Feeling uncomfortable about child minder

[Purplegecko]

How do I go about telling our child minder we will be removing our child and finding somewhere else? I have childminder on social media and some of the things she posts are not at all very nice and some seem directed at me in particular. They ring some alarm bells, to be honest. In short I just don't feel comfortable with this person being alone with my child. I'm quite shy and non-confontational and am also a bit concerned about finding alternative childcare immediately at this time of the year. Any advice?

I've tried to make this as non-outing as possible but think it's gone beyond that point now so shall post more details.

We shall call Child minder CM, her daughter D and male best friend F.

I have known F for a while, during this friendship he had a relationship with D. I have never been close friends with D.

They split and F and I have obviously continued to be friends as we are adults, and it's not an issue for us. They have no children together and it was an amicable split but they no longer talk. D has never before raised issue with this friendship or seemed bothered by it.

CM and D have always known F and I remained friends, F is also in a new relationship.

Ran into F in town last week and stood for a chat. D walked past but didn't acknowledge either of us, I did wave, it's not a big town (hence we all know one another). D said nothing. Then the status goes up from CM about being "two faced" and having people's "leftovers". I thought nothing of it and didn't for one second think it was about me. Why would someone in a professional position post something like that about the parent of a child in their care? I've had minders before and never experienced any kind of unprofessionalism whatsoever.

As I said before, D still lives at home so with CM. A few people contacted me and said "hey, are you aware of this post? Giving recent things she's said about you and F is this about you?"

F had posted a photo of myself and DD to my wall, I'd asked him to take it as have not got many photos taken by other people (I'm sure most of you know that feeling all too well!) And CM sent the post to F and said "if you don't want people to think you and Purplegecko are together then stop posting sh*t like this on Facebook". Which all but confirmed it for me. Both her and D seem incapable of grasping that people of the opposite sex, who are in relationships themselves, can be friends. Or perhaps she is just upset that I am friends with D'S ex. I do not care ultimately as she was my enployee first and foremost. But again, it's not as if D and I are friends, we don't chat or spend any time together.

I did wonder if I was being paranoid but even if the posts were not about me, I really don't feel comfortable with someone that petty and mean spirited taking care of my child. As the posts continued I did start to feel as if they were directed at me, so sent the screenshots to D and said "are these posts about me?" Before confronting CM and making myself look silly! Attached text is her response.

How can you not know if she's registered? Unless it was a casual arrangement as she's really more of a family 'friend'?

Very unprofessional and you took the right course of action based on what you've put here.

Reading it all back I realise how asinine the entire situation is, hence my incredulous laughter at the whole affair from a distance. I refuse to be involved in the pettiness, it's a bit too "teenager drama" for my liking. She hasn't responded to my message saying I was withdrawing DD as of yet.

I'm sure she is, I just never asked to see the official documents. She's been a minder for years and has a profile on the child care website, she accepts govt funding so I presume that means she must be registered. I didn't feel it necessary to ask to see the docs having known of her for a while! Silly me. I really do feel silly now for the whole thing. Other than that, I found her home lovely and the other children she minds are delightful so it is a shame

Yes withdraw child and report CM to OFSTED.

She should have a social media policy, in that should include not having clients as FB friends. This is a prime example of why.

The lines between her being a CM and a ridiculously twatty FB ranting attention seeker have become blurred and she has massively fucked up.

It's clear this is not a typical CM-parent relationship from your recent posts and is more of a fallout between casual friends so I'd just move your DD's care and let it go.

Yes I don't intend to report it and have let her know as such, as I can't comment on her care of the children, just her very unprofessional nature. She tries to have a friendly relationship with all the parents from discussions I've had which I don't like anyway. Last minder we had uploaded all info onto an online diary and that's the most contact we had apart from pick up and drop off. I told her in my message I won't be leaving any negative reviews but shan't leave any positive ones either and in return I shan't be penalised for termination of the contract without notice.

Sounds fair to me! You're better off with a standard arrangement like the minder before I agree 😊