Is he ready????

[Demented]

My DS2 (2 years 2 1/2 months) has started to use the potty (hurrah!), he started all by himself on Thursday when I had to leave him bare bummed as he had bad nappy rash, he was watching Bob the Builder and I put the potty down next to him saying "If you needed pee pees use the potty" not expecting him to even try, he used it successfully twice that afternoon. Unfortunately on Friday I had to put him back into nappies as we had a very busy day (DS1 has just started School etc). Yesterday we left him without nappies again and twice he was successful in the potty in the morning however after his nap he woke up really grumpy and not very happy about no nappy, he thrust the potty at me saying "I no like at potty". I decided not to give in (not sure if this was the right thing) and in the afternoon he had one success and one accident. Today we have stayed home and he has had two accidents and one success.

Basically my question is should we just keep going as he obviously knows how to do it and just weather through the accidents, is the amount of accidents he is having normal (I just can't remember much about DS1's potty training anymore), about 50/50 I would say. Other problem is DS1 is back to School again on Monday and I don't think DS2 is ready for pants!!!

Any help/advice from those who have been through it recently (or have better memories than me) appreciated.

Well, I haven't been through it more recently than you, but wanted to wish you luck anyway.

He certainly sounds as though he is very ready, and understands what is going on, and that you are a very small step from success! I would certainly be tempted to bite the bullet, put the nappies away, pants on, and stand ready with stickers, rewards, and loads and loads of praise for successes.

Good Luck!

PS How is school going?

Thanks he's just woken up so I feel a bit more positive after my break from it.

School's going fine, DS1 seems to have settled in well, although I have been exhausted this weekend, I think I've been suppressing all my emotions, the feeling of relief on Friday when his first week had gone by without hitch was unbelieveable but left me exhausted. If the next few weeks go as smoothly for him as the first we will be very happy.

DS2 not wanting to be left out of things seems to have picked this time to potty train! LOL!

It does sound like he's ready, and I agree with Roisin about the stickers, and general delight and rewards whenever he manages to use the potty. One thing I think is really important with potty training, is that once you've started, you can't put them back in nappies otherwise it confuses them. So I would grit my teeth and keep nappies away from him (except at night) even if you are really busy. It sounds like you're doing OK - the first three or four days are bound to have more accidents than successes, but just be ott delighted with every success and keep going! Good luck!

I know what you mean about picking their time. DS1 had just had his 2nd birthday and announced he wasn't going to have nappies any more, he wanted to use the potty, and wear big boys pants ... at the time ds2 was just 6 weeks old.
Potty training was definitely not on my agenda at the time

Fortunately he was completely dry within a week.

Ooooh, I don't know what to do now, I was all ready to throw in the towel, two more accidents this afternoon, no successes, it's almost as if he has completely forgotten what the potty is for, if I suggest going on it he just says "No" and when I ask if he needs I get the same response.

I haven't tried stickers but we have been very OTT with praise the times he's got one in so to speak. Perhaps stickers tomorrow, he likes DS1's star chart so will probably try something similar for pees in potty . Like you say Meanbean, I don't want to confuse him by putting him back into nappies.

I was dreading this and now I remember why.

!

He's just done a poo on DS1's carpet. I do remember DS1 making a promising start when he was about 2 years 5 months and then it all going to pieces, I put him back into nappies and he was ready again a couple of months later. Perhaps this is the same thing. Somebody tell me what to do, I'm not good at this motherhood thing!

Demented - try and stay calm, that's the main thing!

If you've had enough, then throw in the towel now, but be decisive.

If you want to keep going, set yourself a target: maybe 3 days from now, and then re-assess at that point.

(DS2 - nearly 5.5 is still in nappies at night, and this is what I do from time to time, aim to try for a week without and see what happens ... I usually manage 2 days = 4 complete sets of bedding AND soggy duvet, then I give up )

Is school drop-off/pick up a real pain? Have you got a long walk/car journey? Could you just take the potty with you.

Another thought - is he having plenty to drink? With my two I made sure they had loads and loads to drink especially in the early days, then they needed to go more often, and therefore had more successes! Try and count successes rather than failures, and keep positive.

Thanks roisin, I'll see how it goes tomorrow morning. The walk to school is about 20 mins at DS2's pace although I may be able to leave him with DH who works from home. Although this afternoon's accidents were when he was left in the 'care' of DH so I'm not sure. I think if we got a few successes tomorrow and some stars up for him we all might feel a bit more positive.

It doesn't help either that DS1 wants to take a role in the training too, grrrr!

Hope you have a good day tomorrow!

Btw my dh works from home too, and it was a real bonus to be able to leave ds2 with him sometimes on the school run. (We have 0.6 mile to school and it's not flat, and some days it was a bit much to ask ds2 to walk there and back twice a day.)

We do always walk though as ds1 goes a bit loopy if he doesn't get enough fresh air and exercise!

Meant to say sympathies with your DS2, my DS1 is about the same age and was dry at night from 3 1/2 then about a year to eighteen months later started regularly wetting the bed, now we have to lift him every night before we go to bed otherwise he will be soaking in the morning. I would have put him back in nappies but after a year to 18 months it seemed such a step backwards so have decided to put up with the lifting just now and hope it gets better soon.

It is handy having a DH who works at home (at times anyway ). We always walk too despite having the car at the door, it's better for them and me, except DS2 won't go in the buggy anymore. Nevermind.

Ah well back in nappies.

This morning we were getting ready for school, DS2 wasn't too happy with the potty idea until I produced a pair of pants, we had a bit of a chat and I explained that he would need to keep the pants dry, not wet, he repeated "not wet" and he would have to use the potty to which he said "no potty". I put the pants and trousers on him and about thirty seconds later he said "oh Mummy a poo", taking him at his word I walked towards him, feeling for the poo at his bum and ended up standing in a pool of pee in my bare feet.

To cut a long story short I decided to put him back in nappies, he was delighted although had a screaming fit when I put the spare pair of pants I was going to take with us to the School back in the drawer.

I'm not too bothered about it as I would prefer him to be very ready and hopefully be trained with the least fuss which hopefully isn't far away as he is showing loads of signs and is clearly capable of doing it when he wants to.

I hope to be revisting this thread in a couple of months with more positive news. Thanks for listening and thanks to Roisin and Meanbean for your help, support and advice it's great to have someone to talk to about these things.

Oh dear!

Well, enjoy your time without potty pressure

I'm sure he'll let you know when he's ready to try again. Have a good week! I was just looking at photos of ds2 on his first day at school - he looks so tiny, with a huge school bag. I can't believe it was a whole year ago.

Hi demented. Just read about your dilemma. As you know Ive had MASSES of potty training experience!! I left all of mine without even mentioning the potty until they were 2 1/2 yrs. Then one day I would take off their nappy and introduce the potty or the toilet (had a good secure traine seat). DD1 and DD3 took to the potty whereas DD2 and 4 refused to look at it but preferred using the toilet. So you may find that DS2 may get on better using the toilet, esp as he will see DS1 using it. Also, DD2 and DD4 (I think, it all becomes a bit of a blur!) had so many accidents the first day that I put them back in nappies for 2 or 3 weeks. When I tried them again that was it - success!!! They are all ready at different stages. The most important thing is not to make a big deal out of potty training because if they feel you are stressed and tense about it they will too and it may put them back months. I felt that if they were having lots of accidents they prob were not ready so put back on the nappy and tried again later. It worked for me. Whatever happens, he WILL be out of nappies by the time he's 18! So dont worry too much.

LOL Muminamillion, you must be able to potty train standing on your head by now! hmmmm.

TBH I was so laid back I was just about horizontal the nappy was only taken off him because he had nappy rash however DS1 made it a big thing (can't leave him out of anything ) and at one point was chasing DS2 with the potty telling him to do pees and poos on it which I don't suppose helped.

Today however when I was changing him he urgently started asking for the potty, I sat him on it and he did a pee, praised him for it and gave him a star which he was delighted about. This time though I put the nappies back on him and although in the past I've been unsure about this sort of approach, always felt you should do one thing or the other, I think we'll go with it for now and hopefully when we settle into our new routine with School etc things should improve, hopefully.

I'm trying to encourage him to use the potty rather than the toilet as we only have the one toilet up the stairs and I don't rate his chances of getting there in time (I need to wait for DH to start his next DIY project to remedy this, perhaps we will have two toilets by the time they are both at high school ).

Demented, it's not just when he's ready, it's when you're ready too. I had a friend who kept telling me off for not potty training my DD because she was obviously ready, so I tried it and it was a nightmare - I realised that DD might be ready, but I certainly wasn't! So I put her back in nappies for about two months longer and psyched myself up for it. By which time, we were all ready - the whole family! and so it worked. Hopefully, that's how it will work out for you as well. In the meantime, relax and enjoy the lack of pressure!

Meanbean, so true!! It does have to be done at the right time for you, when circumstances are right (is the time ever right??). Suppose its the same with everything in childrearing. Only you know when the time is right for you and the child. Theres a huge pressure to have children out of nappies by the time they are 2 and Ive watched loads of poor well-meaning mums running after their toddlers hoping to catch some flying missiles before they splat on the floor just because someone elses child is (said to be) using the potty. You'd think we would be too old for peer pressure but it still has an effect. Demented - you are a fab parent. You dont need much advice - go with your instincts.

Thanks to both of you for the advice (and to Muminamillion for the flattery ). You're both right I'm not ready just now, I've got enough with DS1 starting School. I'm just joing to keep on with the casual approach if I'm changing him and he asks for the potty then I'll let him go, if he does nothing it doesn't matter but if he goes then I'll praise him for it.

Terrified to say anything but, DS2 having a go at the potty again (I'm still not ready but don't know if I'll ever be). This afternoon he was on about his bum being sore (seems to have continual nappy rash, DS1 was the same when he came to this stage), then he said he wanted the potty which I let him sit on and he did a pee, I praised him, he got a star etc then party due to the sore bum and partly due to laziness I didn't put a nappy back on him and left him at home with DH while I collected DS1 from School and took him to his swimming lesson. When I came back DH told me he had done another pee in the potty, one in the toilet and had attempted a poo. Since I've been home this evening he has pee'd in the potty once. So far no accidents.

I was quite happy to put my head in the sand a little while longer but I don't think DS2 is going to let me. I'm dreading tomorrow, which I know is silly.

OOh, was pleased to find this as I started ds today as well. We could be mutual potty mentors! DS is 2:10 and has tried a few times before, but I always gave up after a day. He has had about 3 slightly dribbly successes and 3 huge puddles, saying "I want clean pants now Mummy!!". I put a nappy on him to take him to the shops. I think I like the softly softly approach of a few hour stints at a time,(my neighbour, 2:4, just finished training like this) although other people say it confuses them. What approach are you taking, Demented?

Hi LHP, I've only just seen this. Unfortunately we are taking the 'back in nappies approach' once more. With my DS1 he needed the all or nothing approach, the minute I put a nappy/training pants on him he would use it so would imagine doing the same with DS2.

The problem with DS2 is he is clearly physically able to do it but is having problems settling since his big brother went to School (4.5 weeks ago now). On Monday he was great mood wise and potty wise however Tuesday came and he did a poo on the sofa, a pee on the rug and another poo on the floor, I could see he wasn't in a great mood all day, missing his big brother again.

I'm thinking he may train while we are on holiday in three weeks time, all day on the beach wearing just trunks, seems too good an opportunity to miss (or am I delusional?), so we will take a potty and hope for the best. I do not plan on ruining our holiday though and if it 'aint happening I'll not worry about it.

How's your DS getting on now?

Hiya. You heading to the beach soon then? Lucky devil, just as its about to turn manky here - good timing. Well I was about to throw in the towel (pun intended!) after the mini lakes ds managed to create yesterday, felt that following him around in paranoid fashion, plastic throne in hand was not a good use of our time together. When I heard myself say "If you do a wee wee in the potty I will find you some ice cream" I thought it was really time to quit. HOWEVER, when dh came in , he noncholantly mentioned to ds that he might be interested in using the potty, SO HE DID ONE FOR HIS DAD!!! Today he went til 5:30 with no accidents, the penny really seemed to drop, and he expressed disapointment that his 4th poo wasn't as big as his first! (I know, I know, tmi!). So I have labelled up a big bag of jogging bottoms for him to take to nursery tommorrow, having changed my mind again about whether to go all or nothing or softly softly. We shall see, we shall see!! I love your idea of training on the beach. Sigh! If only ......

LHP, that sounds great! LOL about his disappointment at the small poo. It's amazing what they will do for their Daddys. On Monday when my DS2 had his successes they were all for his Daddy as I was out, hmmm maybe that's the secret, disappear for a month or so and leave it to DH!

The beach can't come soon enough, we're going to Fuerteventura for two weeks, if he doesn't train then I don't know how we will go about things because when we come back home we will be heading straight into winter, brrrrr!

Terrified to post here again in case it spells disaster but just wanted to update. DS2 didn't train on holiday but he did become far more aware of what he was doing.

Once we were back a week or so we gave it another go, he did really well but came down with a sick bug so we had to abandon again. Training has started again (started on Thurs afternoon) and so far he has only had two accidents, one when he was wearing trousers and pants as we had just been out and the other was a poo on DS1's carpet (the poos always take longer to sort out anyway).

Ooops another poo in the livingroom. It's like having a puppy!