How much does your 10 year old do - self care

[SerialNameChangerMe]

Would it be too much to expect my child to have a shower, independently, each morning before coming downstairs? To prepare her own school bag with everything needed, and to not need prompting to do homework? Things like that? Do your daughters and sons sort their own hair out?

Is that usual stuff for years 5/6?

Yes, that's a standard level of responsibility I'd say. With the exception of homework without prompting; that, I imagine, would be a lovely bonus but not a given.

DD1 is 10, going into year 6 and she'll now take herself off for a shower in the evenings. She wouldn't have time in the mornings, she hates getting up! She also has very long hair so it wouldn't dry in time. She looks after her hair herself now. She packs her own school bag but has to be nagged prompted to do homework!

Dd, 10, has just sorted her bag for tomorrow and she always does her homework without prompting. She doesn’t always like to get a shower but generally she will do without being told to. She’s only just started doing her hair because it’s long and she couldn’t physically manage it until recently.

DD does her own hair, the rest I have to tell her, but she's on her own planet most of the time.

Many years ago now, but my 10 year old daughter would take herself for a shower after athletics but never any other time. She would put her own washing in the machine and then in the dryer, do her own ironing, make lunches for everyone in the hose even made her first Christmas dinner at 11 for 6 people. But she would not get herself up in the morning on a school day, she could never be trusted to pack her own bag except with PE kit, and Certainly would always need prompting no actually, bribing to do her homework. What I am trying to say is every person has their strengths. Don’t expect too much of your DD she may have strengths elsewhere.x

Yep my DD is 10 and unfortunately I have to tell her to go and have her bath, to moisturise her face, to lotion her body etc it is getting exhausting.

Although she does do her chores like pack away the dishes and keeps her room tidy, she packs her school bag although I have to ask her does she have this that and this just ensure she has everything

Dd is 9 and going into year 5 tomorrow 😢
She can take herself off for a bath, wash and dry her hair.
Pack her lunch/school bag
Put her hair in a basic pony tail.
She gets up and makes her bed and opens her curtains every morning.

We will see how she gets on with homework, she was quite good at doing it last year, but they only got a tiny bit on a Friday.

My DD is 10 and she does all these things (except she has a shower in the evening). But when she went away on a school residential trip she said most of the girls in her class couldn't / didn't do their own hair.

I have a 9 yr old who can do all of that. Can do plaits, buns, curls her own hair all better than I can, she also bakes really good cakes regularly with no supervision and occasionally makes us a dinner from scratch with supervision.

However I also have an 11 yr old who really struggles without being asked 10 times to do things. She hates showering, teeth brushing, finds brushing her hair difficult, can do a basic ponytail but not tidily. She's off to secondary school on Wednesday and I do worry about her without someone to prompt her with where she should be and what she should be doing next or preparing for things.

My dts aged 10 pack their lunch bags, shower themselves, do their own hair (dtd does very elaborate hair styles, so much better then I could manage!) make beds and put their clothes away.

My 10yo does all of that, though daily showers are new so I do remind her, and her hair care is basic (rather messy ponytail).

She’s good at doing her homework (she gets very little, tbh), piano practice (every day) and sorting out her dance kit / piano music / whatever she needs for school the next day. She also makes her own packed lunches when necessary.

Funny, I was having the exact same conversation with dh today! Our dd (10) doesn't do much for herself tbh. She is autistic but only mild (level1 high functioning/aspergers)
She will get dressed by herself but won't choose her own clothes so I lay them out the previous night. She won't shower or do her hair by herself but she's recently started doing her own breakfast and likes the responsibility of using the toaster as her younger sister isn't allowed yet.
It'd be nice if she would be more self sufficient but then again she's only just turned 10....

Everything you mention, including a neat plait. She does her packed lunch the evening before and prepares her own breakfast too.