Kids bad behaviour at meal times

[sunshine05]

I'm at my wits end. Every dinner is the same. The kids start off being silly and the whole meal ends up being lots of laughing, messing around and I've had enough! DH is away a lot so I often eat with the kids. I can't seem to control them. Some might say but they're just being kids and silliness is part of it all, fine but when I tell them to stop or calm down they can't seem to! I have 3 - ages 9, 7 and 4. The 4yo tends to show off and the other two laugh, and it gets worse from there. Sometimes a piece of food will get thrown, sometimes food played with, or they'll burp (and do it loudly). They'd never do any of this if they were at their gramdmas house. They all behave well at school, and individually they're good, but when they're all together at times like this I just feel like whatever I do it makes no effing difference. Tonight I've had to send 2 of them out to sit on the stairs. I'm close to tears. What can I do to make them take me seriously and at least have some manners at the table????

You will have to be really strict and basically if they can't sit and eat dinner they are not that hungry and dinner's over. We had this with DS a bit when he was younger and we ended up having a few meals where he got down and his dinner got thrown out (usually gave home something else later if he was still hungry and only did this a handful of times).

Make tea a team effort.
The 4 yo can get plates /cutlery and the others can help make a menu /prepare some ingredients. Ime a joint effort has a massive positive effect on table behaviour, even if it takes longer!!
Clearing away and dishes too!
*I have 4 dc at tea times - 4/9/11+12

Aprilshowersnowastorm I do actually make them set the table, bring their plates in/clear the table etc. But no I don't get them to help me make it- it can be tricky with 3- I find mine argue over who gets to do what so how do you manage fighting over that?

Thisisnotarealavo I have threatened to do this but never actually done it- I couldn't bear to throw out all their dinner -what a waste! but I agree something has to be done.

It's just when all of them are together. We do have a points system where they can earn points (or lose them) and at the end of the week they'll get a reward. Perhaps I should have taken a load of points off (I completely forgot!) but sometimes even that isn't a deterrent they usually don't realise the consequences until the end of the week when they haven't got enough points for their treat

I'm in the same boat! Don't have any advice sorry but keen to hear others'.
I'm trying to enjoy my meal and really don't want to have to keep telling the children off for bickering etc. I do implement no pudding if behaviours not good enough. That works a bit.
I also find if they're hungry (but not over hungry!) they will focus on eating a bit more and the whole thing is over quicker.

I assume that some of the joking around is pleasant but it then gets out of control so you are looking for suggestions to stop the behavior before it becomes unpleasant rather then stop it altogether.

How about having a signal and means ‘now we stop and are quiet”. So when you’ve had enough you put your hand up and are silent, then the kids have to raise a hand and be silent until you lower your hand. You could offer a reward to the first child to notice you have your hand raised and react by being quiet.