Nursery anxiety (amongst everything else)

[Catheroooo]

9 month old had her third settling in session today. I go back to work Monday for 3 days a week. For the next 4 weeks DH looks after her then when he goes back to work she goes to nursery.

The first 2 sessions were fine. Both an hour. The first I stayed with her, the second I left her. Today was 2 hours without me over lunch. I was called after an hour and 15 as she refused to eat and was pretty upset. So I got her.

I'm panicking now about leaving her. She's bf but has taken a few ozs of formula in a bottle. We are BLW but it's slow progress and the only thing she seems to eat is wet rice. She seems to nor want to chew. So I'm worried she wont eat.

She's also a poor sleeper. I can put her down awake but the slightest noise wakes her. She won't really settle anywhere but home too. She'll be in a baby room with 4 cots and obviously noise from the nursery.

I'm so worried about how she will get on. She's a sensitive little girl.never sleeps in a pram or car for longer than 45 minutes. I'm just so teary at the thought of leaving her to cope. We've spent the last 18 months together one way or another, the most I gave left her for is 4 hours with her grandparents, may be that was wrong but she never seemed settled enough to leave longer. She still wakes up 2-3 times a night so I'm pretty tired. I don't want to go back to work but that's not an option. Please tell me your stories of poor eaters and sleepers who went to nursery.

I totally understand you. My DS started nursery not so long time ago. It was the same first, he was upset, I was upset. Not enough sleep, not always eating well.
But he settled. They all do. I guess I'm the one who didnt settle, as Im still worrying of them calling me and if he miss me))

Thanks @sunshine789 did yours eat well before? Mine just doesn't seem to get it.

How is yours doing at nursery now?

@Catheroooo yours doesnt want to eat in nursery or at home as well? mine eat there, but not everything they offer.

Now he is good as well as all other kids. I was wondering first how is that babies are so calm and when parents drop them, they dont cry. My doesnt cry anymore too, not even looking at me)))

Its all different from baby to baby, but at the end they all settle)) They all eat and all sleep, so it will come))

This won’t be what you want to hear but we went through similar with DC1 and continued with nursery and regretted it. Quality of care where we were (London) was poor. DC2 had a CM which was much better.

It's lovely that they called you soon, and suggests they are good and care about her wellbeing. My eldest hated nursery from the start, and frankly never grew to love it the way some kids do - bit he made a close bond with his key worker, and was fine. We found that it helped for my DH to do dropoff, he was much less upset than if I left him (and I was too!). So long as they are well cared for, children can be very adaptable, and she will find her way to a rhythm.

Just a contrasting story- my DS was exactly the same, and only tolerated nursery for the first three months. When he went back after the first Christmas break, something clicked and he adored it- now he runs in and pushes me out of the door saying “bye mummy!!”

We’re very tightly bonded, and he’s shown no separation anxiety, and settled well. If it’s a good setting with caring staff, and she’s showing some improvement week on week, I’d keep at it.

Good luck!

Thanks everyone. I guess it's more I worry she will never eat or nap there. As much as the upset is horrible, I do kinda get that it will pass.

She's such a bad napper outside of her home, and has been slow with weaning. She's bf and we haven't pushed formula yet as I wanted to keep her ebf as long as possible. So naively I just expected it to be ok but after today I'm worried we've been stupid but I have tried to get her to nap at Grandmas which she refuses. She has however taken a few ozs of formula from her.