my 3yr old made me cry all day today in frustration - she's driving me NUTS!!

[lucylala]

am feeling a terrible, useles mother today.

I have a 3yr old and 5mth old. 5mth old is lovely, easy baby, sleeps, cuddles, eats (repeat).

My little girl is lovely too and i adore her but she is driving me nuts in last few days. The biggest thing is the state of our house, I am CONSTANTLY tidying toys, clothes away and she literally follows me around the house emptying them out again.
I mowed the lawn today and went inside to give baby his dummy and when i came out she had emptied all the cut grass down the length of the pavement so spent an hour sweeping up outside the houses of our neighbours while she went inside to empty all her lego boxes and dvds all over the floor.

I have tried speaking to her sternly, making a game out of tidying up, telling her off, putting her on naughty step and even screaming at her and she just either has a tantrum or laughs and says 'no, mummy tidy up'. I've told her if she doesn't start putting her toys away i'm going to take them off her but I just haven't got the heart (or the energy) to hear her then mithering me to death for them and the tantrums that will then ensue.

Other problem is when she's tired she has started shouting and screaming at me, right in my face, makes me on the verge of smacking her (which scares me). Hubby is very patient and does tell her off but NEVER loses his cool with her. However, he does admit that he isn't with her all day and she does play up more for me than him.

Today I was crying cos i was so tired from tidying up and trying to do garden and she was so sweet and was hugging me saying 'aww mummy don't cry, you're all right, grown ups don't cry'.

I should add that she's a lovely, friendly, affectionate, cheerful and funny little girls who mixes well and sees loads of extended family which makes me think that all this behaviour is normal and i'm just inadequate cos i can't cope with it.

anyone else having same problems with 3 yr old?

yournot inadeuate at all. thees only so much a person can put up with even if it is normal behaviour for the child. its tiring.

right. change the goal posts. grass on the path insert " i don't give a shit"

dvd's on floor grab a magazine, the baby and a brew. and sit there whilst the 3 yo tidies up.

dont help.

If she doesn't tidy it up, get a binbag and start putting her toys in it - make sure she knows that these are the bags you use in the bin. Tell her beforehand that if she doesn't pick her toys up you will put them in the bin.

If she tantrums and won't pick up, bag some toys up and hide them for a few weeks - tell her they went in the bin. She will start picking up. All you will have to do is get a binbag out. I may be lynched for this, but you are a mother, not a slave.

And yes it is normal, but God Knows three year olds are so tiresome!

My 3 year old's destructiveness used to drive me to tears, regularly

Yes tiz normal, my 2.5 year old can be such a cow.. I love her to pieces but my goodness she drives me up the wall....

Like suggested, i put toys in big box and leave on table if she doesn't tidy..

My house is constantly messy, extended family always remind me, but she will soon be that little bit older and more understanding..

Have you tried talking to her normally (sorry not trying to sound patronising)? But just calm voice?? What really works for me, is telling dd1 i am not talking to her, and then she throws little more tantrum, and when i explain to her again i am not talking until she calms down, she usually gets the message...

Lucylala no you are not a bad mum. This is totally normal.

Is there any way you can leave the tidying till she is in bed? Just constantly tidying up can get very frustrating can't it?

With my DCs I insist they tidy eg the Playmobil away before getting out the dressing up - but the youngest is 4 so it's easier.

I think colditz's idea of bin bag is a good one. Or just bear with it during the day and blitz for 10 mins at 7.30pm?

O.. and i always cry, your not alone.. But i have come to the conclusion, until she leaves home, there will always be little bits here and there of her mess...... Some days more than others. Just don't exhaust yourself

Have you tried to race her at tidying things up?? That one works for me soemtimes!! Or like setting egg timer to see if she can do it before the sand runs out??
HTH