Baby won't go down until after 10pm!

[Routinerobber]

My first child was exactly the same until 9 months old. DC2 - Baby (4months) will not go down until after 10pm each evening. Like with DC1,the routine is clear, followed to a T, she goes to bed early enough, naps are well spaced during the day and not too late. But just like DC1 used to,I put her down at 7pm after her feed and she basically just has a 20 minute power nap, then I feed her again, she does the same thing and Ping, wide awake.
I have to keep her upright after feeding for 20 minutes due to reflux, which is not helping matters (just like DC1). She snoozes on me, then snoozes a little longer in her crib, then is wide awake!
What can i do?
I need some time to myself.
I have read the sleep solution book before, and the ideas eventually worked for DC1 once we were able to stop holding her upright at bedtimes.
Also, the thought of spending 4-5 nights on the trot trying to implement her sleeping earlier fills me with dread. I spent the first 9 months of DC1s life sat on her room each night until 10pm each evening. I dont want to go through this again. Currently, I try once and then bring the baby downstairs, where she naps and feeds on and off until 10pm.

What is going on here and what can I do about it?

She is breastfed.

How often do they wake in the night?

I used to keep my LOs up till 10pm on purpose.

This is exactly my problem too. I need help also! 😫

Mine didn't go to sleep early but I wasn't bothered about that, I don't see what the problem is. There are no hard and fast rules with babies and children, they're individuals. The advantage to going to sleep later was not waking at the crack of dawn.

DS was like this, it was natural for him I think. He would wake for the day at 6am which became 5am if he went to bed "early" at 9pm so really didn't want to push for an earlier bedtime.

He grew out of it with time, we just had to live with it while it lasted (aged about 9 months as far as I remember)

Are you bfing? If so isnt this normal evening cluster feeding?

Mine went to bed at 10 the same as me. I could then feed him in the morning and he would go back to sleep for an hour, so I had time to myself to have a shower and get some breakfast. Can you do that, or is your baby up early too?

Ours is 4 months and exactly the same. We would like some time to ourselves in the evenings but he definitely won’t settle any earlier for now. We have decided to just roll with it and he stays downstairs with us feeding and playing until we all go to bed together around 10 and I feed him to sleep.

He’s our first though so we are pretty happy to follow his rhythm for the moment with the expectation that we’ll get our evenings back at some point.
It’s completely different if you have two. It must be relentless and you need some time to yourself for sure!

Sorry for not being any help at all. I am just posting to say that my understanding is that it’s pretty normal for this age. Following with interest though I case anyone has good tips for getting them to settle earlier...

Could you bring the sleep forward very gradually, like put in a bath, feed and cuddle wind down for the 10 pm bed, then after a few nights bring forward so going to the cot will be 9:45ish, and each night that tiny bit earlier.
Your baby may be ok with a 10pm bed time, but tbh hardly anyone talks about the baby that sleeps 10 until 10, it's usually more like 7-7 or 6:30 onwards. Over tired babies produce too much adrenaline, they often struggle to stay asleep, or wake very early when they do get to sleep.

mine were all like this, so bedtime was 10pm.
It was pointless trying before this as we'd have the same results as you.
None of them had reflux though, so didn't have to stay upright, that must be tough.
Two of them are owls given chance, and grown up now, and the other still doesn't sleep properly at 14.
sometimes as tough as it is you have to let them find their own routine.
I know this is no consolation, I know how you feel

I love our 4month old going to sleep at 10 ish as it means he’ll sleep through till a reasonable time in the morning! He snoozes all evening cuddled up with me cluster feeding on and off.

My three month old stays downstairs with me til I come to bed at nine. She snoozes and feeds while we are downstairs, has another feed in bed and then I transfer her to the Sleepyhead. I haven't tried putting her in Sleepyhead downstairs as I'm loving the cuddles. She's my second so I know how quick this stage will pass and I will miss it (as much as I feel like I'd like my evenings back!)