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Parenting

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Original poster

When do you know when you're ready for your next child?

11 replies

tammybear · 22/08/2004 16:24

I was just wondering this, as Im always being asked if I am planning for another one anytime soon, and I always say no, I dont think Im ready for a second one just yet. But then I started thinking about it, and I was just wondering how would I know if Im ready for another one. Seems like a stupid question but dd wasnt planned so I didnt really know if I was ready for her or not if you understand what I mean. But how did other mumsnetters know when they wanted more children?

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earlygirl · 22/08/2004 16:45

when you want it!!????
you'll KNOW when!!

Beetroot · 22/08/2004 17:09

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StickyNote · 22/08/2004 17:18

I knew I wanted more than one and also that I wanted smallish age gaps, so that forced me to get a wiggle on IYSWIM.

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skerriesmum · 22/08/2004 18:34

I feel like I'll want one when I can have more time with an infant so hopefully when ds is in some kind of preschool ...

roisin · 22/08/2004 19:19

I have 22 months between my two, and though ds2 was planned it wasn't a decision that we made then - i.e. when ds1 was 13 months old, but rather a decision we'd made years before. Like StickyNote we'd always known we wanted two, and that we wanted them fairly close in age - preferably two school years apart - so that got us going. When your children are tiny is hard to imagine what it would be like to have two; but it's also hard to imagine what the eldest would be like in 9 months' time either. So I think you have to make a decision for the longterm, and just cope if it's a struggle in the short-term. Well that was my policy anyway.

Goldfish · 22/08/2004 19:46

I just always knew that I wanted 2 children close together, 1 year apart at school, which is what I got. Mine are 16 months apart. I was still a bit shocked when I got pregnant with ds2 though. I was still breastfeeding ds1. But I sometimes think that if it hadn't happened like that, when would I have actually known when to start trying, or felt ready?

emmatmg · 22/08/2004 20:01

I knew the time was right because it was all I could think about. I was sooooooo broody for another baby(number 3 though, DH had the broodiness for No2) that it became almost an obsession. I was desparate to be pregnant and have the whole baby stage again, theres 4.5 years between all 3 Ds's, so I was never out of it for long. That feeling didn't go away until I was PG with DS3.

As others have said, when the time is right you WILL know.

MeanBean · 22/08/2004 20:11

When my DS got to 2 and I started feeling jittery about having a bigger age gap than 3 years.

Wills · 22/08/2004 20:13

I always get broody when my youngest walks. dd2 has just started to walk and already I'm seeing the change from baby to toddler. For me that's when it starts.

KateandtheGirls · 22/08/2004 20:17

You'll know. For me it was when my daughter was approaching 2. Luckily I got pregnant right away so there are 2 and a half years between them.

Before that there was no way I was ready. Just couldn't handle morning sickness, pregnancy, having a newborn again yet. (My husband was ready to have another the day we bought her home from the hospital, he loved being a dad so much.) But all of a sudden, when she was about 1 3/4 I knew I was ready to do it all again.

lavender1 · 22/08/2004 20:20

there wasn't a specific time when I knew, But I always wanted to have at least 2 children and didn't want a massive age gap as my 2 closest sisters are 19 months and 30 months age apart from me....imho I just follow instinct (there was never a feeling that I had to have done something by a certain age and just do what feels 100%+ natural to you and if you don't feel like having 2 children or more and it feels right then stick by it....b*** what anyway else says or makes you feel you ought to......do you feel broody at all btw?

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