Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

children socialising

22 replies

Creeper8 · 02/09/2018 23:27

I have 4 kids. I dont have many friends and the c ouple I do have dont have kids. My older 2 go to school and although they have friends in school it has been purely a school thing (no play dates) I live on a main road so no kids play out. Im wondering how I can make some friends for them? How do I put them into clubs outside of school or is there anything else I can do? Dont want them to end up like me!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LusaCole · 02/09/2018 23:30

Have you tried asking your DC's school friends over for a play date?

FelixTitling · 02/09/2018 23:30

How old are your kids? Why have there not been any playdates? Could you encourage them to have some at your house?

Original poster

Creeper8 · 02/09/2018 23:53

Theyve not been invited to any and im not friends with any of the mums tbh I dont even know who they are so wouldnt really want to invite anyone over for that reason. There friendships havent extended outside of school, I think it only really does if you become friendly with the mums aswell. Was thinking of maybe some clubs or something away from the school but google has been abit useless havent really found anything.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

Creeper8 · 02/09/2018 23:54

To add the school age ones are 6 and 7.

OP posts:

Sarahani · 03/09/2018 00:04

Can you do a few play dates or invite some one from school to the park? I just asked the teacher who they play with and invite accordingly.

Otherwise do neighbours have children similar ages or brownies/beaver type activity?

TwentySmackeroos · 03/09/2018 00:10

Are there not notices/fliers up in the school or local shops for your local dance class/football team/gym club? Local Facebook group? What sort of things do they like - art, sports, clubs?

I didn’t know anyone in my area when my eldest started nursery, so I went to library groups, pre-school play groups, gymnastics, Ladybirds ... then we progressed to play dates at the playground. Hopefully you will find someone in a similar age set-up. Ask your school-age children if they have made any special friends they would like to have over. Send a note home with your ctc details if you don’t know the parents.

NeverTwerkNaked · 03/09/2018 00:30

I’m quite shy and sometimes shattered from work at school pick up but have still managed to make some friends although it took a long time!

My tips- strike up conversation; people like being complimented so that’s a good way to break the ice

Start signing your children up to a club or two each that they will enjoy. And chat to people at drop off/ pick up.

If you can, help out/ volunteer for things at school/ the clubs. Helping out in school trips etc helped me get to know more mums.

Get your children to tell you who they like playing with. Then introduce yourself to the parents of those children and suggest a play date at yours

Host birthday parties for your children and make the effort to have a brief chat with all the parents

It slowly builds up, the more you get “out there”.

LusaCole · 03/09/2018 07:41

You don't need to be friends with the other child's mum to invite them over for a play date, especially as the kids get older. If your DC have good school friends I'd encourage that rather doing after school clubs (although you could do a couple of clubs too). They see their school friends every day, so it's easier to turn into a firm friendship than someone they see for an hour once a week. Take the plunge and invite another child over!

MsAwesomeDragon · 03/09/2018 07:46

DD has a new friend who joined the class at Easter. In order to help her make friends her mum wrote notes to go into a few school bags saying "X would love Y to come and play at our house. This is our number, please give me a ring to organise something". It was quite lovely and we've met up a few times so far.

If you're at the school gates you can talk to the parents of the children yours like. You don't have to be firm friends you just need to say "we'd love it if X could come to tea one day, would that be possible?"

NonaGrey · 03/09/2018 07:52

You don’t need to friends with the Mums and at 6 and 7 they can tell you who their friends are surely?

Original poster

Creeper8 · 03/09/2018 13:45

Well would mu

OP posts:

Original poster

Creeper8 · 03/09/2018 13:46

well would mums send their kids to peoples houses they didnt know? I wouldnt personally.

Just to be clear im not looking to make friends myself.

OP posts:

TheWinterofOurDiscountTentsMk2 · 03/09/2018 13:48

Isn't that the main reason to have 4 kids? So you don't need to ship in other kids for them to play with?

Original poster

Creeper8 · 03/09/2018 14:17

lol I am probably over thinking it. It was just a question asked to me recently if my children play with friends much outside of school and when I said not really as I dont have friends with small children so they dont really have the oppurtunity they looked at me like I had two heads and had said something really shocking!

OP posts:

Sarahani · 03/09/2018 14:48

My 6 year old has play dates with school friends. I don't always know the parents, sometimes I've meet them at parties or will say hi in the playground, sometimes not. Doesn't seem to be a problem

Tigger001 · 04/09/2018 00:10

Do you kids want to have play dates ? At 6 and 7 they would surely know if you said, do you want to invite a friend over? And if they say yes, wham, sort out a play date with their friend, you don't have to make friends with your kids, friends ,mum (if you follow that) just a chat, exchange numbers and allergies etc

LusaCole · 04/09/2018 08:48

Yes OP, mums do send their DC for play dates if they don't know the other mum. Personally I'd stay for a cup of coffee and a quick chat but in my experience some mums don't even do that

LusaCole · 04/09/2018 08:50

DS (age 8) started a new school in Jan and he's already had three friends over to play.

funmummy48 · 04/09/2018 08:55

When my children were very small, we invited children for a playmate and usually their mother would stay. We'd have a cup of tea and a chat and so I got to know them. Your children could join an After School club, which most schools send copious emails/flyers for, or you could Google information for other local clubs, depending on their interests. It's not difficult.

ruddynorah · 04/09/2018 09:02

You need to look for local Facebook groups. Search the name of your town or area and there will probably be one. Then you get ideas of what's on, what groups are happening like cubs, dance classes, kick boxing etc. Other places to check are in the library there is often a notice board of groups or your local leisure centre will have kids classes for swimming and other sports. However, as the others have said, you can just ask your kids school friends over. Give them a note to give their friends mum or dad.

Original poster

Creeper8 · 05/09/2018 23:26

Thanks. Dont really want to go down the school friends route. Think its abit late now theyve been there a while and nothing. I dont think there school does any after school clubs, its never been mentioned?? I will check the fb pages out thanks.

OP posts:

Sarahani · 06/09/2018 08:57

It's definitely not too late, they are only little still! It's not obligatory though either but might help them form friendships with their peers and help their social skills.

Flip