Are babies really more contented in a routine??

[sweetjane]

I'm asking this because I have tried and failed to follow various routines! Ds is 5 months old, he gets up at 7/7:30 and has a nap at 9/9:30, but how long he sleeps for seems to vary day to day and I don't like waking him up unnecessarily. Then anything goes until bathtime at 6:30 and bed at around 7/7:30 depending how long he feeds for (am bf).

He eats when he is hungry (usually about every 3 or 4 hours) and sleeps when he is tired (usually after 2 hrs of being awake)but sometimes I wonder if he would actually be happier with more structure to his day.

I'm sure this has been asked a million times before, but do you think that babies are really more contented in set routines??

Mine were both very happy developing their own routines, they led, I followed (blindly at first!!)
Sounds like yours is doing the same thing.

ds led me into his routine...he was a very mellow, contented baby.

Mmm - difficult question.

Put ds in a routine having read a certain book. It was not for him and still feel guitly about it. Don't think ridig routines are good.

Kind of had a baby led routine for dd having learned from my mistkaes first time around. I would try to have lunch and naps at similar times each day but if dd was not tired then or tired earlier, I would follow what she wanted to do. I always let her sleep as long as she wanted to and never ever woke her unless she was still sleeping within 2 hours of bedtime.

In short, I think a little structure is a good thing for everyone. Too much structure and you will go mad.

I found both my DD's were happiest in a routine, but I think that is probably because I am better in a routine.

Do what makes you happy and comfortable and your baby will be happy.

There is no right or wrong, some people love routine others think it evil (OK slight exaggeration!) Do what you are happy with

Dd was very contented in her routine.

But it was hers - she fell into it quite naturally. Following your baby's lead is not a bad idea!

Sounds to me like you have a routine, sweetjane. Is your ds happy and contented?

If he's not, then you might find that getting him to nap a little in the afternoon helps.

Ds2 has taken ages and ages to establish a routine - he was quite a grumpy baby at 5 months, because he was always tired. Now, at 9 months, he has developed a routine of waking about 7, napping at 10 (for a variable length of time), napping again in the afternoon (I try to put him down 1.30/2ish) and bed at 7. He is much much happier these days. That said, learning to crawl at 7 months eased a great deal of frustration for him and made him happier too.

I think you do have a routine, of sorts!!!

I think a flexible routine is good thing, for your sanity and theirs. My 6 mth DS is on a 'routine' similar to yours - we start and end the day generally around the same time, and his sleep is fairly predictable but not set in stone. His feeds are a little more structured, and it works very well for us.

I only adjust his daytime sleep if it begins to affect the night time ( I've started putting him to bed later as he was waking at 5.30 am, so his pm nap is a bit longer now), otherwise he does what he likes during the day, but I find it follows a sililar pattern most days.

I find I can predict how are day will pan out, making things like outings easier, but I would never not do something just because it was at 'nap time' - we'd work around it, so I think we have the best of both worlds!!

If you and your boy are happy with life as it is, I say good for you!!!

I do try to follow his lead but he seems to want something different every day!! I think he does get enough daytime sleep. He fits in around what I am doing usually, and has catnaps if we are out and about, or proper naps if we are at home.

I guess things will change once he is weaned anyway.

thanks chaps! it's good to know I'm not the only one. I guess it's one of those things that gets easier as they get older anyway!

Think it depends parly on the baby and the routine, and parent tbh. We put ds in a routine, and he was definitely happier, but then I am much more comfortable with a I am very much a planner, who likes to know what is happening when. If I'd been a more spontaneous type, I'm not sure it would have worked so well. I think the main thing is that you are happy with what you are doing. It sounds like you have a basic routine anyway, so if you are happy with that and your baby is too, then stick with it.

I think soemtimes it is the mummies who are happier with a routine (espeically if they have just left a fairly structured job) and perhaps that in turn transfers to the baby. However mine(and me!) were happy to just jolly along and dd in particular didn't really fall into a recognisable one until abotu 6 months. Doesn't mean there wasn't a pattern to our day though, rather like yours

my advice - and its one I take myself

go with the flow

Think it depends on the child, but ds1 (3 1/2) definitely is. Generally a very happy confident boy, but will start falling apart once someone else takes over (slowly if they try and follow his routine; scarily fast if they don't even pay lip service). Hard for PIL since they just don't live that way any more. Mind you never thought I'd live this way either.
Not sure about ds2 (5.5 months). He is very happy, but am still figuring him out.

IMO sleep routines are important. I suffer with insomnia if I don't stick to one, so why should children be any different. I stick to loose routines with food and stricter ones with sleep. If I allow my 10 mth old to cat nap whilst we're out and about, we all suffer for it. Actually, most of the time, he just won't sleep like that. I prefer him to sleep in his cot at designated times. Same with my 2 year old. Both happy, healthy, no sleep issues. Baby sleeps 7pm - 8ish and toddler sleeps 8pm - 8am

I don't think set routines are a great idea. BUT I do think it is nice for babies to know what is coming next (and they seem to respond to that) and some structure can help give parents an easier way of working out why their child is howling and to get time for a shower!
The reason I hate "routines" is that they often seem to have a one-size fits all approach and most babies need something more individual.
Structure is good, but finding one that suits is a process of compromise between you and your baby. The thing is, as they grow and change, as soon as you think you have a 5 month old's day sorted, they decide they want to do something else IME!

There's a difference between a routine and a schedule. Babies need a certain amount of sleep (all different of course) and a structure will help you make sure they take that sleep when it's the most useful to you, i.e. at night! In terms of feeding, i tend to get hungry at about the same time each day, give or take half an hour and i don't see why babies should be any different, esp with their tiny tummies. But you will go MAD trying to get them to follow the exact times that someone else says are right.

I put DS into a routine when he was two months, having attempted to follow his lead but being driven insane when it turned out that his idea of a routine was to sleep for ten minutes, then feed for three hours, all day and night.

We were both a lot happier once we had a routine going. I also needed to have some kind of structure as I work from home and need to have some idea of when he sleeps so I can get some work done! But I have always been a very structured type of person, so it worked for me. Likewise most of my friends don't follow a routine and they and their babies are equally happy! I think it all depends on the baby and the mum.

What's IMO?

In My Opinion

Doh!

My DD didn't have a routine that coincided with the clock till she was about 9 months. Before that it was more of a rhythm or cycle of eat, sleep, play, not relating to the clock at all. I think you get to know the signs of what they need next in the cycle, may as well be guided by that I say (though every baby's different so can't really speak for any but mine!)

I don't think she's any more or less contented 'living by the clock' than just following a vague cycle of activity!

I didn't think ds was in any sort of routine (and worried about it in a vague sort of way) until dh had some time off work and pointed out that he took his naps at almost exactly the same times every day.

As we get up and I feed him at fairly set times and we do the same things before bed every night, lo! we have a routine and I never even noticed..

It's flexible enough to be stretched though without ds going into meltdown if things are a bit different occasionally so that's got to be a good thing surely?

We were lucky though that he fell into a pattern of 3 hourly feeds from birth. I think sometimes when people say they put their dcs into a routine it means they didn't like their natural one - which is fair enough if they're feeding all the time & never sleep!

I work on the theory of a routine in so far as DS knows what's coming roughly. So on waking there is a set routine to get him dressed, teeth, breakfast, bottle, poo, play whilst mummy does housework. Then I know it is 3 hours from when he woke till his first nap which can be as long as he likes. His second nap will be approx 3.5 hours later. Lunch is at midday give or take. Tea is at 5pm, bottle at 6pm, bath 6.30, bed 7pm. So there is an element of routine but the flexbility means DS can cope with change and different things on different days but he knows where he is and what to expect.