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Parenting

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Original poster

Sat here sobbing

17 replies

hospbear · 14/09/2018 08:55

DD2 has always been wilful but I'm seriously at the end of my tether and am sat here sobbing. She is almost 6 and her behaviour is terrible, rude, awful to her older sister.

We employ usual punishments no screen etc. Nothing has an effect. But this morning I'm broken, every morning for the past two week we have had horrendous tantrums over getting dressed - screaming crying hitting kicking - beyond horrendous. I'm shamed to say I snapped this morning and smacked her, am so angry with myself but I've been pushed to my limits.

Has anyone gone through similar - any advice?

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SodTheBloodyLotOfThem · 14/09/2018 08:57

What sets her off?
What is her diet and sleep schedule like? Does she get much fresh air and exercise?
What is your daily routine?
Does she get much (any) one on one time with her parents?

SodTheBloodyLotOfThem · 14/09/2018 08:58

And what has changed in the last 2 weeks? What is her behaviour like at school, does she like her teacher and have friends?

Seeline · 14/09/2018 08:59

If she won't get dressed, bung her school clothes in a bag and she can go to school in her pj's.

As for the rest - consistency with boundaries and consequences. Don't try and engage mid-tantrum. Have you tried time out to let her (and you) calm down? There is no reasoning with a tantruming child.

Try not to be too hard on your self - we all have our limits, yours was reached today.

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CottonSock · 14/09/2018 09:00

Poor you. I would likely have snapped too.
We were having morning issues and started a tick chart, it has a drawing of the 6 things needed to do. Teeth, dressed, toilet, breakfast, etc. It did really help, but mine likes that kind of thing. There were rewards for implementing

Spreadingcudweed · 14/09/2018 09:08

Sympathies op

I remember getting very frustrated with DD when she was 4/5 yrs and mucking around in the morning.

The chart is a good idea because it gives them more autonomy. Does she get dressed by herself?

aperolspritzplease · 14/09/2018 09:12

Have had a battle of wills all week with dts about getting dressed. Told them this morning I wasn't telling them again, if they weren't dressed they could go in their pjs and I wasn't talking to them until they were dressed. It seemed to work and I didn't lose my voice hollering at them.

Original poster

hospbear · 14/09/2018 09:17

Thanks all, I do put some of it down to back to School tiredness. Plenty of fresh air and exercise. Maybe more one on one time might help. Behaviour at school is fine, better than done really good. Just don't know where I am going wrong at home

OP posts:

SodTheBloodyLotOfThem · 14/09/2018 09:43

After school restraint collapse is a thing. Sounds like she might be a little anxious?

Can you get her up a bit earlier, and have a checklist of things that need to.be done and a timer? Like, breakfast gets 20 minutes, dressing 10, teeth 5, and there's 20 minutes to chill/play before setting out? Lots of cuddles, praise any good behaviour no matter how small.

madeyemoodysmum · 14/09/2018 09:45

Sleep and diet first and screen time
Then try a reward chart but stick to it. The carrot has to be worth it tho.

Consistency and seeing through consequences is key.

My dd was very difficult too.

Original poster

hospbear · 14/09/2018 20:49

sod that is helpful but I'm not sure it explains the terrible mornings. Sigh - I need to resume the reward chart and be consistent thanks for all the helpful comments

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 14/09/2018 20:52

I like the bit about sending them to school in their PJ's. I would never have thought of that.

PurpleDaisies · 14/09/2018 20:54

What will happen when she gets to school? They won’t take her in pyjamas.

Yogagirl123 · 14/09/2018 20:56

Sorry you have had a rubbish day. My youngest son was very challenging as a young child, their was no reasoning with him at all, he’s now 15 and an absolute sweetheart, hang in there OP, it will get better.

BerriesandLeaves · 14/09/2018 21:11

I found the book Divas and Dictators great for dealing with my dd who was a very strong willed. It's an easy read

BBCK · 14/09/2018 21:39

You poor thing. I remember this from when my children were young. I have never felt such rage as when they literally refused to get ready on time, even though I had to get to work. Those mornings were often not my finest hour as a parent.

MyOtherProfile · 15/09/2018 10:03

Have you talked to her about what is going on? In my experience communication and relationship work better than punishment. Take her out for hot chocolate, ask her how things are going, find out if she is struggling with anything. Talk to her about how hard you are finding the mornings and what can you all do to make ort work better. Then calmly explain thst there will be consequences if it carries on as is.

cactusplant · 15/09/2018 13:05

5 is the worst age in my opinion.
All of the things they pick up in school, the giddiness and pushing boundaries, the lack of maturity, it's not my favourite stage and I'm sure you are doing your best.

Focus on positivity where you can and rewarding her with hugs and praise ect.

And go and hide in the kitchen with a pimms and a twirl for 5 minutes like the rest of us

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