Hello, my ds's father has always wanted to be seen as the nice one to my ds, we are very different and have had issues in the past with him and his family spoiling my ds (but to the point he used to come home behaving badly and would take a couple of days to calm down). I pick my battles with him, but the real issue at the moment is that he has no concept of bed time, he has him on a Saturday, and every single Sunday my ds is glassy eyed and moody, he wants spend most Sundays on the sofa. I used to have my ds every weekend all weekend and we live in an area with loads to do, we used to have nice weekends, but now when he gets back from dad's I'll let him chill out for a couple of hours, make lunch, then I'll suggest going out with his bike or scooter/ going to the park or seafront for a play and he'll screw up his face and fake cry, everything other than watching tv or playing on my kindle seems like a massive chore to him. He's only 6, I don't think he should spend his weekend playing nintendo all Saturday, then watching tv all Sunday, I feel like I can't enjoy him any more.
The thing that upsets me the most is that on a few occasions now he has let slip that he is not supposed to tell me he stayed up late, on his birthday (which was a tues) his dad took him on a big day out on the weekend, I sent him in good form after a proper sleep, then he had him for a family meal on the Mon (was a bank hol) and he knew my special thing for him was to take him and a few friends trampolining after school the next day, he had all fucking afternoon to take him for a meal and home to bed for the next (school) day, the next day we met up for breakfast before school as a treat, my ds was crying the whole time that he was tired and didn't want to go to school. When his dad went to the counter he told me that he was not supposed to tell me he stayed up late, the day was ruined and my one (expensive) treat for him that afternoon was trashed because ds was not in the mood for the trampolining, didn't want the pizza, was keeping himself on the outside of his friends who were there and went home saying he didn't really enjoy it because he didn't get to play with his friends, even tho he excluded himself as he wasn't in the mood! Then fast forward to summer hols, we didn't go away this year, so ds wanted to go to a show which was touring and coming to our local theatre, I got tickets (not cheap) for him, my friends dd and me. My friends dd was round to play all that day and staying over for ds's very first sleep over it was arranged for months and he was excited, anyways he spent the whole day crying on and off as he had been at his dad's the two nights before and got home that morning knackered, I had told his dad we had special plans and asked him as a favour if ds could have a normal bed time the day before, ds told me he stayed up until 10, but he was supposed to tell me he went to bed at 6. I'm so pissed off that he's teaching my kid to lie to me and that he has no respect for my time with him. He text me that night to ask how the show went, I said he was knackered and crying on and off all day, he said 'I don't know why he went to bed at 7' I'm sick of being lied to, I didn't even respond there's no point when the other person will just swear blind he is telling the truth and that my ds is lying. Is there anything I can do for my own sanity? My ds sees me cross and thinks I'm cross with him, which makes me feel shit.