Feeling lonely

[Ladyk79]

Hi Mummies,

Does anyone feel lonely since having their lo. I love my lo to bits but I am finding it a very lonely experience. My oh works hard and long hours during the week. We moved to a new area quite away from friends and family (we never thought of the impact of having a child and being so far away).

I am very shy and find it difficult to make new friends because of this. I really feel lost and want to move back to being nearer family and friends but right now just can not afford it.

Has anyone felt like this and how did you overcome it?

Thanks

Hi Op!

and for you. Its a life changing experience and I think its normal to feel a bit lonely when you spend all day every day alone with your little one. I moved to Bristol when I got married and I knew no one apart from my DH and his family, the one thing that has really got me through the past 7 months at home with my DS is my friends I've made through my antenatal classes, or on the app MUSH. I'm also shy like you - but I figured nothing ventured, nothing gained. There are also facebook groups you can join for mums to connect in your area, you've just got to be brave and give it a go, theres no obligation to carry on seeing anyone if you don't enjoy their company after all.

Yes I deginately get lonely at time. I too adore my children but sometimes it’s a lonely place. I try and make sure I leave the house every day to somewhere - anywhere will do! Someone always stops and talks to you when you have a baby, about 5 different people spoke to me in the supermarket today. Big hugs ladyk79

I definitely felt this way too OP. It’s a big step going from working full time to being at home with a baby let alone moving area. One thing I read on MN is to look on the other Mums you meet as colleagues rather than potential friends. You don’t have to make friends wit( everyone, but you got a lot in common with the other Mums already, you’re all got LOs.

I’ve heard the Mush App is good. The local NCT group helped me loads when mine were little, I did a bit of volunteering with them too which helps to keep your brain ticking over.

I’d try to go to as many groups as you can and accept any invitations. The more Mums you meet and the more things you go to, the more likely you are to click with some other Mums

Oh thanks ladies, it’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one that feels this way. I know I have to just take myself out of my comfort zone and just get out there no matter how shy I feel. Like you say I have nothing to lose xx

Time other thing to try to remember is half of them are probably feeling exactly the same as you. Lots of people can assume that everyone knows everyone else and they’re all big friends but as you get to know them, they’re probably just as shy

Hi OP. How old is your little one?

I was very much the same as you - newish to the area and no local friends or family of my own.

Does your local children's centre hold weekly classes? This is the class I first braved as it's drop-in rather than booked and only costs £1. As it happens the week I went there was about 4 other mums on their first week too! It turns out there's a lot of people in the same situation who all want the same thing. Having a baby can be very lonely at times. I'm not saying everyone you meet will be your friend for life but everyone I've met so far has been lovely, and looking for the same thing.

If you don't fancy that, how about signing up to a local baby swimming class, or a paid group (that will make you go!). I've not been to a single cliquey group yet and am so pleased I finally took the plunge.

Good luck!