Tell me things more likely to happen than SIDS

[fromroses]

Sat here with 11 day old DD and while SIDS has always been a major concern for me, the anxiety is really amping up.

She's combination fed, she sleeps in the same room as us (at the moment in the living room with me or DH on the sofa as she has a lot of trapped wind and cries a lot at night), we don't smoke in the house, she has a dummy to go to sleep but she's always pushing it away, she's always feet to foot on her back in the Moses basket well dressed or in a British standard approved sleeping bag with nothing else in the basket except a mattress, the dummy and a fitted mattress sheet etc. We don't use sleep positioners or nests. As far as I'm aware, we're following all of the advice for safe sleep.

I have two other DC, 10 and 8 who are perfectly healthy. My anxiety is running wild. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can't possibly be this happy and blessed when I've made so many mistakes in the past.

So to help me ease my worries slightly enough to sleep, what are things more statistically likely to happen than for my beautiful, perfect baby to die unexpectedly of SIDS? 😢

She has just got through probably the most dangerous time of her life which was her birth, the risks to her are dramatically lower now, I know it's easier said than done but try and relax and enjoy your baby.

I broke a fair few of the rules and my baby is still here

DH smokes and I can quit using the vape like I have in the past but find it doesn't quell anxiety like a tobacco rollie does. If I quit, DH wouldn't at the moment so it seems futile at every turn in relation to this (not our overall health). Like I said, I keep making excuses for it because it's the only thing I really have to cling on to besides coffee as I don't drink at home and I'm not being extremely social at the moment.

We made it through the night. It helps as she has reflux/colic/regular gas pain screaming fits so I'm up a lot during the nights to settle her and to comfort feed at the breast. As much as I'd love sleep, the thought of her actually settling through the night terrifies me. I feel awful too as she's clearly in pain and we're doing everything recommended to combat it but once her pain has gone it won't remind her to wake up if you see what I mean?

I'll definitely seek help if it doesn't ease. I can't be the best mother and enjoy our baby with so much anxiety. As much as I love her and do enjoy every moment with her, I would feel so much better if I could just relax into every moment. I've been looking at the mobile Hero monitor to use when she's not in her bed. It's all very crazy considering £70 is a large expense we can't really afford but I'll buy it anyway if it helps ease my mind.