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Help me not feel guilty

3 replies

buffysummers4 · 14/09/2018 17:16

I will try not to write an essay... I have one just started school and a 1 yr old. I went back to work after first very part time and just about broke even with nursery fees compared to staying at home. I can't do the same this time for various reasons. I have just got a new role which is done from home but while I'm getting the hang of it I know it will take me longer than it should so I will need to book extra nursery time. This plus having to pay professional fees which are fixed regardless of hours worked means that I will make a small loss to the household compared with staying at home, at least for this year. We can afford it and I think it will be worth it as although it's initially a temporary contract i am quite hopeful it will lead to more family friendly work. And in 2 years younger one will get his funding and I might actually make a profit!! I am feeling bad about husband essentially subsidising me going to work but it's a lot easier to get a job when you've already got one and also my self esteem has taken quite a hit during maternity leave both times and I need to work for my sanity. However getting a higher paid job is not straightforward as I live rurally and husband works long and unpredictable hours (and earns a lot more than me before anyone suggests him being a sahd or something). Has anyone else done something similar?? I really hope it will be worth it in the long run but I feel like I should be grateful for going to work, can't moan about having a busy day or whatever. The guilt is largely in my head - husband is fairly indifferent as long as he doesn't have to deal with kids all weekend while I work. So just looking for some reassurance that I shouldn't feel terrible every time the nursery bill arrives!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
buffysummers4 · 14/09/2018 17:34

Sorry that did turn into an essay after all!

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Havetothink · 15/09/2018 04:21

It's not easy getting back into work after children, if dh is happy to help you get going that can only be a good thing. I'm the long run I'm sure it will benefit you all as a family so no need to feel guilty in the short term Smile

buffysummers4 · 15/09/2018 19:05

Yes although there's no guarantees I very much hope this will be a good thing in the long term. I feel a bit calmer about it now - if we wanted to save money then I could work at the weekends instead of one of the nursery days so it's partly husband's choice that he would rather pay more childcare than have hectic weekends. So I need to remember that too.

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