Adult son unemployed, unambitious, bored

[janman60]

My adult son (26) is living at home with us and I'm always worried about him. He dropped out of uni as he had a nervous breakdown but didn't want to go back. He's clearly intelligent but has nothing to show for it.

He spends almost his whole time shut away in his room, reading, and he occasionally goes for a walk. He's had a couple of jobs in the past few years but hasn't particularly enjoyed them - he's not a sociable person and finds that aspect very difficult! He doesn't seem keen on any of he local volunteering places.

In addition, he got into a bit of trouble with the police a few years back - and left a mark on his DBS to do with children.

I'm at a loss as to how to help him. His family loves him, but he has no friends. He's also no longer that young - most people his age have some kind of career by now, even if they don't intend to stick with it permanently.

Does anybody know what I can do? I would really appreciate some help!!

What type of books does he read in general?

Before recommending anything specific, have you had a sit down chat with him about what his own plan is? What did he say?

I second pp's question, what has he said when you've spoken to him about it? A frank conversation about it, what his plans are and how you can help are needed. He can't rely on your support forever, as you are well aware, so talking about how he can contribute (a little towards food bills for example) when he does work might be an angle you can take.
Without knowing too much it sounds like he needs a bit of a push, he's not going to improve socially if he just stays in his room and doesn't try and won't improve his mental health either. Volunteering is an excellent idea, there are a million different opportunities and there would be something to suit him. I volunteered doing social media for a charity when I was unemployed. Got me out of the house, wasn't too taxing and looked good on my cv rather than having a huge gap.

If it helps any, I'm 26 and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

I hit the "Post" button too early - whoops!

Your son sounds a lot like my brother, he's still at home with our parents, no job, no social life. Has your son any mental health issues? Depression or anxiety could be holding him back. It can become a bit of a cycle then, with him choosing to be alone because of anxiety maybe, but then becoming depressed as he's alone all the time. That's what we've found with my brother.

Unfortunately I've no advice to offer, I'm going to keep an eye on this thread myself to see if anyone has advice that does help.

If he got inot the police and this is on his DBS, companies may njot be keen for him to volunteer with them.

Sit down and talk to him. Say that everyone needs to do some kind of job, for money and self esteem, he's not contributing, and what are his plans?

Brain storm them together. Look what what he likes doing and what he hates doing. Maybe get a big sheet of paper and do a spider diagram on it.

I agree with talking about his MH to rule out any underlying anxiety/depression.