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Parenting

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Original poster

3 year old/almost 1 year old sharing room - safe?

28 replies

brookshelley · 19/09/2018 09:59

DD1 is 3 next month, DD2 is 1 in November. They sleep in separate rooms at the moment but we have always planned to have them share, even though we have 3 bedrooms.

However I read something in an article saying it's potentially dangerous to have a toddler and baby sharing because the toddler might put blankets on the baby's face or something like that. Is this a serious concern? I'd never considered it before. Baby will be in a cot with high sides and DD1 has already moved into a single bed with a safety rail so can get in and out on her own.

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Havetothink · 19/09/2018 15:43

Following as I'd like to hear answers. We would have baby monitors so should notice if there's movement but I am concerned about baby being in with a toddler.

SnuggyBuggy · 19/09/2018 15:45

Wouldn't they disturb each other?

Choirofangles · 19/09/2018 15:47

We’ve been doing this for a few months. The children are now 3 and a bit, and 11 months. No safety issues so far, just the baby waking the toddler up every few nights. Sometimes she can sleep through bloodcurdling shrieking and sometimes she wakes if he sighs quietly.

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villainousbroodmare · 19/09/2018 15:47

I'm dreadfully casual but I'd hesitate to put a 3yo in with a 1yo. I'd be concerned about innocent things like trying to lift the baby up, excessively tight hugs or maybe 'feeding' her something.

SoyDora · 19/09/2018 15:49

Moved ours in together then DD1 was nearly 2, nearly 3 and DD2 had just turned 1. DD2 was in a cot (although moved into a bed a couple of months later) and DD1 was in a single bed.
It was absolutely fine. They didn’t disturb each other as both were asleep. It wouldn’t have even occurred to me that DD1 would put blankets on DD2’s face, why would she?

SoyDora · 19/09/2018 15:52

My 2/3 year old knew not to interfere with her younger sister, and DD2 has now just turned 3 and would never try and pick a baby up/feed it (we didn’t have any food or milk in bedrooms anyway) or otherwise touch a baby without an adult there who had explicitly told her she could, so maybe depends on the child.

PenApple · 19/09/2018 15:53

My 2 shared from 6months & 2.5 years with no issues. We had the monitor so could hear it the eldest was out of bed, they didn’t reallt disturb each other iirc.

TonnoEMaionese · 19/09/2018 15:54

Mine did - in fact they shared a bed (we co-slept with both of them). We did try separate beds, but they ended up climbing in with each other all the time anyway, so we embraced the chance to have a second guest queen bed instead.

DS2 was very capable at 1 though (well, I guess 14-16 months when he went in with his brother) - there's no way DS1 could have put a blanket on him - in fact I generally had to rescue DS1 because DS2 had a habit of sleeping draped over people, and DS1 would be overheating when I popped my head round the door as I went to bed!

They're now 8 and 5, still share a bed (we had a different house for a bit where they had separate beds in the same room, but now they're back in a double together - not our furniture) - DS2 is still a bed hog, so I'm looking forward to them being back in separate beds, but they're both fine with sharing too.

In fact, we've been trying to suggest to DS2 that perhaps in the next house he might have his own room, but he can't get his head around that idea at all, so that might have to wait a couple more years.

SoyDora · 19/09/2018 15:57

Yeah, my one year old was more likely to go and get into the 3 year olds bed and sleep next to her than anything else.

Toomanycats99 · 19/09/2018 16:02

I put my 3 month old in with my Just turned 4 year old and it never even crossed my mind to be concerned......

GummyGoddess · 19/09/2018 16:08

No I wouldn't, dc1 likes to put muslins on dc2, try and feed him, cuddle him, stroke him, etc. He doesn't mean any harm but I wouldn't trust any toddler to be left with a baby overnight as they are unpredictable and have poor impulse control.

GreenMeerkat · 19/09/2018 16:10

I put DD2 in with DD1 when she was almost 2. DD1 was 3.5.

SoyDora · 19/09/2018 16:14

When my toddlers were in bed they were asleep. It would have been completely out of character to wake up in the night and wander around in the dark without coming to wake me up or shouting. It would have been even more out of character to seek out a muslin or anything in their dark bedroom and put it over their siblings face, if they could even have reached into the cot (I have no idea as they never tried). It would have been completely bizarre for them to wake up, get out of bed, go downstairs to find some milk/food then go and try and feed their baby sibling in the dark.
You know your child. Ours were completely fine so I’m glad it was something that I never worried about!

scrivette · 19/09/2018 16:38

I am considering putting baby DD in with her 3 year old brother too, my only concern would be DS waking DD as she sleeps so badly anyway.

youaremyrain · 19/09/2018 18:27

My older sister shared with me when I was a baby. On various occasions she fed me liquorice, "shampooed" my hair and let me out of my cot for a wander (I was found at the top of the stairs)
It was the 70s, my parents' reaction was "meh" and we continued sharing a room.
Reader, I survived.

youaremyrain · 19/09/2018 18:27

The age gap was the same, two years

PotteringAlong · 19/09/2018 18:29

My 3 and 1 year old share, in bunk beds no less rather than a cot, without a bother.

Rach000 · 19/09/2018 18:48

Youaremyrain - similar to me and my sister but I was the older one. Me and my sister used to share a room. I was in a bed and she was in a cot. So I used to push the cot against my bed, get it and pick her up and drop her onto the bed so we could play. She was fine... She wouldn't have been a tiny baby at that stage, probably about 1.
We are going to put our 2 in the same room eventually but maybe when youngest is nearly 2 as there is no rush yet.

Mindchilder · 19/09/2018 18:52

I had my 3 month old in with my 3 (almost 4) year old. 3 year old went to bed first and slept like a log, 3 month old woke early. 3 year old couldn't have reached into the cot anyway.

Bowerbird5 · 19/09/2018 18:55

I had my 3 yr old and 10 mth old in same room. No problems.

Pythonesque · 19/09/2018 18:56

Mine were together from 6 months and just 3, until the younger one was 5. Worked beautifully from the start, and the main reason to separate them was when the then 8 yr old wanted to read in bed later, and the 5 yr old was still an early morning waker.

KarrisWhiteOak · 19/09/2018 19:00

My Dd is 3 and planning to put her brother on the bottom bunk in her room when he’s some where around the year mark.
I expect she’ll join him as the bottoms a double. I think they’ll love it but I’ll be assessing him closer to the time to see if can get of bed safe rather than face planting the floor as her do now, only 10m old but that’s my only worry really.

RatRolyPoly · 19/09/2018 19:03

Exactly the same for us as Soydora. 1 year old and 3 year old in together. If the 3 year old wakes up he comes into our room. He has a duvet which, well, why would he give it his sister? He'd have to start rooting through cupboards to find anything else to put in the cot! Anyway, before we moved them in together he'd get up in the night and climb into her cot with her where we'd find them both in the morning. So really this is loads safer.

LakeOfDreams · 19/09/2018 19:12

I've never even thought twice about having them in together. They've probably shared a room since the baby was about 9 months so the toddler would have not long turned 2. They've shared for nearly a year now and very occasionally the little one wakes in the night and sings so the big one will come in my bed and complain her sister is making noise.

I don't have anything in their room though, just the bed, the cot, the duvet and pillow on the 3 yo bed and the toddler still sleeps in a grobag thing. I've never worried about her doing anything to the baby whilst they are asleep

LonelyOversharer · 19/09/2018 19:12

My dd2 and dd3 have always shared a room, so from about 8 months and 29 months respectively. Sometimes there isn't another bedroom! They still share. They have the largest bedroom (now 10 & 12).

It would never have occurred to any of my dc to inadvertently murder each other in their sleep! In fact it would have been much easier for slightly older dd1 to walk through from her room to tamper with her siblings...but she never did.

They all share/laugh/fight like cats now, depending on their moods.

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