I don’t feel smart enough or that I have anything to talk about

[Mummyoftwo28]

Sorry if this isn’t the best place for this but wasn’t sure where to put it.

I just wanted some advice. I feel so inadequate in social settings. I never feel like I have anything interesting or good enough to talk about. Everyone seems to be doing amazing in their career, either setting up their own business or having a high flying career whilst raising kids and managing to do multiple charity work projects.

And I’m just there like yes hi I’m a mum of 2, I have an average job. Period.

What things can I do that are for me? A course? A project?

I’m 29, been in my current job for almost 6 years when I was only meant to be there for a short period. But ended up staying longer as their maternity package was great and flexible hours worked out great. Now kids are 4 and 2 I feel like I want to change jobs and get back to my ideal career path but 6 years of working in a company that has nothing to do with my interest has made me lose confidence and skills. I almost don’t even know what I want to do.

I feel so pressured to be doing something amazing. To have something to add in conversations with parents, friends and family.

I'm also 29 and have similar feelings. I have 7 and 3yr olds. Nothing to talk to colleagues about except the family and likewise with Mum friends. All my other friends disappeared a while ago.

I was always very career driven but have settled for a comfortable but not challenging part time role for the flexibility.

I try to read a bit and keep up to date with the news to give me something to talk about other than the kids, but struggle to find the time.

I tried out a voluntary role for the last year one day per month, to update my skills in this career area, but childcare was becoming too difficult to organise around it.

I'm just a mum of two with an average job, no free time and very few friends.

I did a degree part time and I really cannot articulate enough how it restored my confidence, gave me a new set of friends and generally changed my life and therefore my children's lives for the better.

Ultimately, this is not a question that others can answer for you. it depends on your interests etc. Lot's of my mum friends do yoga, a few have trained to teach and one group of mums now run a very successful small yoga retreat a few times a year where they get to mix with like-minded people. You have to see what would work for you and then and this is crucial you have to MAKE time.

I think most parents don't have much spare time really as we prioritise our families in the time we have available. Many people I know don't have time to read for example. On paper I don' either but I love to read so I make time - always in bed, on the commute, I have a kindle and when i read on that instead of an actual book I can read whilst cooking/sorting washing etc because it is important to me.

I think what I am saying is it isn't about being smart enough but finding something you are interested in and developing that which then gives you something to talk about and also probably people to talk to.

I'd be wary about what people say in the playground - it's like a snippet of their lives - RL instagram or whatever. Unless you really know these people you are unlikely to witness the arguments over housework at home/frustrations at working late and having to sort new childcare/finance issue and so on. Nothing is as perfect as people let on these days. It's as if we have become too scared to tell each other our problems because social media says we are all so bloody happy and excelling all of the time. I don't buy it. I want an uncomplicated life. Everyone else can be as "busy" as they like. I'm happy

I really sympathize I know how you're feeling...Do you have any hobbies? I started up a local art club 1 day a week when I was feeling like there was nothing except work and babies and it gave me something to focus on each week. You've mentioned your career and having recently been in your position I decided to make my LinkedIn profile "active" and companies reached out to me instead of doing the dreaded job hunt! It will give you a confidence boost to update your CV and profile and you never know who might reach out...The only other thing I would say is that being a Mum of 2 and working is bloody hard work and if you're happy then don't feel like you need to do anymore!