Constipated / holding in poo

[Dunders]

I am at my wits end with my dd. She has always been a terrible eater and also drinks the barest minimum. As a consequence she has been constipated regularly. She has been on lactulose for a while. We tried potty training her at the beginning of the summer. We have managed very well with the wees. Unfortunately we are having a nightmare with her poos. At this stage I don't actually know if she is trying to pass a poo or push it back up, iykwim, but either way at least 10 times a day she will go stand somewhere,her body will go rigid, you can see her stomach contracting. She soils herself slightly on each of these occasions so I have to keep changing her. She also says that it hurts her to sit down so she will be brave and stand up. Eventually after a couple of days a poo will come during one of these episodes, but the whole process then repeats itself. I have a 5 mth old and a 4 year old as well and it has gotten to the stage that I have spent all summer cancelling arrangements cos I just don't have it in me anymore to go out. I have tried hiding fruit / veg in her food but its like she has a sensor that can detect anything that might be nutritious ! I think we are just caught up in a terrible circle but I have no idea how to break it. I am so worried and preoccupied with watching my dd, that I felt so guilty when my ds1 asked me this morning why I was looking so sad. Can anybody please help ?

I sympathise greatly dunders. There was a thread on this some time ago. I had the same probs with my dd when she was 2-4 years old and know how worrying it can be. I think fluids are the key. My dd was a good eater but unless you reminded her she hardly drank at all. You've probably thought of this but every hour or so get her to have even a few sips of water or juice. Every little helps. When she got really desperate I would put her in a very warm bath, it seemed to relax her muscles and very often she would ask to get out of the bath to do a poo. Her record of going without was 10 days! If it gets v bad the doctor will prescribe suppositories but as you can imagine that's fairly traumatic for both of you but sometimes you'll try anything and they did work.

She's 8 now BTW and and no problems whatsoever- and would be mortified to know I was discusssing her poos on the internet!!

I do sympathise. This happened with dd.

First thing, don't beat yourself up about the diet thing. Dd had an excellent diet, lots of fruit and veg, plenty of liquids, and she retained her poo. If they are going to do it, they will do it.

See your gp and ask for extra help. I remember crying with the practice nurse as I was so wound up at the whole thing.

Mt HV eventually told me that she felt that dd was doing it as an attention seaking thing. I would ignore tantrums, never worried about what she ate, so this was soemthing that she could do that was forcing me to react. It was a control issue, if you like.

On the positive side, it went away, around the time of her being potty trained. She is now a healty 7 year old with normal bowel movements!

I can't give you a 'do this and it will go away' bit of advice, I wish that I could because I do remember how awful it was. Only thing that I would say is try not to concentrate on it too much, impossible I know. And accentuate the positive, rewards etc when she does poo, but low key stuff, no start charts as they re-informce the behaviour you dont want, but making more of an issue of the thing.

Hope things get better soon.

dunders

I really can relate to this at the moment.

My DS 2yrs 8 months, became constipated on holiday about 6 weeks ago. We were presribed a laxative, which worked initially, but he really doesn't like doing a poo at all. He will sit down, ly down, hold his bottom, anything to stop the poo from coming out!! And yes it is really upsetting sometimes.He has been on Lactulose too for about two weeks, which did soften his poo, but he still seemed to dislike doing it. So the doctor has now prescribed Docusol, another stronger poo softener.
Bizarrely I have managed to bladder train him over the last 10 days, which is a real achievement. He will sometimes ask for a nappy on and will then poo.We are due to see a peadatrican mid Sept, about his general development ( he was premature by 6 weeks )so I will mention it then.

I wish i could give you more advice, I just wanted to say you're not the only one out there! Good luck!

Dunders.... I have just found this site because my wee 5 year old daughter suffers from this type of affliction too.

It is so cruel to them and torture to us as well. We had 2 days in hospital just last week after no pooh for 10 days, she is so scared to pooh because of the pain, in the past has suffered anal fissures.
Another problem that she has had because of all this is also not being able to let pee out properly, sometimes they can't because of the poo pushing the bladder and then they get urine infections as well.

K was going all day not peeing only in her night nap...Just starting to use pot or toilet with much encouragment.

Seems to be a very slow to get over problem for each household affected with this kind of problem.
I am having wonderful support from our Public health nurse (we live in New Zealand). You too will have supports out there...maybe plunket? (look after babies in N.Z) etc etc.

Often problems such as these a simply not discussed which is not good, things must be talked about for help to be got and problems to be understood.

Lets keep in touch, it is always a good feeling to know we are not alone!
HUGS... we need them eh!

Dunders, me again sorry I forgot to adress the fact you mentioned soiling. Public health thought this may have been what Kayla's problem was it is called "ENCOPRESIS". Pop this into a search engine and learn about it, maybe this is what your child has got?? Apparently it can take around 6 months to remedy,and you would probably need help and advice from someone in the field of kids problems to give you some help and support.

What it is is this....the lower part of the bowel is too full then the kid stops getting the feelling to do poos, then every now and then a bit of poo just pops out, you just never know when it is going to happen, some kids it happens 6 times a day.
You can also get an overflow type thing happening, runnyish pooh coming around the sides of hard pooh or impaction.
Look into it eh? might just be it.
Kind regards
Max

Thank you for your responses. Max, that's really helpful. I shall research it. The doctor has referred us to a paediatrician so we have that appointment next week. On one hand I am filled with absolute relief at the thought of curing this problem, but on the other I am filled with dread as my dd is not an easygoing child. When she has cheast infections, we practically have to hold her down to allow the doctor to listen to her cheast. She has never finished a course of antibiotics in her life, despite trying every trick in the book ! I dread to think how she will cope with this appointment and any medical intervention.

Dunders
Hi
My girl is also a highly strung little tart, can be very shy and nervous also , nurse has metioned that emotional stuff comes into all this a bit too!! I know K has been holding a poo back now for 2 days, I almost find myself praying that she will let it go. It is so hard to cope with isn't it? We have a paediatric appointment but not untill December. Things are slow in N.Z. It all worries me sick and again the kids pick up on this too! Can't win eh