Toddler random acts of violence - how to interpret?

[ItsHarryTheDirtyDog]

There are two kids who do this at our playgroup. We avoid them as much as possible.

18mo or 2yo goes up to another one a similar age or a bit younger, and eye-gouges, grabs by the jaw or hair and pushes over, sinks teeth into arm so hard it draws blood, punches in the face so hard the other child falls off the chair, etc. It's unprovoked and the attacking kid doesn't seem upset, either before or after. It's also (in one case) almost always done when there's nobody else around.

18mo or just 2 is too young for this to be easily interpretable as the kid being a little thug who uses violence to get something. Also it's often done when the attacking child doesn't apparently want anything from the attacked child.

Anyone know how to interpret this usefully?

Being a toddler?

Is it really fairly normal for a toddler? Particularly the kid who mostly does it to smaller kids when there's apparently noone watching?

Happy to be told yes it is utterly normal.

If that's the case we'll just continue to avoid those kids til they grow out of it!

as the kid being a little thug who uses violence to get something

don't be daft - the kid is no more than a baby...

maybe the parent could be a bit more on hand. You need to use distraction to ensure this doesn't happen, and you have to use it over and over and over...it works eventually, but toddlers are exhausting.

yep fairly normal for toddlers - even my DD who was 18 months when DS was born, used to bash her brother over the head with lego at every opportunity.

That's why I said that this age is too young for that to be the interpretation...

OK - good to know it's normal. Their parents are quite distinctly not hands-on types at all, so we'll just avoid them for a bit...

honestly, you can't interpret toddlers - they are just trying everything out, including testing their strength, seeing what will happen if they push someone, getting a reaction (good or bad) from people around them.
They are finding out that they can control things, and it gives them power (not in a bad way necessarily, just working things out in a social way).
They are still so small, and actually very powerless and vulnerable, so they test things out to see what is acceptable and what it not.

Yep. DS (1 3/4) is inclined to ignore other little kids still, or try to play with the 4 year olds or talk to the adults, so we haven't reached the testing-social-interactions stage yet.

ah but that is exactly what he is doing - just in a less physical way than others

My friend's toddler was like this between about 18 months to 2.5 years. She was very worried about him, often kept him away from groups because she couldn't relax and even lost a few friends because of what he did to their children. He bit my ds (same age) and he had a mark for months. In his case,he is almost 3 now,he has grown out of it and, while still headstrong, is sweet and gentle. The rest of us now have more issues wiyh our toddlers' behaviour and feel more empathy for what my friend went through! So I suppose it doesn't always have to have a sinister reason.

Simply put, they lack impulse control. All the things we think about doing but never act on because we can control ourselves and know it’s wrong.... they are doing!

Impulse control comes at different ages but usually around 4-5 years old.