Working as a parent - struggling

[Chosenbyyou]

Hi

I work 4 days per week compressed hours. 3.5yo and 17mo - nursery three days, DH one day and me one day.

I’m still finding it hard after being back for 9 months.

It’s just the constant-ness of it all.

Anyone else finding it hard or knows when it eases up?!

We have a cleaner already. DS was up at 4.30am which is fairly normal for him so that doesn’t help :(

No advice to offer sorry but I fee the same. 3 DCs and I work 4 days a week. House is always a mess and if I relax for a second it all starts falling apart.

Could you share a little more about your day to day routine ( hours, meals, activities, what is especially bothering you...) then we can suggest some tweaks!

No real advice but it is overwhelmingly relentless. It does get easier in time just be kind to yourself. Make sure you prioritise rest over washing up. If everyone goes to bed unharmed and fed you are doing great.

Aww thank you, sometimes it all feels a bit too much for me!

DH works shifts as doctor and I work flexi but need to do 35hrs per week for a client (creative role). I am also office based so only do couple of hrs from home per week - can’t increase this.

The smallest gets up really early at 4.45-5.45ish each day. Then generally sleeps 2.5hrs 11.30-2ish and bed at 7.30ish.

We have a cleaner once a week and DH does childcare once a week as he works a w.e shift.

I could reduce my work hours but I would keep the same role so it wouldn’t help really. I feel a little bit stuck in a catch 22.

I was hoping it would get easier after 9 Montoya but I’m a tired parent and a tired worker! Neither I feel good at but maybe it will change at some point.

Thank you x

Can you increase the nursery by an extra day? I put my DS in on my day off just to give myself catch up time.

I know the general consensus is putting them to bed later, they still wake up ungodly early...
But we recently stopped DS (20 months) from napping so much during the day and started putting him to bed at 8pm. He now sleeps until 6-6:30 instead of those dreaded 4:30 wake ups.

Are you able to limit naps and do a late bed time? Could you try it for a week?(it might take a few days for him to adjust)

If you sort the early waking so thing, everything will feel sooooo much easier.

Really try and treat the 4:30 wake ups as if it was 1 or 2 am...

What have you already tried? Think logically about why smallest is waking so early. Hunger/ boredom?
My first advice would be to examine how much milk, food, activity S/he is getting through the day.
So Pattern should be with a normal wake up,
Morning :milk, meal, activity,sleep (max 1 hr) snack/ water, activity, milk, sleep. ( 2.5 hrs)

Afternoon: snack /water, activity, meal, bath, snack, milk, sleep.

The after bath snack ( eg porridge, weetabix, wholemeal toast,) absolutely solved nighttime/ early waking for us especially if dinner wasn’t great.