won’t swallow a lot so it’s not exactly filling him up.

The HV (Health Visitor) has suggested that I’m breastfeeding him too much and he’s not ‘hungry enough’ for solids! She said that solids should hopefully help with the sleep situation (it’s dire) and help him put on weight.

We’ve avoided any type of sleep training as I’ve felt I need to be constantly breastfeeding him to help him put on weight. I’m a bit annoyed I’ve had mixed messages.

She has suggested coming round of a lunch time to see how I am feeding him! I mean he just sits there in a high chair and I offer to spoon feed him or give him some finger foods 🤷🏼‍♀️. He’ll have a bit but that’s it.

I appreciate she’s trying to help me but not sure about her advice about breastfeeding. I only went in a couple of months ago out of curiosity to see how much he weighed and I’ve come back with all these supposed problems.

Any advice? xxx

Urgh! Trust your instinct!
That is far more nutrition in your milk at this young age than baby filling up on bread or porridge etc.

Food before 1 is just for fun etc!

Regular night nursing and or waking is very normal for this age.

Can you just let her know that you will see how you get on over the next few months and will get in touch if you think you need to?

Have you got any breast feeding support groups you ca get to?
Often very supportive for all things breastfeeding and general mothering related too. Especially when someone has maybe knocked your confidence in your parenting choices.

It's a fair point, he may well be filling up on breast feeds and not be hungry to eat anything.

Try the feeding first and then a feed after or concider dropping one of the feeds in favour of food and just water to drink.

*food feeding first

How old is he? Both of mine certainly woke 3-4 times a night for quite a while (despite eating plenty and putting on weight). A few spoonfuls is plenty per meal up to about a year and really their food doesn’t really come from solids. It comes from milk. It’s usually only about after they’re a year that most eat a sizeable quantity of food. Personally, I’d ignore her and just get on with it.

First weaning food actually have fewer calories per volume than breast milk so she is talking nonsense. Have you considered other issues? Is he sick alit. Are his nappies mucousy? Could he have allergies? Is there a tongue tie or latch issue?

I've never understood this whole 'weaning will help them put on weight' nonsense. Full fat milk vs. mashed veg or bread sticks. Ok then.

OP, I'd try not to stress about it. Keep offering food, he'll get there. Maybe try not feeding him right before a 'meal', but honestly, it might be a while before he associates food with filling himself up.

As for the sleep, it often goes a bit to crap around 6 months. And 4 months, and 9 months. Sorry, I'm not helping. Again, he'll get there in the end. Until then, do what you need to survive. Feeding lying down, naps in the day where possible.... I'm sure you have that figured out already too.

Meh. Ignore hv is my advice and trust your instincts.

Health Visitors, like lots of people, often go into their jobs to help people. My personal opinion is that sometimes this can translate to being eager to solve 'problems' that don't exist.

Health visitors!!!!!!!
Food before one is just for fun!
My daughter was bf she did hit all markers and followed her line beautifully, however!!!

She did not eat anything resembling a normal meal till around 15-16 months.
I did purées and blw she had all the different textures etc.
I was worried sick hv, gp ,paeds consultant and my own mother all told me I was wrong and she needed more solid food.

My instincts told me she wasn't ready and I was right.

2 1/2 now and she eats anything and everything, not just that but she is growing and looks so so healthy.

It will come.

My 21m old still breastfeed overnight and doesn't eat much and is on 2nd centile. He's my 3rd and I'm very relaxed. He's just small and likes to eat little and often rather than big meals.

It sounds like you are doing a great job. Please don't get hung up on centiles, some babies will naturally be smaller!

The 25th centile is a perfectly average centile. Babies are not expected to maintain their birth centile. A weight centile on its own is also a bit meaningless. It needs to be looked at in conjunction with the head and length centile and also the height of the parents. Many breastfed babies eat hardly any food before nine months old.

DD just turned 1 and has mostly purée from me if anything at all as BF still. She eats no problem for other people when I'm not there. Took ages for her to do chunkier textures and a bout of tonsillitis put her back a bit. I'd keep trying here and there but don't stress about it. Think on it some more when DC approaches 1 and begins to need more nutrients than milk offers at this point.
Trust your instincts and do what YOU feel is right. If DC is happy and healthy then no biggy. Keep an eye on the weight and perhaps speak to a doctor instead if you're still concerned.
Try Sarah Ockwell-Smith Gentle Sleep book - it tells you children don't naturally sleep through until around age 5!! I'm still up around 5 times a night.
I could go on as had many an opinion from everyone as no one seems to agree with my parenting...
HV told me to stop BF as no benefits passed 12 months and should have done controlled crying early on.
Listen to all the advice you get; pick out what you like and disregard everything you don't. Every parent is different and so is every child.
I've recently joined some Facebook groups and found them really helpful.

Take everything your HV says with a pinch of salt.

Breastfeeding support groups can be very helpful and supportive. Maybe see if there's one running at our local children's centre?

My 8 month old has just dropped below 50th percentile but health visitor said its normal to fluctuate in first year especially as they start moving etc.

My LO has 4 5oz bottles a day and 3 meals but she is very active which is why she probably hasn't put much weight on.

Hi everyone,

Thank you all so much for replying I really appreciate it.
You're so right to trust my instinct. I feel like if I hadn't got him weighed I'd have no concerns at all. He's just little and not a really chunky boy. But he's happy and doing all the things he should be doing.

I'm not sure how I got talked into a HV visit next week to discuss things. As far as I'm concerned I'm just offering him a little bit of food and he's just not fussed at the moment. I wouldn't be that worried if she hadn't made an issue out of it. I'm not sure what she expects him to eat at this point because he's a long way off eating a hearty portion to fill him up. And like many of you have said it's the milk that holds most of the nutritional value not some puréed carrot!
I feel annoyed that she's worried me about it and got me questioning my ability to parent. He's my second child and I breastfed my first for two years yet here I am worrying he's not putting on enough weight and that he should be eating lots of solids and dropping milk feeds which I know won't help.
I will see what happens next week but I just wanted to say thank you for being kind and reassuring me, I appreciate it!

Honestly I just stopped going with my second. I’d kept the first one alive so figured I vaguely knew what I was doing!