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Original poster

4 weeks - opinions on leaving baby!

14 replies

CJ1990 · 22/09/2018 15:47

Hi Ladies,

Just after opinions. My husband wants to take me out for a meal or even just out for a coffee next weekend, to practice leaving our baby. And to get some time together. I’m going back to work at 6 months so it’s not like I have a lot of time to practice...

However I’m super torn about saying yes tho! Half of me would love a trip out with the hubby for an hour or so. I’ve been feeling very couped up / missing one on one time with hubby. But the other half of me feels guilty and that it’s too soon. I want a little break but also don’t want to leave her. :(

Feeding won’t be an issue. She takes a bottle as we’ve been combi feeding due to little ones tounge tie (which was fixed this week but she still takes a bottle).

Just very torn about what to do!

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Original poster

CJ1990 · 22/09/2018 15:48

Baby will be 4 weeks next weekend

OP posts:

Original poster

CJ1990 · 22/09/2018 15:49

Oh and I’d be leaving her with my mum or in law! So not a random person I don’t trust..

OP posts:

intuition · 22/09/2018 15:50

Go for it. You will have a phone and I assume a decent sitter. Couple time is important. Feeling guilty?? Welcome to motherhood!! I feel guilty at every stage and my DSs are 14&15!!

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Fraula · 22/09/2018 15:52

If you feel you'd enjoy it, go for a nice coffee somewhere nearby, just for an hour. Then you won't have time to worry; you'll be back really soon. Maybe progress to lunch the weekend after. A 6 month old is VERY different to a 4 week old and you'll feel completely different about it. So don't rush and just do it when you're ready. There's no need to start leaving the baby just yet, unless you actually want to.

Jamhandprints · 22/09/2018 15:55

If you want to and its just for a couple of hours then go for it. But there's no pressure if you don't want to yet. With my DS's I was quite keen to get a little break early on and left them with their dad or my MiL. Now I have a 12 week old DD and I have no desire to leave her, she's been with me almost constantly because that's what I've wanted. Either way, don't feel guilty. It's good to spend time alone with your OH but could be next month if you feel like it's too soon.
ENJOY your first weeks with your new baby! :-)

BertrandRussell · 22/09/2018 15:58

It is ENTIRELY up to you. If you want to go then go, but there is absolutely no need to if you don't. The baby will be fine.

Cel982 · 22/09/2018 15:59

Four weeks is very young for anyone to be putting pressure on you to leave your baby. The idea that you need to 'practise' is nonsense. Babies are very portable at this age, if you take her with you she'll probably snooze through the whole thing.

lexi727 · 22/09/2018 16:32

I left both of mine at 4 weeks for an hour or two but only with my DM and literally for two hours max. If you don't want to, then don't get pressured into it! It's when you're ready, not DH

Verbena87 · 22/09/2018 16:35

Do what feels right for you. We went for a meal but not til more like 8 weeks - felt very soon to me, but left baby with my parents and chose a restaurant nearby so I knew I could dash back if I needed to. We were out 3 hours and I definitely found it harder than the baby did!

PotteringAlong · 22/09/2018 16:37

There is no right answer here. I wouldn’t have done it. None of mine had had a bottle by that stage and I wouldn’t have wanted to leave them even if they had. Others are entirely comfortable with it.

mindutopia · 22/09/2018 17:08

If you’re happy to, then go enjoy your meal out. Our first was 6 weeks old and we went for lunch at the pub in our village (like 1 minute from our house walking). My mum stayed with her and they went for a walk together. I cried half the meal because I was so emotional and I missed her but I’m glad we did it.

I wouldn’t see it as ‘practicing’ for going back to work because 1 month and 6 months are very different and you’ll have all new challenges then. But it’s nice to have a few minutes to yourself. A weekend away, no. But lunch or coffee out sounds lovely. Mine is 7 months and I’ve yet to have more than an hour to myself while I went to Tesco (as he doesn’t take a bottle and we have no family help anymore). So I think that sounds great.

FranticallyPeaceful · 22/09/2018 17:55

Is your husband jealous of the time you spend with the baby or something? Why is it so important you’re away from them? It’s far too young in my opinion but everybody is different

WeeDoughball · 22/09/2018 18:16

I would but then DS1 had an overnight at 7 weeks as we had tickets for a show and DS2 was 5 weeks for an overnight as it was a friend's 30th.

Maxtry · 22/09/2018 19:35

Absolutely for you yo decide...no pressire either way. Its actualky easier to get a meal out at that age as they dont get upset when you leave.

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