Regret having second child?

[darkgrn]

Does anyone regret having their second child? Or kids in general?

Do you think about all the things you could have been doing with your life?

Obviously it goes without saying that you love them just as much and wouldn't change the situation or them for the world.

A good friend of mine once told me (before I had kids) that if she could go back, and she'd known how hard it would be, she probably wouldn't have had children. Even though she loves her two little boys with all her heart.

I can only speak for myself and say that although there have been some rough times (especially when DD was a baby and didn't sleep), I might have fantasized about how much easier things would be without them, but I don't regret any of my 3. I'm open to more actually.

I would t change it. It's hard, relentless, challenging, and the goal posts are ever changing. But my 2 kids bring so much joy and meaning to my life and I've never known love like it.

I must admit...I enjoy it a lot more now we are past the tiny baby stage. My little one starts school next year. I prefer little people with opinions to tiny babies I think.

I am not a hugely maternal person, and DD is all of a year old, but I can't imagine life without her now - the only issue for me is when to try for another. I do have moments / days where I think it'd be great if DH and I could have a morning to ourselves/stroll through the high street/Saturday brunch without all the inevitable compromises of a young child, but she is so worth it.

I did feel this way when mine were little and when we were having problems- my eldest was and still is very challenging and I also had a shed load of other stuff going on, too. When I look back, I am amazed I got through it in one piece at all .

Look at it more as your friend going through a difficult time. She is not being a bad person, she has not made a huge mistake. She could just use some support right now - probably in a professional capacity. She will come out the other end, I promise

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's great to hear others experiences.

@themuttsnutts you are so right! She's a great mum and loves her kids. They are a bit older now so I assume it has got easier (I hope).

@EssentialHummus same here! That was sort of my reason for the post. I have one DS who I in no way regret and love to the ends of the earth. He's very full on but such a joy. I am thinking about whether to/when to have another and just can't make up my mind!

Thanks again for the posts xx

I’ve only got one and it’s bloody hard work but I absolutely love being a mum. DS is beautiful and hilarious and his attitude to the world is so bright and enthusiastic that you can’t help but feel it rub off on you too. I’m more productive now (I did fuck all with my time before I had him) and I’ve loved obsessing over learning all about babies. I can’t wait to have another one.

I say that even though DS was a surprise and I had pretty much decided not to have children.

Of course it has its downsides, but I think the biggest one for me isn’t anything to do with lose time - the worst thing is when my son is ill or hurt. It terrifies me, even though I try to think logically about it. When he was first born I remember feeling so exhausted by my love for him and seriously wondering how I would handle feeling like that for the rest of my life - it becomes more manageable and less intense but it’s always there.