A third child?!?

[Peach2018]

I am very lucky, I have a boy who is 5 and a girl who is 3 and they are both amazing kids, but I can't help feeling like I'd love a 3rd. The idea of a big family is like a dream, and I know it would be hard work but I'm all for it. My husband isn't very 'hands on' with the children and house and also isn't keen on having a 3rd.

Is this a phase and will I feel differently in a few months or do I bite the bullet and decide that's what I want?!

This goes around in my head so much, I'm an over thinker at the best of times but I just don't know what will be for the best.

Any advice or people's previous experiences will be much appreciated!!
Thanks x

Me and my DH agonised over this for ages! In the end we went to couples’ counselling to chat it all through- which actually massively improved our relationship in general too. I’m now 16wks pregnant with no3 and we’re both over the moon! All the worries we had seem to have evaporated. The kids are really excited too. (Baby’s not actually here yet though, so I’m sure the worries about money/ space/ time/ tiredness etc will come flooding back to us when they are!)

@Hermagsjesty oh wow that's amazing congratulations! How old are your other children? I think if it happened we would both be happy (more so me) My husband would definitely get his head around it and be happy about it I'm sure and the children would love a brother or sister! It's just the unknown isn't it 😬

What are you doing for contraception at the moment, out of interest?

I was in the same boat and we decided to do it. The leap from 2 to 3 is so much more difficult than the leap from 1 to 2, BUT it’s amazing how much the other two want to be involved and honestly I wouldn’t change it. I’m excited for when it gets easier. I’d love a fourth but honestly I don’t think I could do that! Lol

That niggle won't go away until you actually do it I'm afraid!!! What swung it for me was asking older friends and colleagues who had two what made them stop and without exception anyone who considered a 3rd and didn't do it regretted it later on. When you are done you know you are done!

@LyndaLaHughes ahh thank you for your advice! I do feel when I get older I will regret not having a third, we just have a really good little balance in our family at the moment I don't want to upset it, but I can't help but feel one more would be perfect for us 😬🙈

@FranticallyPeaceful thank you for replying, ahh you make me so excited to have a third!

My DC are the roughly the same age as yours. I would love to be pregnant again, love to snuggle a newborn, love to parent a toddler and child - but I am not sure I can stand 6 - 18 months of sleep deprivation.

We looked after our 19 month old DN this weekend, she was awake for hours both nights and I am subsequently a total wreck (and therefore not a good mother!).

Both ours were terrible sleepers and the thought of going through it again fills me with dread. Partly because I would lose so much of myself, but also because I worry I would be much less present for my current DC.

But on the other hand, I just don’t feel done. I want a third child.

@CertainSlant oh blimey 🙈 I remember those days! I don't think I'll stop feeling like this unless I have a 3rd, 3 children just seems like a big family these days!

I have 3 and I know that feeling.
I would honestly question yourself if your husband isn't keen and doesn't do his fair share already how are your existing children going to be affected? My eldest two are often left to it far to much.
How will your relationship cope with an extra child? number 3 has pushed our very strong relationship to the edge at times.
I wouldn't change my kids for the world but I would seriously consider your rational before you jump into anything.

How old are you OP?

I could have written your post word for word, but I'm 38 and really worried about having another at this age.

We might survive a 3rd baby, but if he or she had additional needs, am not sure if we'd have the reserves for that.

It's a really hard decision.

@FacelikeaBagofHammers I'm 25, I just wouldn't want to leave to big of age gap between a new baby and my children.

It's such a hard decision isn't it because it will affect the whole family!

The way my husband sees it is things are starting to get a bit easier with the two children we have, why would we want to back track and do it all over again 😳

@Sickoffamilydrama I do think if we had a third, once they were here my husband would definitely change his mind, and I'm sure they'd be the apple of his eye as he is the biggest softy when it comes to babies! I think the way he sees it is life is getting easier with our two children we have, why would we want to go through it again.

When we first started talking about having children we both agreed a big family was important to us, after the 2nd we thought we were done as things were tough but over the last few months the thought of having a 3rd has heavily lingered. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing him into it.

I get what you saying OP it is a hard decision.
It's so easy to be ruled by the heart as well, which was us.
I don't mean to sound negative more realistic, good luck

@Sickoffamilydrama ahh it's hard to know what to do for the best! Life is more practical with 2, but I can't help but want a 3rd 😬😫