9 month old not sleeping - any tips??

[Tentoes21]

Hello MNs

I’m posting in the hope that some of you will have been there - and come out the other side alive?!?

My baby is 8.5 months. He’s always woken for feeds all through the night
And is stuck in a pattern of 10pm, 2am, 4am, 5am, 6am waking for feeds on Boob.

I am losing my mind with exhaustion.
When he was 4 months we tried replacing Night feeds with water but he wouldn’t take it.
Then we tried controlled crying but he Cried and cried without ever calming down.
We’ve tried Tracy Hogg’s pick up put down method too - he just gets irate.
I’ve also tried feeding him for shorter periods each time, still no change.

At 6 months he went to his own room and he slept 7Pm - 5am for 3 nights...and then started to wake at old times again.

Has anyone had similar problem and solved it?
Please advise if you can.

I am feeling so guilty and like a massive failure. I am just so tired and it’s affecting everything.
I’m starting to panic that this will go on forever...

I realise this is my fault as I set up these bad habits - my baby links milk with sleep.
I got a lot of conflicting advice early on (including a health visitor telling me i must not leave him to cry as it’ll affect his mental health 😬)
and hate this mess we’re in.

Any advice (please no haters!) on things that have worked most welcome
Or if any of you have used / can recommend a sleep trainer?

Thanks all x

First things first, it's not your fault. We've all fed to sleep at one point because it's quick easy and comforts you both.

Does your monitor play music remotely? It doesn't always work but it worked half the time for us, playing that as soon as he starts crying will help him drop off again. You may find he'll start skipping that feed.

Also giving our DS a massive dinner so he was full and sleepy when he was put down.

Btw I still feed to sleep for bed time because it's the time he's not wriggling around all the time so I get a cuddle

Waking in the night is normal OP if not very convenient for you. Some babies just do need milk and a bit of reassurance that you’re there. Can I ask you what your typical day looks like? A bit of tweaking might help

One thing that might work is sleeping on his cot sheets for a couple of nights before you put them in the cot. This will give them a familiar and comforting smell. If you are Bfing, get DH to sleep with the sheets instead otherwise they’ll just smell of your milk and might make it worse.

Do you get a lie in too? We BF and as a result I did all of the night wakings but DH always got upband let me sleep a for a bit longer in the morning. Have you got someone who could give LO breakfast and maybe take them to the park first thing?

Have you got the Wonder Weeks App too? It tells you when there’s going to be a developmental leap so waking can increase. It just basically gives you reassurance that what baby is doing is normal and will soon get better and gives you the heads up so that you can get an early night

Controlled crying and pick up and put down didn’t work for us either. What did help was the No Cry Sleep Solution and Get Your Baby to Sleep.

Have you tried white noise? We have a ewan the sheep and it starts playing the noise once ds makes a noise and it helps settle him back to sleep rather than wake and need me to resettle him

My experience was very similar to yours but my DS was FF. As a minimum he was waking every 2 hours and it felt like it was never going to end. He went in his own cot at 6 months and the waking continued. I was so tired and worried about going back to work (when he was approx 10/11 months). Somehow the situation resolved itself. I didn't do any "methods" but just went to him to reassure him when he cried and suddenly things started to improve. Just after his 1st bday he started sleeping more and then eventually he slept 7pm to 6am!!! He's 2 next week and I'm due out 2nd baby any day so I've got it all to come again. It's awful when you're in the midst of it and everyone seems to say their babies sleep but in my experience this time will pass and improve!! Sounds like you're doing an amazing job and you'll be setting him up for good sleep in the near future as he's secure that you're there.

This is my 3rd baby and follows the exact same pattern as yours, as did my first two. They started sleeping through themselves both around 10 mths so I’m hoping this one is the same.