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Splitting Up???

4 replies

247stress · 03/09/2018 19:22

I've been married three yrs, together 7, 2 beautiful children, and despite what the subject says still a lot of love and respect for each other.
Its a set of complicated emotions, as i'm sure everyone can agreed but we arn't the couple we once were, I believe I love H but not in love with him.
I don't want to chuck the towel in right now, it might be repairable but I think we need time apart. Space.
We have discussed him moving out and us taking a break. I think its the best step really BUT i'm scared of how the kids will react. What do I tell them. Its going to be so confusing for them. H will still want/need to be around a fair bit, not only for the kids sake but also because he has them while im at works a couple times a week. Also how will I cope financially? We will be separated but with the intention of trying to work things out. I will need some government help financially but how will this look to outside eyes? I don't want to get into trouble for trying to help my marriage but at the same time I really think we need to do this.

OP posts:
anotherangel2 · 03/09/2018 19:35

Honestly, I think if you want to make it work then you go to marriage counselling and work on your problems. Get a baby sitter and have a date night.

I don’t think time apart is going to make things better. What if your DH get tired of waiting around for you to make a decision? How do you feel about him dating and having sex with someone else? What if that someone else becomes permanent - how would you feel then?

LusaCole · 03/09/2018 20:23

I tend to agree with anotherangel. If you love H and think it could still work between you, I'd suggest counselling, date nights etc rather than him moving out. If you need space, could you carve out some specific time every week for you to do a hobby or have some "me time"?

Unless there is a really good reason that you haven't given, I don't think that living separately and claiming benefits is the answer.

ThePants999 · 03/09/2018 20:30

You don't repair a relationship with time apart. When you hear people celebrating their 50th wedding anniversaries asked for the secret of their success, how often do you hear them say "that six month separation we had 20 years ago was the key"?

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InDubiousBattle · 03/09/2018 20:59

How old are your dc? I'm inclined to agree with pp, if you want to work on your relationship then stay together and work on it.

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