SLT thinks 20 month old DS may have autism.

[Sadmum2]

Hi all,
I've posted before about the hard time I've been having with my DS. Since then he has had his first appointment with the speech and language therapist. She observed him and said he has a speech delay as at 20 months old he has no recognisable words and has only just begun understanding some basic commands such as "get your drink". She also said he is not playing appropriately for his age as has little interest in toys or doing pretend play but prefers household objects, posting things, playing with doors / Windows and generally throwing everything he gets his hands on.
She also observed his tantrums when entering the room and when things didn't go his way and how he wanted me to pick him up but then wanted to be placed back down immediately.
From this she said she wonders if "There is a bit of autism there" and has placed him on the waiting list for an assessment.

While I am relieved there is some form of help on the way I'm now also feeling very upset as I'm so uncertain of the future.
I'm worried my DS will never talk and all these struggles I've been having surrounding his behaviour will continue forever if he can't grow out of it.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation where their child hasn't spoken at 20 months and then has started to speak in their own time? Or perhaps had someone suspect autism but for the child to turn out to be fine?
Sorry for the very long post but my head is all over the place.

Anyone?

Hugs, it’s a very difficult time. My son’s autism manifested differently but a friend’s son was totally pre-verbal at that age and is now a very verbal, very bright boy, with autism.

I would see if there are any autism toddler groups in your area, to try and meet other parents you can talk to.

My friends son started speaking quite late, he was four before he could speak a three word sentence, however he has severe delays and is not autistic. I dont want to dismiss your concerns, but if one if the criteria for autism is not playing with age appropriate toys, then a great number of children would have to be referred. I think that is pretty normal tbh. Have you had a wide spectrum of hearing tests? ( not just the basic gp one, but with a specialist?) what prompted the referral to a speech therapist?

My son didn't talk at all at 20 months. His favourite way to communicate was a head but. He was unsettled, grumpy, angry and fed up. At 23 months a light went on and his language flooded in. I was on the verge of taking him to the doctors because I was sure there was something up.

I didnt take him, because his burst of language menant that he could say what was wrong or what he wanted and it resolved the anger and sadness and head butting.

So it may just be a bit early for him to talk. It maybe that he ends up with a diagnosis. Either way he's your son and you'll love him and nurture him no matter what.

So keep doing what you're doing and it'll all unfold the way it's going to.

Be kind to yourself, eh?

DS was sent to an audiologist for hearing tests but all came back fine. The reason he was referred to a SLT is because I had been seeing my HV about concerns I had over his behaviour, he has meltdowns and tantrums over things like nappy changes, teeth brushing, getting in and out of the car or pushchair. Over most things really and I had been struggling to go out with him and do day to day things. He also does not eat well, still on baby jars of food or the occasional piece of toast, and drinks from a baby bottle. I also was concerned about the fact that he has no words yet as he doesn't point or wave or clap or communicate in other ways really.

I'm just a worrier really and when left to my own thoughts I can work myself up.
I'm just afraid of how I'd cope if he did have autism and perhaps regressed. I don't have a lot of support in my life so finding it a very scary thought.

I don’t know how common regressing is. Its much more likely that a diagnosis means you will get help on managing his behaviours and understanding his triggers better , so improving his quality of life and his ability to communicate.

I do mean if he does have delays by the way op, I’m totally not qualified to know if that’s genuinely delayed and from what others say it’s possibly not.

My husband is on the autistic spectrum as are his Dad, Uncle and eldest nephew. All are high functioning. My FIL is a highly respected hospital consultant and my DH's Uncle is a retired civil servant. My eldest nephew is sociable but has terrible meltdowns if things don't go his way or the way he thinks they are going to go. he's only just been diagnosed at the age of 8 but already there a things in place to help his parents manage life with him My DH was diagnosed at 42. He holds down an ok job and is a great father to our son.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if your son is diagnosed as on the spectrum it doesn't mean his life is over - just maybe a different life.

Early diagnosis is really important in managing behavior.

I really would try to not worry about his speech. At 20 months he still has quite a bit of time before he is officially "delayed" and it seems that you are already accessing help. The fact that he seems to prefer smooth food could mean that he has some sensory issues, and if you can identify them, that could just possibly help reduce the tantrums a bit. I found the "out of synch child" (I got it from amazon)really helpful.

I think you need you remember that your ds will still be your ds, with or without a diagnosis of anything. He will still be that little boy that you love dearly, but who at the moment is struggling with the world a bit. But, if he does have autism, then, with a diagnosis, you will be able to begin to understand him better, what the triggers and frustrations are, and how best to help him. So will everyone he encounters - at Nursery then at school, and everywhere else he goes as he gets older. Life will get easier for him if any difficulty he has, is recognised.
None of us can say whether his is or isn't autistic, but SaLTs know a huge amount about autism and are involved in multi-disciplinary diagnostic teams, so, if it is something that is concerning her, then I would take that opinion seriously.

@Sadmum2 how is your ds now? Any update would be so helpful. My 20 month old son sounds very similar your your description and im worrying myself so much