Can anyone suggest a good anger management book

[funnypeculiar]

slapped poor ds today , and am conscious of having screamer at him a couple of times in the last few days - I am normally not a screamer...

Feel like it's time for me to look at this & try and get myself back in control- has always been an issue for me - any suggestions?

How old is ds? Maybe what you really need is some time out occasionally

How old is ds? Maybe what you really need is some time out occasionally

He's three and a bit. Never get cross with dd (15 mths) and she is much more annoying
Think ds is a bit too much like me, iykwim.

Completely - do you get time without them at all.

Thanks dusty
I do get some - I work two days a week (from home) and dh is a star - he always lets me lie in if they wake up early...

We're off for 2 weeks hols next week, so maybe that'll be a good break...

Sounds like thats just what you need

Thanks dusty

Anyone have any other practical suggestions (not that your aren't practical, dusty!)

I can't recommend any actual book as I am a bit out of the loop with that sort of thing. One thing that can be useful is to keep a sort of anger diary. Whenever you lose it you need to write down what happened and how you felt. You also need to write down what happened before you got angry and the consequences of your anger. This can help you learn to know your triggers. Sometimes people feel like their anger comes from no-where but thats never the case and very often when you look back over an anger diary you'll find patterns.

I have done something similar to this myself recently. I didn't actually keep a diary as such but I realised that i had become very irritable on certain occasions recenty and couldn't see why. Looking back over the last few months I can see that this seems to have a monthly pattern to it and I am wondering if for the first time in my life (I am 36) I am having a sort of PMT.

Other people find that something else happens earlier in the day (or even week) that they don't react to at the time and that this sets them off on the path of losing it later.

Practical suggestions for dealing with anger whilst you are in the situations are things like counting to 10 / using breathing control exercises (like they use in yoga)/ visualisation techniques and time out. I realise timeout is difficult when you have little ones but if you feel yourself becoming annoyed make sure they are safe and then take 5-10 mins out in another room. My SIL used to have to do this in the toilet as her kids would follow her everywhere else

It also helps to get out if you are feeling like this. A walk in the freash air and down to the park can really help to relax you and somehow things often seem easier to deal with when you aren't enclosed by 4 walls.

Dusty - sorry, hadn't seen these additions - those are both really useful - as it happens, PMT was involved, I've realised (hadn't checked my dates) and have been fine the last few days...

I'll defin try the diary thing, and have been talking about re-starting yoga (having not been to classes for ages) - thanks for the impetus

Is it possible for you to see a counsellor about it at all? Local colleges sometimes offer cheap sessions with trainee counsellors if cost is an issue

sorry I don't know of any books

F&Z - I'd rather try and go the self help route first if I can - I tend to learn quite well from books! To be fiar, I know this is a learnt behaviour - I'm very like my dad who has fairly short fuse...

Beating Anger (or something like that) - 8 steps to doing so...cannot remember full name. It's on amazon or through the British Association for Anger Management.

dustystar's anger diary sounds like a technique i used last year. do you have underlying issues that keep you simmering? i do, so, if so, i can imagine what you're dealing with.