Newborn sleeping in cot / crib / Moses basket?

[graysor]

Has anyone had a newborn who actually slept well in a cot / crib or basket?

Ds is 2 weeks old and will only sleep on me. He has been like this since day 1, even In the hospital he wouldn’t stay sleeping in his plastic cot.

Even if he is in a nice deep sleep if I move him and put him in his crib he immediately wakes up crying. He will not be soothed back to sleep by shushing or rubbing his tummy or anything like that. He just gets increasingly irate until he can only be soothed by being fed again.

At night we’ve been co sleeping, as feeding him lying down until he falls asleep is the only way I can get any rest at all.

So far so normal I thought? His big sister was exactly the same.

But after a telling off from the health visitor, about how ds should be sleeping in his crib I’m starting to doubt myself. Am I doing something wrong?

If you have a baby who does sleep in a cot can you talk me through exactly what you do to make that happen?

My dd was the same for the first few weeks but she's 8 weeks and sleeps brilliantly in the moses basket now and is only waking once during the night. She was in hospital after birth for sepsis and she was very flu by at that time and wouldn't be put down at all. I just persisted with it, if she cried when putting her down I would pick her up and soothe her, or try soothing her with a dummy and then put her back in, and just keep repeating. it's hard because you feel like she's never going to sleep but it's worth it in the end. I'm too scared to cosleep as my partner had a child die from sids years ago. When she wakes in the night now I feed her without speaki g or stimulating her too much, and only change her nappy if necessary and then put her back in her basket and turn the light off. She will who he and make noise for a fee mins but she soon goes off.

Try warming the sheets with a warm wheat sack (not hot obvs) or hottie OP.

Put it in before you start a feed & take it off just before putting him down down, it can be a shock leaving a nice warm human body to get into a cold cot.

Also try an old soft scarf. cut it into several squares. Tuck one inside your bra early in the day & lay it flat under the cot sheet where his head will be. they do this in scbu's & it can really help the babe settle. Rotate the squares so he always has the mummy smell near him.

Worth a try - both worked for me years ago, I had 2 velcro babies!

Have 3.5 month old. I was face to face with her in her after she wriggled around her next to me on the second night we brought her home, she’s been in our bed ever since. She sounds similar to your DS in that if she falls asleep in our arms she wakes up the moment we put her down (and believe me we have tried!) now I just accept it to be honest. I like co-sleeping, I never expected to or planned to but apparently attachment parenting is the life for me...

My DS would only if I swaddled him. I used the Swaddleme wraps and they were great.

My five week old DS will sleep for two hour periods at night in his Bednest (a sidesleeper bed). At first we were putting him in a sleepyhead when he was tiny and putting that in the Bednest and then as he has got bigger we have removed it and he sleeps just on the mattress. He doesn't settle on me though due to smelling milk all the time so opposite to your situation!

Have you got a cotbed that tilts? Maybe it's the flat position?

I do remember at 2 weeks it was a struggle to get him to sleep but the sleepyhead was really good as it makes them feel cosy and surrounded and also try a white noise machine as well

Swaddled in a warmed cot worked for us. We used the Velcro swaddles and a wheat bag to warm the cot. I also tried putting down a muslin that smelled like me. Not sure which of these was the most effective but something worked.

She's 6 months old and still in my bed! I've never cosiest for the whole night though - usually just 3/4am until morning.

When she was tiny, the things that helped her sleep in her own space were a next to me crib (wouldn't go in the Moses basket for anything!), a sleepyhead, a velcro swaddle and used t shirt under her mattress. It's tough but everything changes so fast!

Yes my now 7.5 month old slept in her next to me crib easily from birth and moses basket for day naps from birth. To be honest it's nothing we did just luck. I did make a pretend sleepy head - small rolled up towel under a muslin beneath her - to make her feel a little cosier which helped.

You are not doing anything wrong. Keep practising putting him down and he'll get the idea, and try and find the sweet spot for lying him down after feeding - is it 1 min after feeding or 5 or 20 min etc.

Mine will sometimes sleep in her cot and sometimes not. It's pretty random.

Thanks for all your responses and ideas.

I’ve tried swaddling, which ds hates.

I will dig out a hot water bottle to warm up his next to bed crib a bit to see if that makes a difference.

I could try a tshirt or muslin that smells of me, but I’m a bit worried that’ll just make him want to feed/ comfort suck even more? .

It’s not lying flat on his back that’s the problem, as he’s fine like that with me in the bed.

Those of you who persevered with trying to put dc down in a crib, even when they wake up every time, how long did you keep going for? Last night i fed ds (about 40 mins) then I spent over 90 minutes trying to settle him in the next to bed crib. Occasionally he’d drop off, but within 5 mins he’d be thrashing around and crying again. Whenever I picked him up to comfort him and try to rock him back to sleep he just roots for feeding again. So I’m back to square one needing to feed to get him back to sleep. And am absolutely exhausted doing this multiple times a night.

My baby is 4 weeks and is the same but during the day. Will scream and cry when put down. My friend suggested playing white noise fairly loud for him. I was skeptical but my god it has worked a treat. He also sleeps in a nest on his side as he doesn't like being on his back and wakes himself up with his flailing arms.

Completely normal. Have you googled the 4th trimester?

The only solution for us was a Sleepyhead. She slept instantly in that from the very first attempt.

It’s all very well for people to smugly tell you to persevere with putting a baby in his own cot because it worked for them. Some babies will just have none of it, no matter how long you persevere. Telling mums that their baby won’t sleep in a cot because they haven’t persevered enough isn’t helpful or true. I couldn’t have persevered harder with my son but he just doesn’t want to sleep in a cot. The only way I get more than an hours sleep is to get in bed together, bf to sleep and let him sleep beside me with my arm around him.

Spikey- thank you, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Some babies will respond to a bit of perseverance, but others just won’t. It’s good to hear that, especially when you start to doubt yourself!

My older dd was much the same and a dreadful sleeper. But I had wondered maybe we didn’t try hard enough, and vowed to persevere more with ds. But maybe i should just accept now that ds isn’t going to be a cot sleeper for the time being. And continue with co sleeping as the path of least resistance.

Butlers - yep, know all about the 4th trimester! Dd spent practically the full first 12 weeks of her life in a sling or asleep on my chest.

I could try some white noise. But I’m reluctant to get a sleepyhead, as it’s over £100 for what is effectively a bit of foam. We had one for dd (don’t think it helped at all) but would need to get a new one. I could try the diy approach with some rolled up towels under the sheet I suppose.

Go with your instinct OP, my only regret with my two was struggling to get them to self settle, instead of just enjoying co-sleeping while they were little.
It's not for everyone but if you are comfortable doing a version of it, whatever gets you all through the night with maximum sleep is the right way.

It's such an exhausting stage but it does pass, so make it as easy as possible for yourself, he is still so young.
for you.

We had a similar situation with DD who is 15 weeks, up to about 8 weeks my partner and I would sleep in shifts me from 8pm-12am and my partner from 12am to 6am!

I eventually realised she hated her Moses basket, so we brought her cot bed into our room it’s now next to my side of the bed. She sleeps loads better in her cot bed and the first night she was in it she slept from 10pm until half 2 and then from 3am until 6.30am! She has slept through a couple of nights as well which is great.

It does take about an hour to settle her though, so we start the bedtime routine around 9pm (I know it’s late but we will try to bring it forward when she sleeps through more) we give her a bath every other night but always change her clothes before bed and pop a fresh nappy on, we then give her a bottle and she usually falls asleep drinking her bottle, if you’re breast feeding I’m pretty sure they also fall asleep feeding as well! Once she’s asleep and finished with feeding, I then have her on my chest for as long as it takes for her to fall sound asleep I will also wrap her blanket around us both, during this time I will mess about on my phone and keep myself occupied so I don’t fall asleep too! after that I will lay her down on her back on my bed and wrap her blanket around her, I then wait a minute or so to make sure she’s not stirring or waking up, if she does wake up I put her back on me for another 10 minutes if she’s sound asleep still I will transfer her to her cot.

It usually takes about 3-4 attempts to get her to sleep in her cot and sometimes if it’s been over an hour I will change her nappy again and give her some extra milk. It’s exhausting at times but that seems to work for me and my LO at the moment.

Xx

Co-sleeping is normal and the best way to deal with this stage IMO. Your health visitor ought to have advised you that cot sleeping is safer, but not telling you off if you've chosen another way. They actually don't like HCPs doing that as it tends to cause parents to lie which means they don't get a chance to discuss safe co-sleeping. That's not good because unsafe co-sleeping is so risky.

She is meant to have given you this leaflet: www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/08/Caring-for-your-baby-at-night-web.pdf

If you do want to encourage the cot sleeping I've found the no cry sleep solution for newborns (it's newer than the original) to be really helpful this time around, lots of tips and approaches to try in there.

OP sleepyheads are expensive. We bought DS a Poddle Pod and he loves it. Far cheaper. Aldi also do even cheaper versions