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AIBU ??

4 replies

JustWingingIt16 · 03/09/2018 04:55

i apologise now for the rambling but here goes ...

so, DH is currently away with work until December. (he left in august). this is the first time we've done a longer stint apart since DS was born and hes now nearly 2 and a half. We've done the odd week apart here and there since but nothing this long.

As harsh as this sounds, him being away doesn't really phase me anymore, (the saying goodbye does, and that first day, but then im fine and just carry on with life) it happens quite regularly, so we're kind of just used to it.

this is the first time, in this newer circle of friends hes been away for longer than a week. Everytime i bump into them, while we're out or when we go to the gym on an evening (DS goes to the kids zone while i train) im always asked 'are you coping?' or 'are you struggling yet' or 'hows single parent life going'

i know they're probably just trying to make conversation or just genuinely interested if im ok, but its EVERY TIME i see them. Its more the way they say it and the look they give, and then how their look changes or their attitude changes when i say that im fine and im not doing anything differently.

are they expecting me to fail or struggle with DH being away? or am i just being paranoid that their judging me on how i parent alone compared to when DH is home with us?

OP posts:
StinkySaurus · 03/09/2018 04:59

They are probably just reaching out incase you need some extra help. I think they are just being kind.

JustWingingIt16 · 03/09/2018 05:48

i thought this but it always seems so negative.

im not the most confident of people, so maybe im just thinking that everyone expects me to struggle or breakdown and tell them i cant cope. i do tend to think that people think i dont have what it takes sometimes.

maybe it is just me ...

OP posts:
claraschu · 03/09/2018 05:55

Sometimes people just speak in a formulaic way. It is dull and frustrating,, but doesn't really mean anything. There are people I run into regularly who always say the same things to me- they just don't know me very well and don't have anything more interesting to say.

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StinkySaurus · 03/09/2018 06:39

I also think @Clarachsu has got it completely right. I don’t think they are expecting you to fail they just don’t have much else to say and are probably wondering if you need in help. And they are probably in awe of how well you are doing! I know I am :)

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