DD with no interests - help find a hobby

[fromroses]

DD(10) has no interests and a very short attention span. I say she has no interests, she's interested in ROBLOX and Minecraft and that's it.

DD(7) has many interests. She loves cooking, helping with the cleaning and doing things with her dad like building things out of wood etc. As a result we spend a lot of time with DD2 doing things and not a lot of time with DD1. We take an interest and even play ROBLOX with her on our own accounts but it's not long before we're all a bit bored.

We've tried active hobbies like dancing after school, encouraging reading (she's absolutely not interested in this), getting her involved making things and cooking but she's bored within a few minutes and doesn't enjoy anything and starts complaining that she wants to go back on the computer. Now we're concerned she's going to feel left out as she has nothing she does with us like DD2 and we don't want her to feel that way.

Can you recommend any hobbies, weekend or otherwise that may interest her? We're out of ideas and desperate to get her into something other than a computer screen. Thank you!

Do something where she is out of the house so going on the computer is not possible. My sons do cricket, football, rugby and rookie lifesaving. You could also look at rock climbing, geo caching, wild swimming, water polo, a drama group, guitar lessons, martial arts, kids boot camp, coding club. There is literally hundreds or options. The main thing is making sure she knows quitting so she can stay home on the computer is not an option.

I agree. Get her out of the house! Does she ride a bike? DD1 has just got her first big girls bike (the one up from the first with stabilisers) and we are off on bike rides at weekends. Autumn is the perfect time for great rides. She loves rock climbing too. It sounds like you need to find something that's really "her thing" something she can get into and she doesn't mind giving up her games for.

What about the Girl Guides ? Lots of different activities and some socialising too.

Or Scouts?

Guides is a good shout but we're on a waiting list in our area as it's so oversubscribed.

We've tried swimming, the trampoline park and bike riding but she seems to enjoy it but once we're home and we try to prompt her into doing crafts or something offline and she goes into a meltdown about how she hates everything and just wants her games. We limit the computer to an hour after school and four hours over the weekends and she just goes to her room to listen to music in between complaining that she wants the computer back.

I'll look into drama groups. She loves singing, dancing and acting but she's got such a short attention span that she just wants to do it on her own rather than being taught how to do it, if you see what I mean? I think the best idea is to keep her occupied on the task at hand. We don't get out a lot as we have a 16 day old baby with some feeding and tummy issues so it feels like every time DH and I start making ground with DD1 the baby needs something from me and I have to bow out to breastfeed. It'll get easier as the baby gets older and DH can express feed the baby while I spend quality time with DD1 out of the house but I'm so scared she'll feel left out.

Can she get more involved in helping out with the baby? Maybe doing things for and with him/her could channel her into some new activities? Knitting or crocheting squares for a baby blanket? Teaching baby some sign language? Making some wooden toys? Decorating a nursery?

Trips to museums and galleries can spark off all kinds of new interests - I would suggest you don't try to do or see everything, just let her go for a wander and look at things that she is drawn to. Try not to push her to pick something though - she probably realises that you are on the look out for a hobby.... try to let it come naturally?

Our local animal shelter runs experience days for children to spend time with the animals learning about them and getting involved in their care. Maybe you can find something similar near to you? Some zoos and farms offer similar schemes?

If she's really into computers, maybe suggest trying some coding? There are loads of free online resources to learn this.

How about drawing or playing an instrument? They are solo activities!

My dd's volunteer at a council run farm/small holding. Sat 10-4, a night after school and loads in the holidays!!
Bliss!!
Ask your council if they have anything similar.

It's entirely possible that your DD has a short attention span because of using computers. You're describing addictive behaviour and the game designers are bloody clever at manipulating gamers that are like this and creating that desire for 5 minutes more. There are whole careers devoted to manipulating gamers and keeping them on the short attention span hook that needs occasional baiting.

It'll go down like a lead balloon but I'd actually recommend she takes a complete break from computers/tablets/phones/games consoles for everything apart from school work for at least a month. Listening to music is fine, as long as her music player doesn't have gamer apps.

Have different activities available to do like the ones you've tried but don't force them on her, just make clear there is a gaming ban in the house for an entire month and when at home she needs to find other ways of entertaining herself. To be fair to your daughter though I'd make sure this is applied to everyone.

There are numerous articles out there that describe the effect gaming has on people and the addictive side of it. Have a quick Google and you'll find one pretty quick.

Don't get me wrong, gaming can be a wonderful way to relax but when it affects your attention span, and you basically sit there wishing away the time until you're next allowed to play then it's venturing into addictive territory which needs to be addressed firmly.

It'll go down like a lead balloon but I'd actually recommend she takes a complete break from computers/tablets/phones/games consoles for everything apart from school work for at least a month.

This.

she's bored within a few minutes and doesn't enjoy anything and starts complaining that she wants to go back on the computer.

What happens then?
How much screen time does she have on a daily basis do you know?

Things she can do alone?

Coding seems the obvious one. Or something involving technical design or building - eg technical lego.

Musical instrument?

Coding/designing games.

What is she like at school? Can she concentrate there?

If there is a waiting list for Guides could she do Scouts instead?

If she’s an introvert then group activities may not appeal. One of my DC finds school / childcare (after school club) more than enough interaction with lots of people and apart from playing with friends or whatever doesn’t want to do any more of it in their free time!