3 week old won’t sleep

[CJ1990]

Hi ladies,

Just after some advise. My 3 week old will not sleep on her own. She sleeps great being held or in our bed, but as soon as we put her into her crib she goes mad and wakes up. It was ok before husband went back to work as we could share the load but now he’s back at work it’s so hard. Getting no sleep at night or in the day :( I don’t want to co-sleep, but it is a next to me crib I have. I’ve tried putting her in it when she’s half sleepy, in a deep sleep, tried the husbands t-shirt in it. Confused as sometimes she does sleep in it if being cuddled, but some nights not at all! Desperate for just a few hours of sleep!

Totally normal OP. Babies want to be held. I co-slept with both of mine, they were never in a cot.

Google 4th trimester. Also, could you buy a sling/move wrap so you can keep her close for naps etc?

https://m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/sarah-ockwellsmith/fourth-trimester-newbornsbb9607642.html?guccounter=1&gucereferrerrus=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvLnVrLw&gucereferrerr_cs=mliIVSD28nLOSAN5rz1AbQ

Unfortunately this is pretty normal. Have you got a sleepyhead? They are expensive but our baby started having naps in there and that meant I could sleep when she slept during the day. My mum also let me nap when she came round and held her, which helped. Do you have a family member that could help?

Haven’t got a sleepy head - may look into that! :)

It’s strange, sometimes I think we’ve cracked it and other times it’s a nightmare. Find myself dreading night time approaching..!

Yea luckily I have family that can help but not loads. I just hate looking after her in the day on my own when I’m so tierd - it scares me! We end up taking shifts where one of us takes her downstairs so the other can get some sleep but I worry that’s not teaching her night and day, and we can only do it at weekends now hubby is back to work. But it’s the only way we get any sort of sleep!

Exactly what ShackUp said.

It's hard IP but it is really normal. She needs you close right now, look at fourth trimester as pp have said. She's too young to be learning about night and day or to be learning 'bad' habits, just do what you can to get through the day. I second a sling, it was great for us. You can't sleep with her in it but at least she will and you can have a cup of tea, go for a wee etc

OP - did you google 4th trimester/look at slings? It really is a good solution.

With DS1:
He slept on a tempur pillow in his Moses basket. But before we put him in, we'd heat it up using a hair dryer. Once we gently placed ds1 in, we'd have to rock it until he was fast asleep.
My goodness, ds1 really was the pfb!

With DS2:
Placed him in his cot, walked away, and let him cry it out (less than 10 minutes and he had been fed/nappy changed).

Google the 5 S's - from memory - swaddle, suck, side, swing and....? This is supposed to be the magic cure in the fourth trimester. Personally was hit and miss for us but worth a try. Also Google baby sleep cycles. I shall be looking this up again myself soon, but basically you wait until they go through x amount of sleep cycles before putting them down. I found that it worked mostly if I got it bang on.

Hang on in there. I promise it won't last forever. Am assuming baby isn't hungry? The only other time I couldn't put them down is if they were actually hungry but not letting on until I tried to put them down.

Totally normal! Please don't let your tiny newborn cry it out as someone suggested.
I second the sleepyhead, it was a life saver for us.

Sometimes it is hunger. She’s tounge tied and they can’t fix it for another week (three week waiting list :( ) so feeding can be tricky for her. but other times she just wants cuddles. Not complaing in the day :)

Thanks for the advise. I have just read the link about the fourth trimester - very interesting! Sounds like I’m expecting a little too much and the moment. Definately not one to let her cry out yet so won’t be doing that. Hopefully in a few more weeks she’ll settle a bit better..:)

It'll get better eventually - it can be a gradual process or you'll find suddenyl it'll just happen, but eventually she'll be able to sleep on her own. It took about 5 months with my first to finally get him to sleep(in his bouncer - not ideal, obvs). Then another few months to get him to sleep finally in his cot. Then another few years for him to sleep through the night. My middle one took just a few weeks, my third a few months until she'd sleep in her cot on her own. You do what you can and what the baby needs - right now she just loves the comfort of being with you. It won't be forever, don't worry (though it's hard to think through the sleep deprevation to even consider a time sans baby on you lol)

Please read the advice about sleepyheads from the Lullaby trust before considering the recommendations for them