Calling bf dad

[chattyemma]

Me and my 2 children have moved in bf place about a month ago. He has 2 daughters every other weekend and 1 night a week his are 4 and 7, mine are 4 and 5. There dad has not been seen for 3 years and not paid a penny since he left and I don’t want it and the kids don’t remember him at all.

For the last 2 days my daughter has been calling my partner dad and my son done it once this morning when when he was getting there breakfast. He just answered it and carried on like normal and I love the fact that he just played it like a normal thing and carried on and they feel happy to do it but I am a bit worried how his 2 daughters will take it

How long have you been with your partner?

I think you should nip it in the bud to be honest

We have been togeather almost 2 years

I don't think it is right that your children are calling him Dad. They should call him by his name. It isn't fair on his own kids. Also, if you split up (I hope not but you never know), it will be very awkward for your children.

Why should the father of your children not have to pay anything? It's not a matter of whether you want money, but it's what is FAIR. He's off having his own life, whilst leaving your boyfriend to raise the children (as well as paying for his own two)

My son was in the same situation - had his 2 girls every other weekend, pays money for them. He was living with a woman and her 2 boys - their dad didn't pay either, until she (the mother) was persuaded to go to CSA. My son paid the rent, all of the bills, the food, clothes, everything. She was a SAHM. Her boys called him by his name, not Dad

Unless you marry or he adopts them, he isn’t dad yet.
It’s really lovely that he is so good with and to them.

The last I heard my ex was living in Australia and I’m in the uk so I can not go to csa

Tread carefully op. My dc called exh dad, we split up after 6 years.
He didn't even tell them goodbye....

They should call him by his name or make up something else that’s a dad-like nickname. He’s dad to two other children who will already be coming to terms with him living ft with someone else’s children and it’s not at all fair on them yours also get to call him dad.

It’s nice you’re all close but you both have a responsibility to his actual children to make sure they don’t feel pushed out and this isn’t the way to go.

Two years isn’t that long, you’re not married, they have a dad even if he’s not around.

Personally, I think it’s lovely how they consider him their dad. I understand you’re worried about his other children. Maybe he can have a chat with them. Families come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and if your children don’t have their dad around.. they are always hearing your boyfriends children call him too...

I have DS from a previous relationship and DD with my partner. DS tells everyone he has two daddies and calls oH ‘daddy James’. Obviously DD calls him dad and DD wanted to do the same.

Of course, you need to make sure that his daughters don’t feel left out but do they get on with your children in general? are they close? At 4 & 7 they are still quite young and would probably accept it more than a teenager would!