Should I let DD drink at Christmas

[motherofteen2]

I know Christmas is a while away but can I let my DD drink at Christmas. Not vodka (not until she's a lot older won't make her wait until 18 but defiantly not now but I mean like a Alcopop or light beer after a large meal on Christmas Eve (we always eat too much from the local Chinese). She's gonna be 15 in late February. Not sure yet wanted to get a tone of opinions this is just one of my many sources. I'd rather she drinks at home with me less than 2 feet away than on a street corner chugging cheap spirits

I wouldn't. I don't think teenagers need any encouragement to drink alcohol. You are normalizing something that can be incredibly damaging. I always had a no alcohol rule until my DC were at least 17, I am not stupid I know they dabbled before that. I have 3 adult DC now, 2 can take it or leave it, the other doesn't drink at all. In their teens they made sure they at least appeared sober when they got home, so they didn't over do it. My teenage DD has just turned 15 and i won't be offering her alcohol either, and she wouldn't dream of asking.

Ok defiantly staying away from alcopops wouldn't even drink them myself they're vile. She doesn't want to drink to excess but when the rest of us are drinking for say New Years she wants to be a part of it I'm not 100% sure but I'm feeling it's more of wanting a small glass of something to join in on a family celebration than to feel the buzz alcohol creates

My sister and I were allowed a small beer from around the age of 12. I'm a very occasional social drinker, my sister is an alcoholic.

There was a bbc article about 5 months on research into teenagers drinking with. The general finds where that teenagers who drank moderately with family were MORE LIKELY to drink to excess.

Why do you think letting her drink at home at 14 will stop her drinking in the street or at parties with her friends? Sorry OP doesn't work like that even although many people seem to think it does.
I don't see a problem with it tbh but if she's going to go out and get drunk with her friends, you letting her drink in the house won't stop her deciding to do that.

I wouldn't have a problem with that if she wants to try. A small amount in a home environment is probably a good, safe way for her to satisfy her curiosity about alcohol.

I don't think it really matters. Some people drink young and don't like booze, some people become dependant.
It depends on the person and the way their life goes, no if they had a WKD aged 15.

We were allowed a small glass of wine or beer in the early eighties from about 13 onwards so I would say yes, no problem.

I don't think it really matters. Some people drink young and don't like booze, some people become dependant.
Agreed. My parents took the sensible attitude to booze and I ended up with a life-threatening drink problem, whereas my brother has always been nearly teetotal.

I wouldn't. My ds is 13 and there is no way I would introduce him to alcohol. Of course, we don't have it in the house anyway. He has no curiosity but I recognise we will have to cross that bridge at some point.

I totally agree it’s lots of factors that cause alcoholism, but surely it’s better to have an open environment where it isn’t taboo. For me because of the way my parents handled it I felt able to tell my parents “I’m went to a party with drink and drugs there and I...”, I didn’t feel I had to hide anything and was able to get their support when I made mistakes or had questions about stuff. But then I suppose that’s the sort of relationship I had with my parents as a whole, having a relaxed attitude to alcohol was just part of it.

I had friends whoes parents were strict about everything and the positions they put themselves in because of trying to hide that was scary looking back. I never hesitated to call my dad and say I’m sorry I’m drunk and have spent all my money can you collect me (once, never happened again!) whereas I had friends accepting lifts of strangers or walking home miles in the dark. As a parent now I know which situation I would rather my child be in :)

Personally, no, it just normalises the idea that alcohol is an essential part of any celebration and 14 is way too young.

Anecdotally, my parents were v strict about me drinking due to problem drinking in the wider family. They drank v little themselves, again having see what it could do.My friends whose parents let them drink at home/wine with dinner etc are all heavy drinkers now, those of us with strict parents aren't.

Studies all suggest that drinking at home makes children more likely to drink, not less.

The whole 'be like the french' idea is bollocks- French people don't drink to excess because culturally it's not the norm, not because it is also culturally the norm to have a small amount of alcohol at home from fairly young. Their whole culture is about appreciating the taste and not drinking to excess.

In the U.K., the norm among late teens/early twenties is binge drinking: slowly introducing your teen to a watered down glass of wine with Sunday lunch will normalise alcohol for them, it's not going to make them take a stand at Emily's 16th birthday and say 'oh I know you've made all these jelly shots but maybe we should just have half a glass of this Cabernet Sauvignon with our dominos instead.'

DS1 is 15 and is allowed a fruity cider at special occasions. He only ever has the one.

I was allowed alcohol at the same age and I rarely drink now 20odd years later.

I don't know what side is right TBH. Everyone's saying the opposite of the last post and I know on this post someone will most likely say their opinion is right. I've decided I'll give her a drink since I know from experience and from people I know personally and trust that even though it doesn't completely wipe out the chance it does make it less likely she'll drink heavily. Does anyone ever think that maybe the parents who's kids underage drink just don't care about their kids. I know all the ones that I know that do it have very cold and uncaring parents. I'd like to say I'm not this and I will enjoy a drink with my daughter and show her alcohol isn't as fancy as everyone says and it can be something you can have once in a while

does anyone ever think that maybe the parents who's kids underage drink just don't care about their kids no I would never think that. Most teens drink underage at some point, and I know parents who are in despair that their child has been drinking/got drunk. You think if you drink with your child it means you care more than people who don't? How very peculiar.

I grew up in a non drinking household. I asked my mum once to buy me alcopops when I was 15 to go to a friends house, as everyone else's parents were letting them have a couple of drinks to watch a horror film (parents were going to be there)
She didn't let me have any in the end after much umming and ahhing and said I was too young.
I ended up alcohol dependent throughout most of my adult life and have only managed to get clean recently. (Will be a full year on Friday!) 🙌🏼
Just wanted to show that not letting, or in fact letting your child drink alcohol shouldn't impact on their drinking in years to come. I think we make our own choices in the end.

I remember being younger than that when my parents would let us have a dribble of vodka in our Irn Bru at New Year. Always made me feel terribly grown up.

I don't see much harm in it, better that that to treat it like so terrible taboo, I think.

Yes. My parents allowed us to have a glass of wine with Christmas dinner and on birthdays younger than this. (It was the 90's though and every parent was terrible then apparently!) I believe that it did help us to have a sensible attitude towards alcohol.

Many British people have very odd attitudes to alcohol, either binge-drinking excess or sanctimonious, moralising abstinence.

The French & Italians have got it right, and we have got it very badly wrong. Alcohol is something to be enjoyed in moderation, not abused. We should learn from them.

Introducing teenagers to a small amount of wine or beer, if they want it, in the context of a family occasion is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

I would. I was always allowed a small amount of alcohol at home as a child, and thus as an older teen / adult I've never felt the need to go overboard with drinking. At nearly 40, I probably drink no more than 5 units in an average month.
I let my primary school aged children have a sip of wine / beer if they ask as I don't feel it's healthy for them to see alcohol as forbidden. By 14 most teens are adult-sized so I don't think there's much of a health concern.

I'd let a 13 year old but I found it uncomfortable when my ILS used to badger my dcs to drink at Christmas when they were young saying they always gave dh a watered down wine at Xmas. None of the dcs ever wanted to but god FIL used to bang on about it. The dcs were more excited about having a coke tbh