6 year old too affectionate with friends?

[blackstar1980]

I have a really affectionate 6yo son and love him to bits exactly as he is, but I do worry sometimes that his behaviour towards his school friends is going to lead to the other kids making fun of him before long.

He regularly tells his friends at school he loves them and often he'll hug/try to kiss them and most of them look uncomfortable when this happens and none reciprocate.

I've talked to him about boundaries when this happens but it doesn't seem to change his behaviour. I'm wondering if I need to take more drastic action.

I really don't want to curb his affectionate instincts but I know that very soon these boys are going to go from just feeling a bit uncomfortable to making fun of him about it. I'd hate for him to lose friends over this - generally he's a popular boy but I know lately one friend in particular has been shutting him out, and I worry that this is the reason.

Interested to hear other people's views.

@YeTalkShiteHen

My comment of warning my son was to show the contrast to the posters saying it doesn't matter, he can learn in his own time and there's no need to teach him to stop.

My kid loves being cuddled by family, but is really funny about being touched by others. We are working on finding ways for him to open up, but at the end of the day he simply doesn't want to be in school and have another kid trying to cuddle him. But he hates upsetting people, so he would allow it to happen but feel really unhappy. My warning to my son is "don't worry about upsetting them, they need to learn that when you say no they need to stop". So the OP may feel happier with the parents who say that it's fine, but she needs to know there are other parents telling their kids that it is not fine and advising them to speak up and say no.

But a child being told no by their friend may find it upsetting; I'd much rather the parents dealt with that than leave it to be sorted by an argument in the playground.

Spacezombies I did actually think the rest of your comment was really good, just the warning part read really badly. I’d have been upset by that too, so I can see why OP was.

BUT I completely agree with everything else you said.

Even now as an adult I get very uncomfortable around overly affectionate people. If the other kids don't want to be constantly hugged and kissed he needs to stop. You need to drill it into him that if people say no then he has to listen.

And im sure her son would find it more upsetting if another kid is having a bad day and its the last straw and they shout at him.

It's not nice, but I'm pretty certain there are kids at the school who have been told to just say no and walk away from him.

It's much less upsetting for his parents to actually hear how the parents of children with sensitivity to this will be reacting; and that is to tell our kids that they absolutely need to stand up for themselves and their own personal space. His mum can deal with it knowing that whilst she wants to be understand to her son, she should be prepared that other kids might soon stop understanding.

Absolutely Spacezombies, I completely agree.

I agree space Warning your kids about etc is maybe a bit harsh, but I and probably lots of other parents, whose child had come home upset because someone a) keeps hugging, kissing, touching them, or b (worse) has got into trouble for making said kid cry because they’ve had enough of being touched/kissed/hugged will almost definitely Have said :
keep away from them then,
find someone else to play with,
tell them very clearly not to touch you and if they do then tell a teacher.

If you don’t want your child’s friendships to suffer as you stated in your op, then perhaps you should consider this advice from the parents on other side of your child’s overly affectionate hugging, because when our kids come home daily and say that x keeps doing this and I don’t like it, yes- we do advise our children to keep away from them.