does anyone elses toddler disagree with them the whole time?

[TheArmadillo]

Ds is 2.8 now and has to disagree with almost everything I say.

If I say I'm cross wiht him he tells me I'm not and that I'm happy.

He does it alot with everything I say.

He'd argue black was white if he knew the concept.

He started arguing with the telly the other day (they showed a footprint, he said it was a giraffe, they said it was a horse, he argued back ).

Is this normal and if so is he going to grow out of it? (am hoping the answer is yes but feel it maybe no).

And how do you stop yourself getting drawn into arguments? (yes it is, no it isn't etc etc).

He always has to have the last word - even if it is muttered under his breath as he runs out the room.

I blame dp personally - ds is a mini version of him

No no, everyone else's toddlers are all sunshine and light and politeness. All the time. Oh yes.

Normal. I end he arguments by sayimg "mmm" in a sceptical tone of voice and walking away.

Its very informative listening to ds (4) who has grown out of this and dd (2.9). A week or so they came to blows as dd was insisting that she had 3 legs and would not accept ds's reasoned argument that she did not. Eveentually frustration got the better of him and he walloped her on the leg. dd cried tha ds had hit her to which he replied "I only did it to make sure her third leg was real". Must say I was almost at a loss what to do as I had considerable sympathy with ds!

The only other toddler I really know well is - she's a little angel.

Ds is rather more erm boisterous and outgoing. Though they actually get on very well and have a shared fascination with woodlice (or 'wood mouse' as ds calls them).

if I say 'mmm' he repeats it louder as he assumes I haven't heard.

He is lovely - though I think used to being an only child with 2 sets of adoring gps (is only gc as well).

Also he is very stubborn (like his dad).

I on the other hand was a complete angel as a child

Oh dear, my ds is not quite four and still hasn't grown out of the black is white thing. He often tells me he's right and I'm wrong 'because I know everything, mummy'.

Gosh yes! Sometimes I just ignore it or say "if you say so" othertimes I've said something like, "You know it's an x you're just kidding!" and tickle him.

Also sometimes they seem to "argue" to want to make their own reality. If DS didn't like something I said and said something different he would tack "I said so, I said that" onto the end! Which seems to make perfect sense, afterall we say things to make them a reality, like stop doing that, or I am going to be angry, so they seem to do it too!

that's interesting Cascara I never thought of it like that.

My favourite argument with DS2, which is from a while back:

'DS2, look, there's the moon'
'No moon - biscuit'
'No, it's not a biscuit, it's the moon'
'No moon - biscuit!'
'It's up too high for a biscuit!'
'No moon - biscuit!'
... repeat for a while ...
... until I give up ...
'Ok, what flavour biscuit is it?'
'No biscuit, moon!'

I bring those arguments to an and with "Oh,ok then".
Takes the wind right out of his all-knowing,self-righteous sails.

ds does that too - as soon as I agree with him he looks at me like I'm a bit slow and claims my original answer.

Do toddlers just like to confuse?

Have to say I'm loving this stage more than the baby one no matter how much of a handful he is.

Actually agree with Cascara about them wanting teir own reality. With both of ours we sometimes end up saying "that must be how it is in ds land then, but in mummy land its quite different", they like this and will develop it and will sometimes contain their contrary notions to their own kingdoms.

that's a good idea - I think he might enjoy that.

Yes! My 3 year old does this all the time.

Reading of 'That's Not My Dinosaur'

ME: That's not my dinosaur, its body is too squashy
DS: No
ME: That's not my dinosaur, its tail is too fuzzy
DS: No
ME: That's my dinosaur, its teeth are too bumpy.
DS: Too bumpy. No.
[etc for rest of book]
ME [with hugely positive performance]: THAT'S my dinosaur! Its scales are SOOOOO soft
DS: No.
ME: No it is, this one is our dinosaur
DS: No
ME: It is
DS: No
ME: Pass the wine.

tribpot - that sounds exactly like ds!

Glad mine isn't the only one. I was expected arguments to come later

Armadillo - my ds isn't 2 yet (admittedly he will be on the 22nd) so I think you've got off lightly so far!

poor you - ds has only been doing it for the past 3 or 4 months, mostly.

I still think we all should have claimed to have lovely non-argumentative agreeable obedient two-year-olds. [sulk]

Btw, it extends to absolutely everything. Like there is nothing he wants more in life than to go on the big choo choo. But when I say, "shall we go on the big choo choo?"
"No"
[thinks]
"Yes"
[thi nks a bit more]
"No".

Etc.

Oh yes. We have loads of those conversartions where DS insists something is something else -

"Look DS, a digger"
"no copter"
"It's a digger"
"Copter"
"Digger"
" Copter"
"Digger"
"Copter"
" Digger"
"Copter"
"Digger"
etc. Untill i start saying silly things like "egg on toast" and "sealion" to make him laugh.

Also says no to everything, even if he actually does want it -
"Teatime DS"
"No no, no tea"
"Yes teatime, look lovely ham, lovely avocado"
"No tea. No ham. No cado."

or

"Come on let's get dressed"
"No dressed"
"yes getting dressed, trousers on"
"No trousers"
"Top on"
"No no, no top"
"Socks on"
"No! No sockens!"
"So what do you want to do, go out naked?"
"No naked"
"Shall we stay in all day then and sit on the sofa?"
"No sofa"

etc etc etc

I just tend to claim everything is a biscuit.

Unfortunately, my silly techniques now mean that whatever time I say it is ('dinner time', 'bath time', 'bed time', whatever), DS2 just says it's 'spitting time' and blows a raspberry.

my mum has a similar technique for whenever ds says 'what you doing' (which he does a million times a day). She always responds 'eating an elephant'.

Doesn't stop him asking though.

Snowleopard absolutely. We want to go out to play. But refuse to accept that we must be dressed in order to do so. And then at the other end of the day we refuse to accept we must be undressed. All that 'no top' stuff is oh-so-painfully-familiar

I also particularly enjoy:

"No mummy shower" (every morning)
"No kiss for mummy" (normally relents after a minute of me going "poor mummy. Pooooorrrrrrr mummy")
"Teletubbies no, teletubbies yes, teletubbies no, teletubbies yes" Repeat until suicidal.

I fondly imagine that the fact the ds is behaving like this at the relatively young age of 23 months speaks of excellent mental development and a genuine hope it might all be over sooner. Obviously kidding myself but it's worth a try.

yes. I think it is genetic- she gets it from her father! lol