Starting nursery

[winterwonderly]

I'm sure this topic has been done to death but now I'm in the situation I need a bit of perspective and advice. So my DD (aged 2) had a trial session at nursery, got on ok for about 30 mins and then got upset and was inconsolable. It only took me about 5 minutes to get back but I've never seen her so upset before. I think she just realised I'd left her.

Help!! I'm really worried when we go back again that it will remind her how upset it made her before and that she won't even want to go in. I think if we'd started her in nursery when she was younger that she would have settled better as she would have had less awareness of what was happening.

Felling very conflicted about what to do next. I hate seeing her upset, and part of me just thinks I should keep her at home with me, but I also really want her to get used to these situations as I'm not going to be able to be at home with her forever.

Any positive stories from anyone who's been in a similar situation?

Can anyone make me feel better that she might actually settle in time? At the minute it doesn't feel like she will.

Separation is painful at any age, it often takes a bit of practice, chat with nursery about it in sure there are plenty of children there who now look happy and confident who were once tearful starting. My daughter really struggled initially with nursery but enjoyed it much more from 2 and a half and was very happy and confident with her transition to school.

Thank you, I'm hoping it will just take a bit of time.

It's hard. My daughter started very young but it took her a very long time to settle and she still gets upset for a while when she changes rooms etc.

I think you just need to keep sending them in, she will settle eventually. It's something that they will have to deal with and TBH I think it's easier to get it sorted earlier.

On the positive side, when she does settle she will have a lovely time! I really think it's so much more interesting for them than being stuck at home all the time.

Good luck!

How confident are you with the nursery? Do the staff seem quite experienced and know what they are doing or are there a lot of students/young workers who don’t have much experience to settle a shy child in? Is it quite big with lots of children and is your dd used to being in groups that big? Do you think she would do better in a smaller setting (maybe with a childminder?)
If you are confident, keep sending her, for short visits, which then get longer until she is more confident.

Or maybe if she still doesn’t settle after a couple of weeks, take her out and try again in 6 months when she is a bit older (if you don’t need the childcare now obviously).

Yes I'm very happy with the nursery, and there are about 10 children in her room. She's used to going to groups etc but not being left without me or another family member. I'm hoping it's just going to take some time, I think she'd really enjoy it.

I’m in the exact same situation as you op. My little lad started yesterday and was fine, in fact he loved it but today he was sobbing when I collected him, it broke my heart tbh. He is such a happy little chap normally.
I’m just going to take it slow. I’m in no rush to get him settled I’d rather he was happy.

For all my friends it took max 2 weeks (some only 1 week)- I know that feels like forever when your LO is upset. But hang on in there because every single one of them loves it now and actually gets excited about going!