Ignore my birthday

[hilly10]

Hi, I split up with my ex 4 years ago, we have 3 children together but only one lives with me. What I am struggling with is that my eldest two daughters 16 and 18 years old both live with their Dad and his GF, but they ignore me, yesterday was my birthday and again i didn't even get a text, it's the same with Mother's Day, Christmas and any other occasion. I promise myself every time that I won't get upset but I do. They both boast about what they got their Dad and his GF but I'm ignored, I feel as though I don't exist. Anyone understand this or been through this? Thanks

Do you have any contact with them OP?

The only contact I have is if we happen to see each other out and about. If I text or ring when Dad is about then they won't answer, it really hurts. They treat me like dirt because they believe everything their Dad has told them

Is there some kind of back story to this OP? It seems a bit odd that you haven’t had much contact with them.

Okay this is tough, my marriage broke down for many reasons but on my part since we split up I started to see that the way I was being treated amounted to emotional abuse. They was a clear divide in the marriage and since I moved out the divide has become more obvious. My ex has then used the older two to carry on the abuse. I've tried my hardest to be a mother to my kids but obstacles keep being put in the way and I'm prevented from seeing them.

Focus on your other child. The other two are old enough to know what they're doing. It's hard but it's not your fault. One day they might see the wrong they've done or one day they still might not care. You've done your best, if they have been brainwashed by their father to disrespect you there's not much you can do. Focus on your other child and your life and just keep going they need you x

Thank you for your advice, it's really helpful. I do firmly believe that their Dad has brainwashed them, they have been told loads of lies about me and been told that I am not worthy of their respect. I know that until they move away from him they won't change because he will keep hammering into them that I am not to be trusted or respected. My eldest daughter treats me exactly the same way that he did and he is using them both to control me. I've had counselling and I learned that they are both carrying on the emotional abuse that I suffered. Yes you're right I am concentrating on my youngest, she won't speak to her Dad or sisters.