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In Laws

3 replies

user1498936965 · 07/09/2018 22:09

Hello, just wondered if IABU as our in laws are abroad an hour away. We see them once/twice a year and they never babysit. We are with our children all the time but they are hard work and lovely but lovely. Would love just a bit of time alone. We went to a villa last year with them and family and they babysat other grandchild (girl) but not ours. They often have her overnight. MIL came this year but didn't babysit we all stayed in. I see all these people with in laws so involved and we get nothing. She doesn't ring or Skype. My husband Skypes her now and again and travels to them. Am sick of it. She sends Christmas and bday gifts but no more effort made. My mum is 72 and babysits but can't just rely on her. Just feel is all one way. Also just feeling so down re school run and having two lovely children and how it can ostracise you. I always reach out to mums in need but although made lots of friends and very social just feel so lonely sometimes. I have had a career etc and feel that motherhood leaves you so wide open to judgement and anxiety if you have lively children. My son had a stick on school run and parents going crazy. Is this so wrong. Would people years ago go through this with the snowflake generation. My children have no probs in childcare and school but just okay up and boisterous with me. Can feel ostracised sometimes. Hardest thing and best thing have ever done.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NerrSnerr · 07/09/2018 22:13

Have you ever asked them to babysit?

My parents and inlaws have never offered to babysit, they all live a while away but we have also never asked. If we need time to ourselves we need to pay a babysitter.

JayDot500 · 07/09/2018 22:52

Yeah kids are tough and exhausting, but if you don't ask you might not get.

YABU. They're your children. As much as I understand how you feel, you can't reason that your in laws are BU when they're just living their lives. To say things like 'im sick of it' just means you feel entitled to support that has never been promised to you in the first place. That's BU.

My mum has never looked after my son, she (and family) have babysat my nephew countless times. I'm fine with it because I haven't asked, and I can't expect to rely on anyone but my husband for reprieve.

Singlenotsingle · 07/09/2018 22:59

Not quite sure how the ILs are supposed to babysit if they live abroad, an hour away? And tbh most if not all children are boisterous these days. It must be the food!

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