Keep the nap and have 2.7 year old go to bed at 9pm or keep the nap and have long and painful afternoons?

[Summerdays2014]

2.7 year old son has been a nightmare at bed time for the past 2 months. We have tried lots of different things but the only thing that gets him to sleep before 9pm is dropping the nap completely-which someone suggested to us.
He was fighting the nap anyway and would only fall asleep in the car and I would then bring him inside.
Now afternoons are such hard work he is grumpy, tearfull, and I can’t take him anywhere in the car as he’ll fall asleep. But he has been asleep at 7 each night (admitidly we have only been doing this for 4 days so far)
I don’t know whether to persevere with no nap in the hope he will get used to it and it will get better?
What has everyone else’s experiences been with dropping the final nap? I was hoping it would continue for a while yet but so many others say they have already dropped it.
Thanks

Sorry. Title should say or DROP the nap and have long painful afternoons.

He will get use to not having naps but it does take time! My ds went through an awful phase around that age any hint of a nap and he would take forever to go to sleep at night. So there was no naps at all for around 6 months which was really hard in the afternoons. However around 3 and bit he started having 20 mins in the car (or less) and still going to bed on time. This is still the same now at 4. He doesn't always nap but he is prone to falling asleep in the car and if it is before 3 it does not disrupte his bed time!

my sympathies

Our problem was early waking, rather than a late bedtime. My daughter went to sleep beautifully, but was no longer tired once 5 am rolled around because she'd had an afternoon nap, so her sleep requirements had been met (mine weren't ).

I found reducing nap length gradually helped, rather than going cold turkey on it.

From memory, I think I reduced it by 15 mins every few days/week. It took a few weeks, but it was really nice to finally have her waking at a civilised hour.

Would it be feasible for you to try gradually reducing the nap, if things don't improve over the next week or two? And e.g. each time nap length is reduced you could bring bedtime 15 mins earlier.

Exact same scenario at a similar age, we dropped the nap. But I wouldn't say that was the 'right'or 'wrong' answer, just what we chose. We still get a couple of hours of grottyness before bedtime if she's particularly tired. But if she has a nap she's rampaging around beyond 9pm. I suppose we prioritised having an evening and sucked up the pre-bedtime whinging (which has lessened with time).

Another factor I suppose with us is we have a 5yr old, and if she'd end up staying up late too, and with school in the morning to consider I didn't want her having late nights.

Drop it and push through - it took our LO a few weeks to get over the afternoon misery - walks helped (the light stimulates circadian rhythm or something) and bringing bedtime forward for a half hour initially helped too. be consistent in it though or it may get worse before it gets better! good luck x

We had this when dd was the same age. She would actually be in bed asleep by 6.30pm when she first dropped them!
on nap days I had to wake her up after two hours ( no later than 3pm) but like you it would be 9pm before she would be asleep.
Every 2/3 days I'd let her have a nap and if we were doing something in the afternoon I'd let her nap in the car for 20 mins and she would still go to bed early.
It took her a few months to completely drop them and when we went on holidays she would still nap up to age 4 and a half.
I loved when she completely dropped them as it gave us much more freedom!
Now we have baby dd and naps once again rule our lives

Thanks everyone. It helps to know others have been in this situation.

It’s 7pm and he’s fast asleep (in our bed with me next to him but that’s another issue... I’ll move him into his own bed in 10 minutes or so) he fell asleep in about 5 minutes which is fantastic.

I’m obviously pleased that I get my evenings back and I might actually be able to eat at the same time as my husband instead of doing shifts but... I already miss naps! It’s a really long day without a break in the middle and he goes absolutely mental for about half an hour before we put him down - I know he’s over tired.

I’ll preserve as you all suggested.

Now, does anyone have any tips to get him to go to sleep in his own bed?!?

We had the same issue and dropped the nap. Took a good few months, and naps came and went for a bit, but ultimately it was either nap and rampaging until 9pm or no nap and bed at 6.30. I prefer no nap. He probably naps once a week max now at 3.2.

We do quiet time instead of naps. So he has to go into his room and play quietly with toys for an hour or so but not sleep. Gives me that break in the day and him some downtime. A gro clock really helped with that as he knows he can’t come out until his clock says, and I’ve had to slowly build up the time. I usually time it for when baby DD is napping so I get an actual break in the day!

We have recently dropped the nap at 2.2 and at first the afternoon were difficult but she has quickly adjusted and deals with it well. A quite time after lunch reading or watching tv is helpful and try not to have lots of busy days together. Bedtime is so much easier now.

Sorry read your up date.

Dd has a 3/4 double so one of us snuggles down until she falls asleep